come on im wasteing point to give points to the best joke you know one why wont you tell me ?

Question

no black jokes that s just rude!

Answer 1

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?" The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream. So I picked up the frog and it said "Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes." So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman. She said, "You now have 3 wishes." I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger." She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked! She then asked, "What will be your second wish?" I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, "I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. "We then made love for hours!" Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?" I looked at her and replied, "How about a little head?"

Answer 2

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing
out some of the rules. The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. He continued, Anybody caught breaking this rule the second timewill be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?
At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, How much for a
season pass?

Answer 3

A guy is walking along, and he comes to a ladder in the middle of nowhere.

He thinks, "what the hell" and begins to climb.

He comes across a naked woman, and she says "keep climbing to success!"

And so he does. Next he comes across two naked women and they both say "keep climbing to success!"

And so he does.

The farther he goes up, the more naked women he sees.

At last he is reaching the top, where there are naked women everywhere. They are all talking about going to success, and all pointing in one direction.

The man looks in the direction they are pointing, and there is a big naked man holding his d.ick in his hand.

The big man says "Hey there, I'm Cess."

Answer 4

A man goes to the ATM to get some money. While he's there, he is approached by a man with a gun. The man asks for his money, and the other man says, "Don't you know who I am?". The robber says no. He says, "I'm a congressman." The robber says, in that case, give me all of my money.

Answer 5

The Honeymoon And Fishing

A fellow went off on his honeymoon, and after returning meets up with a friend for a beer and conversation.

The friend, being single and a pervert to boot, begins to inquire as to the festivities of the honeymoon.

"So, Bob, big married man, did ya get any while you were out there?" the friend asks.

Bob just shakes his head. "Ah, you know me. I like to fish. So I just fished."

His friend gasps. "You mean you didn't have no sex? C'mon, Bob, tell me at least got a b-l-o-w-j-o-b!"

Bob again shakes his head. "Naw, she had pyorrhea, so I just fished. You know I like to fish."

His friend replies, "Bob, she's your god damn wife! She's gotta give it up when you say! You should just made her do it!"

Bob replies, "Nah, she had gonorrhea, and you know me. I like to fish, so I just fished."

His friend, now quite upset, says, "What?! Why didn't ya just pork it up her a-s-s?"

"Well," says Bob, "she had diarrhea...and you know me, I like to fish. So I just fished."

His friend, totally exasperated by this point, shouts at him, "Jesus! Why'd you marry this sick b-i-t-c-h anyway?!"

Bob replies, "Well, she's got worms, and you know how I like to fish..."

Answer 6

What's the difference between E.T. and an illegal Mexican?




E.T. got the point and went home.

Answer 7

This man walks up to another man and says "I will give you $500.00 to do all my worrying" The man says "sure, I will do it...wheres the $500.00?". The man says "thats your first worry!"

Answer 8

I m wasting my time.