I stumbled across incriminating evidence, what should i do?

Question

My dad left his email program up last night, and I was going to close it and carry on my business but what was left caught my attention. It was an email from a close friend of the family (esp to my step-mom) and she said that she liked typing to my dad naked and that she hopes his daughter (my sister) doesnt tell my step mom (that she was there). i got upset, and i left the house immediately. now, do i tell my dad i know, confront her or act as if it never happened?

just to answer some peoples questions, he did answer and it definitly is mutual. whatever is going on isn't right.

Answer 1

Nope, leave it alone... it's between your mom and dad and this other woman. If you get involved, it will only lead to heartache. They are adults and they have to own their own actions.

Answer 2

I think you need to talk to your dad and step-mom together about it. It's something that is important to both of them, and to your family. It needs to be worked out. I'm sure your step-mom would appreciate the honesty. Your dad might be upset with you, but it's his own doing, and as much as you love him, doing what's right is most important. It's like I tell my closest friends all the time, if I don't tell you when you've screwed up and let you suffer the consequences, then I'm not a friend, because I'm teaching you that you're right no matter what. But when I make you suffer the consequences of your actions, I honor you more by making face up to yourself, and all along I'll still be there.

The same applies here. To best help your dad, you need him to realize that he can't do this. He has a responsibility to his family, and he has failed that responsibility. But still love him and care for him.

Answer 3

Ask him if that's the kind of behavior you should expect out of your spouse and good friend? But speaking as a wife I would want to know. But they could always end up denying it then making you look as if you are just trying to start problems. Then again you never know, your dad probably left it up on the screen on purpose so that your step mom could find it. I would think he would try to be more careful unless he just doesn't care. Ask him about it? Ask him why would she send him that email if she's supposedly such a good friend of your step moms.
Or else you can just try to forget you ever saw it and let them worry about it.
Good luck sweetie.
I hope her friend will just go away and your dad will behave.

(maybe scare her away by making little comments when ever you see her. Such as > a friend of mine said this weird chick has been sending him emails. He said she's nasty and that she tells him the most stupidist things like she's typing in the nude.< Then turn to her and say > What a nerd she must be deperate. What a sl*t dont you think so?<)
Ok you don't have to do that, I just thought it would be funny to see her reaction. ;)
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After reading your latest update I have to ask you if he knows that you know by now? Maybe you should hint around to your step mom. Or just straight out ask your dad how could cheat on his wife especially with her best friend? Tell him thats a rotten thing to do and that no one deserves to be treated like that. Tell him it's bothering you. Or what I probably would do is ask her friend why the hell is she trying to break up your family. Tell her she's a selfish, two face, back stabbing, snake that obviously doesn't care who she hurts. Then tell her I hope you get shocked next time you decide to email my dad in the nude. Then she will definately know what your talking about. That should scare her away.

Answer 4

thinks like that happen all the time, every were in the world the most is the middle est but it not a problem.
don't let it eat you up it time to be tatlteller, but in a more smartful way stat to be ur own fbi, plane number one find evidance from that computer the next time you have a chace to close it again, when you find the evidance place it some were ur dad can see it that way when you tell him with ur mouth he would say u i a lier, he will see it with his two window eyes, again make sure you no 911 for abulance depending on how he take it.

Answer 5

I'd say let it go.

There is nothing there other than an email from someone else to your dad and thus nothing to indicate that your dad also likes this.

It could be that your dad hasn't yet responded and that he will respond to the negative or something that indicates that this is not something that is appropriate or that he enjoys.

If you feel that you must say something about it, then you might want to bring it up in a lighthearted fashion, almost like, "So, I didn't mean to see this, but I did...what are you going to say to her?"

A tough situation to be sure, but one that you should be careful with.

Love as always,

Sebastian

Answer 6

If you can, go back and print the email and show it to your mom (step mom, whatever he is married to right now). Or tell your step mom/ mom (person he may be cheating on) if you really feel the need. If you dont want to tell them then let it go. It is your parent's mess and maybe your mom/step mom already knows he is cheating. Or maybe he isnt cheating but that relative/fam. friend is just out of line and trying to get your dad to cheat.

Answer 7

You have to ask yourself what you are going to acheive by tellng him. Are you hoping to shame him into changing? Do you just want to get this anger off your chest? What are the consequences of telling him? Will he wnat you to move out? Will he get violent?
Personally, I think that you should send an anonymous letter to this person and basically say, I know what you and (your father's name) are up to. Knock it off immeidately, or you will all be exposed. Then just act like nothing ever happened. This will freak them out and hopefully scare them into acting with a little more consideration.
Actually, I might tell you Mom the truth.
Good luck.

Answer 8

Conforntation re these matters are often difficult, but most of the time necessary. Timing is important. You might want to 'indirectly' confront you're dad first.

Answer 9

yes tell your dad v a email the naked lady has got to go

Answer 10

it depends on if your dad replied. she may be after him but the feelings arent mutual. if you feel sure there is something going on i'd confront your dad. otherwise pretend it never happened. i wouldn't tell your step mum incase you are wrong this could just cause trouble.