My mother is in a bad relationship and wont leave the man...she is being mentally and emotionally abuses.?

Question

I try to listen to her but alot of the times lately i get mad at her for staying with him and tell her to leave him...but then she gets mad at me for suggesting that, what shall i do i feel so helpless and dont want to see her waste her life away, she is a great person with alot of give and is kind...but she wont wake up !!!! Help me understand

Answer 1

if he is abusing her report him!

Answer 2

You really do not say much about your mother so I will fill in the blanks and if I am wrong I'm sorry. I am assuming your mom is probably in her 40's and is either not working or she works for very minimal wages. Chances are she is afraid to try and make it on her own. In some people's minds they are either getting treated the way they deserve or they have gotten so use to it they see things allot differently then those around them do. You can do nothing, mom has to want to leave and all you can do is be supportive. When your mom calls go running and just listen offer little in the way of advice just lend an ear. She will wake up someday if you can help her see her potential. If she is a people person then compliment her as much as possible and try to mention that going back to school to further her education will be a positive move on her part. As soon as she starts to feel good about herself and her possible future she will start to look at her relationship and probably make changes there to. As they say slow and steady wins the race, so be patient and stand by mom. Take care and good luck

Answer 3

Maybe you and your mother could both use some counseling. You for trying to cope with listening to her talk about what she's obviously not ready to change, and her for being in an unhealthy relationship and being afraid to let go. A lot of women feel as though they'll be incomplete without a man in their life, even if he does abuse them. However, usually after counseling and some work on self esteem women can turn around and take charge of their lives again. Only after they admit that they have a problem and become willing to do something about that problem can they be given the help that they really need.

Answer 4

It's difficult when someone you care about is in an abusive relationship, and its normal for you to become aggravated with her situation.
The best thing you could do is to be there for her and offer your support. Inform yourself as much as possible to give her the best information possible. Contact you local DV shelter or program and find out what resources are available. Many places offer shelter programs, aid in getting public assistance, or community support groups and individual counseling services most of the time with no charge to the victim. Find out what the process is for getting an exparte so when she is able to go do it she can have a friendly face go with her, because the system is often intimidating.
Some statistics say that an abused woman will attempt to leave or actually leave and return 14 times before they are successful. But each time they gain new power and resources making the eventual split easier.

Answer 5

Your Mom is in Love with the man, anyone try to break them off, is consider as enemy even that you are close to her. There is a saying if you can't win them joint them, use this technic. First you must behave to except the man too. Then cosider to tell her about the good and the bad point, have some open question let her ans. your question. Like now you and your mom is living happily if a 3rd person come in to your family life will it still be the same better off and even worst sleepless night? Have to watch out when you sleep at night. Will she care for you any more. Will he be staying with you all in the future? How about your dad is he ok to share his woman or your mom can she share his husband with another woman?

Answer 6

Your mom's partner is controlling her. He has led your mom to believe that she is nothing without him and his love. If there is violence or other negative behavior when you are with your mom, call the police. And keep calling the police until either he gets help or leaves you mom alone. What you need to do for the safety of your mom is the following:
I would suggest that you tell your mom the following, "I love you very much and I worry about you. No matter what you decide, I am going to be here for you. If you ever want to leave, you can come to me for help." Then I would create a safety plan with your mom. I would get her to leave extra keys, clothes, money, and important papers at your house or someone else's house. Create a code word or phrase with your mom that if somethine bad is happening at her house that she can call you and you will know to call the police. Teach her children safety also, such as leaving the room when the parents fight. Often times, children get hurt as a result of someone throwing something or trying to protect their mom. When and if you mom leaves she needs to take the following with her:
Drivers License/State ID
Birth Certifcate
Children's Birth Certificate*
Social Security Cards
Passports
Green Card*
Work Permit*
Money
Check Book*
Medication
Medical records/immunizations
House and Car keys
Lease/house deed
Car Title
Insurance Papers
Divorce Papers*
Protection Orders*
School Records*
Welfare Identification*
Addess Book
Photographs
children's favorite toys*
Clothes

*may not apply



I hope this helps. If you need anymore information please feel free to contact me.


Please realize that it takes a woman an AVERAGE of 7 times to leave an abuser before not going back any more. Also there might come a time when he does not allow her to contact you, please don't let this turn your back on her. She needs to know that you are going to be there no matter what.

Answer 7

Sounds like she has a self-esteem problem. She is probably worried that if she leaves him, she won't find anyone else. Either that or he has convinced her that nobody else will want her.

The best way to help her is to do things to help improve her self-esteem. Have her go out with you (alone) ... take her to get her hair and nails done, have her read the book - the 10 stupid things women do to mess up their lives

When she starts complaining about him, tell her how great she is and tell her how much you appreciate her -

It will happen but she HAS to be the one who wants to leave.

Answer 8

Ok well first you need god literally to make it out of there i am Christian and i know someone like that but anyway i think you should tell the cops your situation even if your mom hates you for it because you are looking out for her and you did the right thing and maybe one day she will see what you did for her was good and she dont need the abuse

Answer 9

Although she is not acting like one, she is an adult. There is not a whole lot you can do, she has to wake up and smell the coffee. Don't stay in the home if he is a danger to you, this is her choice not yours. Good Luck in this hard time.

Answer 10

I dont know how old you are, but if your underage, I suggest you contact if another relative and child services. If your over 18, I would talk to your mother. I would hope she chooses you over her abusive boyfriend.

Answer 11

Tell her to get out. Women have been beaten and even murdered by these abusive men. She needs to find love within herself, as well as the courage to get out.