Ok.... i posted this question a couple days ago and i recived really good feedback, but there was a little bit i was leaving ou of my story. I am turning 21 and i am having a big party. He feels like he should not have to go because i do not deserve it. 2 1/2 years ago i cheated on him, and the relationship has not been the same since. He has forgiven me and we have been together 5 years now. I thought the past should stay in the past, should we not focus on the future? The big question is should he go.
2006-07-14 17:48:22 · 12 answers · asked by Elyssa P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Has he really let it go? Have you? If this is still something that is being taken into consideration than forgiveness may be something that both of you need to focus some tlc towards.
2006-07-14 17:51:33 · answer #1 · answered by peacein 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is using it as an excuse. Of course he should go. If he has forgiven you why is it even an issue now. It shouldn't even be brought up. Focus on the future and if he keeps bringing it up tell him that it is in the past and should stay there.
2006-07-14 17:53:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey trust me the past never stays in the past. he may say he has forgiven you for cheating but I don't think someone ever gets over a hurt like that. He should not go. And it sounds like you have bigger deeper problems than a party.
2006-07-14 17:54:50 · answer #3 · answered by Rod P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm i don't know why when this happens people stay together in the first place.....that reminds me you have close to the same name as a girl who cheated on my brother not too far back....it really messed him up...hes in a different state now and is much better but he loved this girl and when that happened his personalities split and everything for awhile.no you really don't deserve it how can you cheat on him and stay with him anyways just end the relationship obviously its not gonna work if he's still ur bf after 5 years
2006-07-14 17:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by thisis j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOWZERS! Some real resentment boiling under the surface here.
He doesn't want to go to your 21st birthday, and you cheated on him years ago? Lady, I can't believe he is with you to begin with. I had a girlfriend who played these tit-for-tat games with me. She would get mad, then try to get back at me. I would be so upset that I too would avoid birthdays, or other get togethers because of the way she treated me and then SHE would do something even worse to get back at me and on and on and on.
THANK GOD IN HEAVEN the nightmare ended, even though it was difficult to do. You can't un-cheat on your boyfriend, and this is totally YOUR fault here. But never-the-less, you both should kiss goodbye and move on to someone else who doesn't have any resentful baggage against you.
2006-07-14 17:57:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump this guy! He hasn't forgiven you if he still holds this grudge. Tell him he can stay home now and forever. He sounds like a ontrol freak. Of course what you did wasn't great but he can't get past it it seems.
2006-07-14 17:53:06 · answer #6 · answered by Elwood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's his forgiveness that should be in question......
he needs to learn that you can either kiss your past or your future goodbye...if he doesn't think you "deserve" his presense than maybe he doesn't deserve you.
trust me I was cheated on and I learned (after being bitter and hurtful for a very long time) that I had to either forgive him and love him for the blessing he is to my life, or dump him....plain and simple
I'm sure he didn't deserve to be cheated on; but he shouldn't make you relive all the mistakes you've made
2006-07-14 17:57:03 · answer #7 · answered by Hannah L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he should go to the party. But there is a bigger problem here, if he is holding that much hostility toward you because of a past indescretion, then maybe you should cut him loose. You can't be on punishment forever, and he most definately can't hold it over your head forever. Tell him to let it go or you are going to let him go, and then make good on your promise.
2006-07-14 17:52:51 · answer #8 · answered by simplyfabulous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forgiven yes forgotten no It's probably best if he goes before the attachments get to far along
2006-07-14 17:58:29 · answer #9 · answered by cnyejr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to counseling as this is going to take awhile.
2006-07-14 17:52:39 · answer #10 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋