2006-07-14 18:09:21 · 8 answers · asked by mike 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The little girl was so proud of her birthday presents, her first watch and her first perfume. She really made a pest of herself throughout the morning, going up to all...
Intelligent Man
Paddy was the most intelligent man in Ireland. He was the president of the Irish branch of Mensa and he had won a million pounds on Who wants to be a Millionaire, and was...
Special Ring
An older, white haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for...
Loyal Wife
There was a man who had worked all his life, saved all his money, and was a real miser. Just before he died he said to his wife, "When I die I want you to take all my...
Childless Couple
There once was a husband and wife who were unable to have children. After consulting everyone who would listen to their problem, they were still unsatisfied. Finally...
Golfing Preist
A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him. The first says that he usually plays alone but...
Wife & Mistress
A man wanted to determine if both his wife and mistress were faithful to him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, then later question each one on the other...
Spelling Bee
Agatha's 5-year-old developed a strong interest in spelling once she learned to spell STOP. After that, she tried to figure out her own words. From the back seat of the car...
Drinking Horse
A MAN in western attire went into a bar and asked for 30 martinis in a bucket. "What?" questioned the bartender, "Why would you want so many martinis...
2006-07-14 18:15:26 · answer #1 · answered by Abhimanyu S 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds forall male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. He continued, Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?
At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, How much for a
season pass?
2006-07-14 18:16:04 · answer #2 · answered by Pd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out
some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male
students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught break
ing this rule will be fined $40 the first time." He continued, "Anybody
caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $90. Being caught a
third time will incur a hefty fine of $200. Are there any questions?" At
this, a male student in the crowd inquires, "How much for a season pass?"
2006-07-14 18:17:32 · answer #3 · answered by wellwisher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firm It Up
One morning while making breakfast, a man walks up to his wife and pinches her on her butt and says, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence.
The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."
This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis.
With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your brother.
2006-07-14 18:24:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I really can't. I wish I could. But I forget them as soon as I hear them. That's why I come here.....to read and reread them!
2006-07-14 18:17:19 · answer #5 · answered by sue-sue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you hear about the blonde who burned her tongue...she was blowing a candle.
2006-07-14 18:14:51 · answer #6 · answered by daddydoggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I saw this joke on one of the other answers, so I am going to post it for you in case you didn't get to read it.. I'm still cracking up!
*********************
Texas Air Control Tower
Dallas ATC: "Tower to Iraq Air 911 -- You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R."
Iraq Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised !!"
Dallas ATC "Tower to Iran Air 711 -- You are cleared to land westbound on runway 27L."
Iran Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 27L. - Allah is Great !!"
Pause: Static.............
&nb! sp;
Iraq Air: "DALLAS ATC! DALLAS ATC!!!"
Dallas ATC: "Go ahead Iraq Air 911?"
Iraq Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS!!! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE!!! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!!
Dallas ATC: Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah "hey" for us -- ya hear?.
*******************
If you saw it before, I apologize, I couldn't help myself.
2006-07-14 19:39:29 · answer #7 · answered by Pivoine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where's the lesbrian?
2006-07-14 18:16:56 · answer #8 · answered by nonentity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋