Need help w/Terrible Two's..?

Question

OMG, my little guy is 22 months, apparently somewhere in the last week or so a 'switch' turned on and holy crap, whiny, mischevious, defiant, adventurous, shall I go on. I think I have the 2-yr old 'male' version of PMS......Please tell me that I am not alone. He is also a very bad sleeper, always has been. Any suggestions will do.

Answer 1

Totally normal. I think my son started at about 19 months. He is 2. I found that distraction, time out, taking toys away, and lots of love work wonders. You are the boss. You set the rules. Also, be sure to give yourself a break once in a while. Have someone else watch your son, so you can shop or even go out to eat in peace.

Answer 2

Lots of activities during the day would help. Playing games, riding his tricycle, playing hide and seek, pool time or walks in summer, making a snowman in winter---with other children, if possible---might help.

Regular schedules are a must.

Be firm about the whining and make sure he knows it doesn't work with you. If he whines, he doesn't get the reward for good behavior, the favorite thing to do, whatever. If he does behave well, the reward comes his way.

He will challenge you, as 2 year olds aren't long-term thinkers, but if he can go for longer and longer times without whining, he may get to do something special.

"No" is not a word you accept from him. He has probably just learned the power of the word, so he will use it often---so must you. And mean it! Be firm, but kind.

Climbing is not acceptable, neither is jumping on the bed. If he attempts something that may hurt him, like climbing on chairs to reach cabinets or touching a hot stove, explain how it can hurt him. He doesn't forsee consequences yet, he's learning them as you teach them.

And, though some may disagree, it doesn't hurt for Mommy to take a couple of hours away from Little Boy to get a refreshing break. She will be a better Mommy for it because she is not stressed. Find a good babysitter or family member to help you assist you when you need a break. Family support is also a very good thing, especially if they've got experience with the Terrible Two's.

Answer 3

Ok, Miss, I gave the following answer last night for a child who wasn't sleeping well, maybe this will help the sleeping:
If you don't already have one, create a soothing bedtime routine that starts about 2 hours before bedtime:

Quiet play
Warm and soothing bath
Cuddle up in jammies
Cup of milk
Brush teeth
2 bedtime stories
Quiet talk with the lights out
Kiss goodnight

However, during the day, you'll need to set out the rules, and tell him that you must sleep too, and when he wakes up, you will check on him the first time only (to make sure he doesn't have a fever, hasn't vomitted, messy diaper, etc.). Do not hold him. In a soothing voice, remind him that all is well, you love him and you are going back to bed. You won't sleep the first night--he's going to scream. It's ok--let him tire himself out.

As for the unruly part--you are not alone. As his age changes, so will behavior, and you'll have to adapt, but here are some suggestions:

Choices: Do you want to have a warm bath or a cold bath tonight? Do you want to go to bed with a story or without? Do you want to wear your coat or carry it? Do you want your milk in the red cup or the blue cup? You see, "no" won't work in response to any of these. Then, set a rule: ask twice, and if he doesn't choose, YOU WILL. Then do it.

Assertiveness: Instead of snapping with a consequence if he backtalks (or any other misbehavior), buy yourself some time. Say, "Jordan, I don't like the way you are talking to me. It makes me not want to be around you." You haven't issued any ultimatums, and you just bought yourself some time to figure out what to do. If he stops, you don't have to do anything. Whenever you can, insert your feelings into the comment--it will teach him empathy: "Jordan, your words hurt my feelings and make me feel sad."

Say Yes more often: "I want a cookie!" And you say, "Yes, later." Now, if he asks again in 30 seconds, you can say, "Yes, later," again, or you can say, "Okay, now." Either way, you are keeping your word. Another method (which might be better for older kids) is, "If you need the answer right now, it's no. If you can give me some time to think about it, it might be yes."

And, LISTEN. You probably think I'm crazy, but very few toddlers are really listened to. Devote time every day to put aside everything else you're doing and thinking about, and LISTEN to him. Rephrase the things he says and say them back to him to prove you are listening. Most children listen best when they are listened to.

There are two books that I really recommend: Kids Are Worth It (Barbara Colorusso) and Love and Logic (Jim Fay and Foster Kline). They will help you creatively deal with your children, while preserving your relationship with them and the real joy in parenting. Best of luck.

Answer 4

My suggestion is bear with him, but now also even earlier so, but now you need to set limits of the being mischievous, and the whining. These particular things are all a part of what two year olds do, and you need to be firm yet patient. His brain is still growing and the process of certain thoughts are just acted out without knowledge of consequence. He is expressing himself the only way a toddler brain can to an adult. So love, understanding, patience will help him develop into the young respectable man you want him to be. It takes a lot of time, but that time will rush by so quickly. So in the end just be grateful he is young, healthy, and you're able to enjoy this beautiful life you helped to create.

Answer 5

Take up everything and have a room with a TV and toys.... This was the age everything I had got broken.. It's hard and it will pass. I use to pop my kids on the hand when they did wrong and you have to get control and it's so hard because they are tiny and cute. Not spanking but letting them know your in control. Little light pops.
I used TV anything for help. Sometimes mine would watch TV and stay calm for 30 mins. Which is heaven.... You will have to find what calm him down and go from there. I wish you luck and he is normal and you will be OK. Might not have all your hair but you'll be fine.
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Answer 6

Structure is the key. He needs to be on some type of schedule. Eating breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner and falling asleep at the same time for naps and bed everyday. You also need to let him know that you are the boss and must obey the rules even though he is two.

Answer 7

It will get worse before it gets better, wait till he's three. When my son turned 3 the "terrible two's" seemed like a piece of cake. He got better right before he turned 4. Hang in there.

Answer 8

You MUST discipline him!!He has to know that he has to go to bed and go to sleep.Play hard with him so it will tire him out,and make him sleepy.As far as the other problems go,give it your best guess!!! I have three children the first two were no peice of cake!!!The third is only 7 months old!

Answer 9

you know what my mom did? (and it worked!)
she would write "no crying day" or "be nice to your brother day" or "no throwing day" on the calendar we had by our phone...and each morning, she would show me and my brother the days, which she wrote on a lot, haha, and tell us slowly and very, very seriously that we had to not do any of those things...that something bad would happen...
and we didnt do anything that was on there! we were scared...haha...so she was like, the luckiest mom, cause she knew we wouldnt do them...so she had a good "2" time with us...you might want to try it!
good luck!
:)

Answer 10

My son just got through the terrible 2's. I bet you want me to say that 3 is better. LOL! I really can't. 3's are SOOOO much worse. Sorry.