Why is it that shy guys are not capable of getting a girlfriend?

Question

I am a shy guy and I strongly feel I will be rejected, so that's why I even fear talking to women. I don't want to be hurt.

Answer 1

If you never talk to a woman...how are you going to get a girlfriend? Do you think she's going to walk up to you and start a relationship from nothing?

You should just suck it up and try it one day - once you do - you'll see it's not that hard to talk to someone. Then it will get easier each time.

Here's a trick to meeting people - look at every potential date as just a friend. I mean...you can always use a friend right? So every person you meet is a potential friend - there's no pressure to be more than that. After all, you might not like that person once you get to know them, right?

If someone rejects you from the beginning - then you can walk off and realize that it's their loss. They don't know you - they don't know anything about you - so why let their lack of interest hurt you? They could be rejecting you for reasons that have nothing to do with you - they could be having a bad day, you might not be their type, they might be involved with someone. Big deal...they just made your job easier and went ahead and weeded theirself out before you spent money and time on a boring date.

Answer 2

" I rather have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all." Life is about taking chances. SO WHAT if u get rejected. U have to get up and try again. Most of the time the reason u are rejected doesn't have anything to do with u. I reject attractive men just about everyday just because I am not looking for a boyfriend right now. There is someone out there for every one. U might have to go through 10 refections before u find the girl for u. " Good things come to those who wait." Just be patient and remember: " If it doesn't kill u, it will make u stronger."

Answer 3

I used to be shy too.

1) Women want a guy who is assertive (because an assertive guy will protect her). Shy guys are seen as weak.

2) Women also think that if you are too shy to talk to her, you must either be rude or not interested.

3) Women think that shyness is a lack of self confidence (Which, to her, implies that you are doing something wrong -- that's why you have a hard time getting to know people.). Self-confidence is seen as sexy; lack of self confidence is not sexy.

4) Women assume that if you are shy, then you must be desperate for a girl (Because shy guys don't attract many people.). Desperate is seen as clingy and is a turn-off.

I'm not done yet, stay tuned ....

Might be a few reasons that you are nervous: (1) you are unprepared; (2) you put too much emphasis on being successful with one particular person; or, (3) you don't understand women enough to know how they will react.

As for (1), try sitting down with a paper and pencil, in your free time, and writing down common suituations where you have difficulty. Think of what you would say and do if these things happened. That way you will have the right words at the right time (Instead of having the right words come to you later after it is too late.).

As for (2), tell yourself that the opinion of just one person doesn't matter. If the first person whom you speak to doesn't like you, remind yourself that someone else will. There ARE nice people out there who will like you if you keep talking to different people and don't give up. Treat rejection as if it wasn't any big deal; after all, if she doesn't take the time to get to know you, it is her loss since she missed out on getting to know someone as nice as you. If she was rude, she did you a favor by getting rid of you, because now you won't waste your time talking to, or thinking about, her. You can immediately move on to someone else. If you act confident, sooner or later you will feel confident.

As for (3), that's complicated. Steady eye contact, slow movement, and good posture indicate confidence. if you look away from someone the moment that she looks at you (even from across the room), she will think that you lack confidence, and she will assume that your lack of confidence indicates that you are bad with relationships.

It also helps to have a sense of humor. Some guys who are good at meeting women will often open up by making a funny comment on what she is looking at, or some small thing that she is wearing (in good taste, of course), like she was an old acquaintance whom you haven't seen in awhile. The key here is to act as if she was an old friend (I.E.: act as if you already know that she will like you). If you act nervous, she will be too. If you act comfortable around her, then she will feel comfortable around you.

And it wouldn't hurt to hang out with the guys that you know who seem to be good with relationships, and ask them for pointers and/or suggestions on how you can improve yourself.

Answer 4

that is not true about shy guys not being capable, because i know lots of girls who like guys more on the quiet side. i don't like loud and rowdy guys, so I'm pretty sure you will find someone who except you the way you are. but it is still always good for you to open up a little, because life is too short to be acting shy. have some fun and open up.

Answer 5

i dont think you are shy, i think you are afraid...afraid of exposing your true feelings and being 'hurt' rejected. rejection is normal , i think its a process part of growing but its how you deal with it that says a lot.you have to risk being hurt in order to overcome your problem..whats the worst that could happen if a women told you she doesnt love/like you...?keep moving

Answer 6

You should just take a chance, you never know until you try. Go for it, it won't be that bad, there are alot of people out there, someone is out there for you.

Answer 7

They don't have confidence. So there for instead of going out to look for girls by yourself go with some friends and you will have a boost of confidence to get it out of the way.


thats what I use to do.

Answer 8

that's why shy people don't get girls'