I am 27 years old, and have a 7 year old stepson who I love a lot, but I see his faults. I am trying to get him back on track as best as I can as far as his behavior goes. But I see mistakes and things that werent done when he was younger, and how this affects his behavior now. I really want to have a baby, and so does my partner, but I am worried that I will love my own child more than him and treat it differently than I do him. I would hate myself if I brought someone into this world and it created a huge rift of jealousy between my stepson and I. He loves me, but ive been a little harder on him lately because as hes getting older, his behavior is getting more testy with us (I know this is normal). Ive been in his life since he was 5. We are a happy family and love each other very much. I just dont want having a new baby ruin things!
2006-07-14 19:48:11 · 6 answers · asked by glddstgpsy26 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
By the way, he really wants a sibling. He seems excited about it, whenever it is going to happen!
2006-07-20 10:47:47 · update #1
First of all, you can't blame the child for how he was raised. You weren't a part of his life then so that part doesn't concern you. All you can do now is be the best parent you can to him.
A new baby may actually pull the two of you closer. I have two children from my first marriage and am remarried. When my second husband and I first married he and my younger son had lots of problems as my 9 year old is a thinker and very compassionate and my husband is used to boys who bounce off the wall, play sports, etc. My 9 year old is just as happy reading a book, talking about the meaning of life as he is playing. Anyway, we decided to have a baby and had a little girl last year. You wouldn't believe how much that changed my husband and also the relationship with my younger son. My husband is now a lot more patient with him as he finally realizes all children are different and you love each of them, step or biological, for these differences. We are expecting another child in January and I am so excited!!!
Hope this helps and best of luck to you!
2006-07-15 03:40:15 · answer #1 · answered by aliza1999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's old enough, talk to him ,see how he would feel if he had a baby brother or sister. It might be what he's craving and can't say. I talked with my son about having a baby and he loved it, at the time he was six, now three years later and two babies later, he's an awesome big brother, and his little sisters are his half sisters. That is all I can reccomend for you to do, just talk to him, get his input on it. If he likes the idea, then let him help get things for the new baby that will be coming, keep him involved in putting the new baby's room together, etc. Being seven, he wants to help make decisions in the family, so by talking with him about that subject will help him feel like a decision maker as well as you and your partner, he will be more willing to accept the new baby when it comes rather than hate it because it takes you away from him by being so demanding. And when the new baby is here, have him help take part in bathing, feeding(if possible), diaper changing and just cuddling the new baby so it will feel like his too. Good luck!
2006-07-14 19:58:39 · answer #2 · answered by masmalan2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I have 7 children of my own and two step daughters. Although I recently divorced my husband I will always love those two girls like I do my own because of the love I have for them as individual people.
It doesn't require blood to love another like your own, infact quite a few kids down this road call me mum because they know I have a love for all and while in my house they are loved as individual people. A love grows because you learn to get to know that person and the things about that person.
There is no jealousy and my children love their half sisters and respect me for loving them as I do.
It is simple when it comes from the heart, just follow your heart
2006-07-14 19:55:17 · answer #3 · answered by WW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a baby you will omit the stepson. This is a natural feeling. Every child has faults. Do not oversee his ones because he is not your own child.
2006-07-16 21:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by tapsev 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget about him go leave that lady , find another wife have a child teach him the rights and beat them with a ball bat.
2006-07-14 20:54:24 · answer #5 · answered by mojo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think that it will ruin things it might even make things better. your step child might be a little jelous though.
2006-07-14 19:51:58 · answer #6 · answered by katelyn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋