I have a friend who is 14 and was sexually abused and doesn't deal with it well, just kinda buries it. Any ideas how to best help im through it, without causing more harm?
2006-07-14 16:21:13 · 5 answers · asked by Giovanni 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
As a female and also a sexual abuse survivor, I see how guys deal with it totally differently. Also, if it helps at all he was abused by a guy.
2006-07-14 16:40:47 · update #1
Sadly I have encountered this problem myself and there are so many aspects you can and should talk to him about. Or even better try to get him to talk to a professional. Some areas to talk about would be
1. It feels as though your body has betrayed you because you don't want your body to respond sexually but you are created as a sexual being so it does and in that sense you are angry with your own body.
2. What you feel in your heart is not what your body felt. In other words the sexual acts that were done to him were not done out of love which is where they were created to come from.
3. He may be feeling as though he is gay inside and even though he is not the abuse can make him feel like he is b/c his body may have responded to the touching etc.
4. The longer he keeps the secret inside and not getting everything straigt in his head the longer the abuser has control over him and his mind. It's like living in a prison and constanly fighting off the "boogy man" every day. The more he talks about it and works through his feelings the more he can over come his pain. It's better he work through it now than when he is in his 30's or older and wondering why every relationship in his life hasn't worked out.
5. He needs constant reasurance that it was NOT his fault. Over and over again for as long as it takes.
I hope some of this helps I could really go on forever about it but I will pray for him. I don't know if he is Christian or what but if you have a Bible please have him read Psalm 10. It really helped me and my brother a lot . God Bless
P.S. Ronald Reagan's son I think his name is Michael wrote a book about it b/c it happened to him. I read it but I gave it away so I can't give you the exact name of it but it was really good and insightful. If you do a search for his name I'm sure you will find it.
2006-07-14 16:40:11 · answer #1 · answered by Happychick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry Bud... He has to know it wasn't his fault. He was the Victim... It will take time.. The scars will be there forever. he will just have to go on with life. .And know that not all people are like the abuser. Good luck..
2006-07-14 16:27:14 · answer #2 · answered by ole_lady_93 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does he know it wasnt his fault?
its hard but as time goes by hopefully fears will pass.
as a female who was sexually assaulted 2 times in the same year its horrible. over time i forgot about it i guess.
i felt like it was my fault for being around those people who i trusted most.
now i know how sick they are and one is in jail.
i never told anyone besides a girl friend of mine. not the cops either.
to me its embarrasing and because i didnt go to the hospital i thought people would say i was a liar about it
so i guess as time goes by we tend to block things out.,
2006-07-14 17:20:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
unless hes suicidal let him be
wot means doesn't deal with well
to bury a issue is not always wrong
get help if real concern
2006-07-14 16:30:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would encourage him to seek counseling because burying the hurt and pain will only make it worse.
2006-07-14 16:30:22 · answer #5 · answered by Ang_Bluestones 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋