She always wants to meet at her place, wants to control the remote most of the time, always picks the movie, suggests how I should dress, and won't even kiss me until I've shaved my beard and brushed my teeth in the morning. She even went as far as to tell me to shave my chest hair and to get an extra job just to earn money for a trip that she wants to take to Cabo (we just went to Mexico 2 months ago). If we marry, she wants me to sell my house, and move to her neighborhood. She said that's non-negotiable. I live in a pretty nice house in a good neighborhood. I am starting to think she's just too controlling... :(
2006-07-14 16:37:23 · 13 answers · asked by George C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I feel so sorry for you..your fiance is very selfish and immature. This is an unhealthy relationship and unless she is willing to go to counselling and not until after she has actually made a change, should you even consider marrying her. You can't have real love without respect and she has none for you..you don't deserve to be treated this way. A marriage is a partnership and is about sharing and supporting each other in life.
If you don't think she will go to counselling, get out NOW while you can BEFORE you get married and have kids or you're going to be in for a very miserable life. All the best to you.
2006-07-14 16:58:28 · answer #1 · answered by xanadu88 5 · 10⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are about give and take and compromise. From what you have described there is a very unequal distribution in your relationship. The question is can you live with her demands for the rest of your life. You shouldn't have to sacrifice yourself for your relationship. Being with someone is about growth together, not suffocation of one for the benefit of the other. It's time to put your foot down and stand up for yourself. Set limits and say no if her demands are compromising you as a person. It is perfectly OK for you to say how you feel. You may even get some insight into why she makes the demands she does. If she is unable to meet you half way and respect who you are, isn't it better to know now than later.
2006-07-15 05:37:59 · answer #2 · answered by sweet/jennie/leigh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she might be a little controlling, but to be honest, i think she's probably just testing you. After all, none of the "demmands" she is making seem too terrible, just a little bit needy. She might want to see how far you'll go for her, and how much you'll spend on her, and what you'll change for her and so on. The good news is, if she didn't really love you she wouldn't care about these things so much. Don't freak out because she's being a little controlling, but do choose how much you want to give, and try to find middle ground, Also, if she does something that you really disagree with, don't hesitate to take the same road with her.
2006-07-14 23:42:15 · answer #3 · answered by !!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It definitely sounds that way. You should certainly think long and hard about her before making the step to marriage. If it's this bad now, it would probably be a lot worse after you're married. She needs to learn to compromise and respect you as a person and your opinions. Relationships are a two-way street and she's cruising solo down a one-way street. Give AND take, not take take take. Good luck :)
2006-07-15 00:09:31 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes, definitely controlling. She has way too much power in your relationship. It takes two to be in a relationship, and so far, it looks like she's the only one calling the shots. Talk to her and tell you how you feel, and if this doesn't work, put your foot down, make a decision for a change. Hopefully, she won't take offense to that, and will be willing to listen and work on it.
2006-07-14 23:41:50 · answer #5 · answered by Maico 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uhm ya she is controlling and wants to live a rich life. Amarriage and relationships for that fact is 50/50. I would talk to her and tell her these concerns and give her a chance to respond. If it is still that way well hun i am soory i would leave the relationship and move on you dont want to live in those conditions it is means for disaster. Good luck
2006-07-14 23:44:49 · answer #6 · answered by sht4brains4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, she is worse than I am!! You should sit her down...are you guys in pre marital counseling? I think you guys should consider that, seems thatshe is not willing to change her life.
That could be a bad sign! Good luck.
2006-07-14 23:45:33 · answer #7 · answered by Gothic Martha™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
damn man, she really squeezing your balls off. Tell her to shape up or ship out. No woman is worth all that sh*t. If you marry her, you're gonna hate yourself the rest of your life.
2006-07-15 00:34:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really think there is much more that she could possibly tell you to do? She needs to relax and let you help decide when and where to do things and where to live, etc. etc. etc.
2006-07-15 21:53:59 · answer #9 · answered by purpleride 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't sound like she respects you or she would not treat you this way. ask yourself if you love her and can put up with this for the rest of your life. if not then end it now and move on.
2006-07-14 23:40:58 · answer #10 · answered by TAZ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋