How do you help a suicidal friend when you also have thoughts of suicide?

Question

My friend/co-worker recently tried to commit suicide. I myself have been depressed for many years and often feel like ending it. Is it bad for me to tell a person who wants to die I have the same feelings?

Answer 1

I feel like that alot recently.. What i do is go out in to the back yard and lay in the grass lookin upp into a clear night sky. Jus trying to remove all the thoughts in my mind...sometimes it works sometimes i get bug bites but either way its a lil refreshing

Answer 2

I have often wanted to commit suicide; I suffer from chronic bouts of depression. Once a psychiatrist told me he understood why I wanted to end it, and told me that he agreed with me! He was sincere, and it made me stop and think that maybe I was not so bad off (I wasn't, but I sure felt like it). I believe that it might surprise this other person to hear that they are not alone. Depression is a disease of aloneness; finding others sometimes feel the same way can often help to build a bridge to that person. You might find that this person will accept you, because you know how they feel, and that you will not judge them for feeling that way. And in the process, you could come to help that person, by just listening to their feelings. The best thing you can do for your friend is to get them talking about their feelings. This will vent those dark feelings, and it really works. I have had a friend that did that to me a number of times. After I talked a while, I felt a little better. Good luck, you may be just the thing this person needs right now; someone who understands how they feel!

Answer 3

I suppose you could have a contest. =) Sounds like your friend is about to give you a run for your money! Hehe.

I'm kidding.

Seriously, I think if you were to broach this subject with your friend, maybe you two could share your feelings of inadequacy or whatever and find support from each other. Being suicidal is often a very alienating thing, and those experiencing those melancholy feelings often forget that they aren't alone. Though I would caution you to not diminish the fact that suicide is sometimes looked at as a permanent solution for temporary problems. You don't want to make your friend feel as though you are mocking them, their feelings, and their coping or lack of coping skills.

Since you and your friend also appear to work at the same place, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea for you to inquire about an Employee Assistance Program (EA, or EAP) where you two could get counseling, or a support group referral at minimal cost to you.

Cheers, and best wishes. I hope things start looking up for both of you.

Answer 4

That depends. Sometimes, when someone attempts to share the burden, let someone know they know how the other person feels, it takes away from the person experiencing the issue. Wow, did that make sense? For instance, what if someone said, "My aunt passed away last night," and the response they get is, "Both my uncles passed away last week, it was awful. I know how you feel." What this does, however, is take away the feelings the first person is experiencing and that's what has to be dealt with. But, and this is a BIG but, you have something major going on with you, too. If your friend isn't getting help yet, and you aren't either, perhaps together you'll have the strength to reach out. And please do. I'm not saying you shouldn't discuss your feelings with your friend, but I don't know if your friend is equipped to handle it right now. Your feelings and depression need to dealt with. Get a third party involved, someone outside. Please. You two can learn from each other, but as it sounds like your depression is ongoing, and you should take action. Life is out there and you have probably forgotten how it felt to feel good.

Answer 5

I don't think I would share that information with someone who has actually tried to commit suicide. It could be taken in various ways and suicidal people may take it negatively. On the one hand she might not feel as alone and on the other it may serve as a confirmation that life is really bad.

However, if your friend is on anti-depressants and they are working well, I might share some vague information such as, "you know you're not alone, sometimes I don't feel very happy about life either."

The point made above about getting some effective medication for yourself seems like a good idea.

-not a therapist

Answer 6

Address your feelings first. Go to a doctor, and do some of the things that help lesson depression -- exercise, spend lots of time around friends, use positive affirmations, etc.

Then you can say to your friend, wow, I've really had a serious depression. I almost felt like killing myself, even. But I've done these things, and now I feel great!

If your friend was embarassed about his/her depression, it will help them to let you know they're not the only one. (Actually depression is one of the most diagnosed illnesses today.) And if you say, This really worked, and now I feel much better, then they may think about trying it too.

So good luck to you and your friend.

Answer 7

Why don't you and your friend both get one-way tickets to some 3rd-world country like the Philippines and experience life at other end of the spectrum. Maybe you'll acquire a better appreciation for the things that you do have. America -- the land of the lonely. There are a lot of people out there with very, very little in their lives and yet live it with more spirit, more zest, and a greater desire to contribute than you people.

Once you hear that Voice in your head that keeps on saying "I wish I was dead!" Tell it to SHUT UP and GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD! Then go out and tell the world "I'm not dead yet!! You won't get rid of me so easily!"

Answer 8

I'm not going to act like some religious fanatic, but I do have a personal testimony about this issue. I know that the only reason I'm not dead by my own hand is because I knew that the Lord put me on this earth for a reason, because He doesn't make mistakes. I will not give you some long lecture or sermon, but I will tell you four things on how to fix this:
1. Jesus loves you and you are both (you and your coworker) still here for a reason. If you have a Bible, try looking up some encouraging scriptures (email if you would like some references) and PRAY. If its ok with your coworker, try praying together ( I know it can be weird for first timers but you dont even have to say anything aloud. just hold hands and let God speak. I talk to God like I talk to my friend- informally. I even write to Him in a journal, which helps a lot)
2. Encourage your coworker to go with you to a support group or if that is too hard for the both of you, encourage her/him to seek counseling from a psychologist/counselor/minister that you trust
3. TELL SOMEONE who cares about you!
4. seek your purpose in life- GOD HAS A PURPOSE FOR YOU!
You are God's Gift to the world, and you are His possession; you have no authority to take away your life. ASK HIM what he wants of you and you will find it (I suggest reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren and getting the journal that goes with it)
Love from God is the only way I made it through, and He's even teaching me how to love myself. I will keep you in prayer, but please do something positive immediately.

John 3:16- For God so loves YOU that He gave Jesus to YOU that if YOU believe in Him YOU will have ETERNAL LIFE.
He wants you to be happy on earth and do His will so that you can enter paradise WHEN HE CALLS YOU (not on your watch).
YOU ARE SPECIAL!

Answer 9

I agree with Brandy. Seek professional help. Make a list of all the good things you've done and the goog that has happened to you in your life` look at it when you feel depressed and work on adding to it. Have your friend do the same. Ask God to help you both..

Answer 10

No. I think that maybe you both could help each other out of this. You both need to seek professional help. Seriously, I have been depressed before, you don't have to be that way. Please seek help. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and the world is better with you in it. I will pray for you both.