How do I handle my husband dying of liver disease at age 48?

Question

My husband will die if he doesn't receive a new liver by October. He is only 48 and we have children from other marriages. His friends don't come to visit him because of the way he looks. All my friends have given up on him and have nt called or come by either. I am worried about his daughter. Has anyone had to deal with anything similar?

Answer 1

My dear, I have nothing similar in my life, but I want you to know that I care about you and your husband, and I am very sorry. I would suggest that you call his so-called friends and let them know that he needs them now if he ever needed them. You are both in my thoughts. Love each other.

Answer 2

Sounds horrible! I know someone who's husband died young, probably in his fortys. He was a pastor, but don't give up yet. Pray hard! Maybe he'll get his liver. If not, I guess all you can do is be a blessing to his daughter and help care for her if she's young or just be there if she's a little older. The lady that was married to the pastor was a teacher and she is doing fine now. Her children are grown and they're doing alright also. Time heals all wounds, but don't break out the bandaids just yet. For now, just keep the faith. It's what your husband needs most besides the liver. It will keep him encouraged.

Answer 3

My husband had a Liver transplant 1 1/2 years ago. Yes,I do know what you are going through. We lived day by day for a long time. He was on full life support for three weeks and it was the toughest thing I have ever endured. Bless you and your family. If I can help or you need someone to share your thoughts or troubles with... maybe I can help. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Answer 4

I am so sorry about your husband...he is so young..It is at this time that you truly know who your friends are and I would try to gather the family around you and your husband. It does put so much of the pressure and stress on you..but I would make some phone calls to his friends and family and tell them how important it is for your husband to be surrounded by positive friends and family and that could help him deal with his burden..We often pull away when we are not comfortable with our feelings and have nothing to say..you won't get everyone to come back to you but hopefully some of your family or friends will return to you because they love you and your husband and want to support you..let them know you need them.

Answer 5

i've seen dying liver patients. it's a bummer. even with a new liver, he will suffer until he heals from the surgery & if his body does not reject it. not to be mean, but u really need to learn to accept & prepare just in case he does not make it. i'm not saying give up...i'm saying be supportive, try new methods, but at the same time prepare for his passing. (like setting up living trusts- wills are awful, seeing what he wishes for his funeral or what some of his thoughts are for his children...) do that before he loses his sanity...which will happen in the final stage. if he is still mobile & alert, do special things with him...things u both have always wanted to do. i think death becomes even more difficult for the living when the living have regrets on how they should've treated them or things they didn't say or do. by the way, if it comes to a point where he is comatose, totally yellow, test results are way wacky, and he stops breathing...try to find the strength to let him go and don't ask doctors to revive him...it's also torture for him to try to live like that.
when it comes to ur daughter...try and see what she is thinking. ask her what she likes to do with daddy and help her understand. in situations like this, it helps if u believe in a god...maybe god needs him for something really important or maybe this way everyone has a chance to say goodbye (unlike car crashes).

Answer 6

not actually but my mom died of breast cancer when i was fourteen and it was really hard if no one else stay by his side you still be there for him you kno he needs all the support he can tell him you are there with him and pray. Yes I am a kid still but believe me I know what I am talking about tell his daughter everything is all right tell his friends that he needs them hopefully he can get a transplant and be recovering in no time but i will pray for you and please follow my advice it will help you a lot put it all in Gods hands he'll work it out

Answer 7

You need to speak to the doctor and ask if he is a candidate for Hospice. I am a former Hospice nurse and there is so much support that you will be able to get in dealing with everything.

Answer 8

No...not exactly...I am sorry that you are going through this and sorry to hear he is too. Hang in there and pray incessently.
I dont know how one handles it when their mate dies. I hope you can find some help.
My best wishes to you.
Ps. Talk to a Jehovahs Witness they can offer some hope to you from the bible about dead loved ones.

Answer 9

It's so strange that you would ask this question today, on July 14th. Today is the third anniversary of my little brother's death. He died of liver cancer at 8:32pm, 3 years ago, tonight. In fact, it's 8:30pm right now.

My Brother was 43 when he died. He left a wonderful wife of 22 years and three beautiful and sweet daughters. They were the most wonderful family and spent a lot of time together and with the extended family. He coached his girl's sports teams and he and his wife kept their romance alive, all those years, as fresh as the day they got married. His death was so tragic for them.

He had the same problem. He lost over 100 pounds and looked like a skeleton with skin stretched over it. When his liver quit processing correctly, he began to retain fluid, which settled in his feet and legs and swelled them to bursting. He was truly a pitiful sight.

Some of his friends couldn't bear the sight and quit coming by, but we, as a family, filled his home, and later, his hospital room with love, companionship, and even laughter. He was often the one who started everyone giggling. Soon, word spread of his enormous courage and good cheer in the face of all odds and his home and room were running over with friends, aquaintences, family and well-wishers of every walk of life.

He lived right up to the minute he died. Two weeks before he died he took my sister-in-law on their last romantic weekend alone at their camp on beautiful Lake Sam Rayburn in Southeast, Texas. He chose to be positive, upbeat, and never one time gave in to self-pity or sadness. He filled his last days with hugs, kisses, and warm wishes for everyone he knew. I suffer from chronic back pain and every morning when he called and I asked how he was feeling, he would say "Great!" followed by "How's your back?"

My Brother was a phenomenal man. He was a loving, attentive and romantic husband. He was a tender and caring father to his three girls. He was an inspirational coach to hundreds of young girls in the softball leagues in our town. He was a considerate, obedient and loving son to my parents. He was the most wonderful brother a girl ever could have had. He was my best friend as a child, my partner in crime when we were teenagers, a trusted friend and mentor as an adult, and one of the two people I miss most in the world.

More than that, he was a source of inspiration to all of his caregivers. To this day, people look at my last name and ask if he is my brother. Everyone talks of his courage and the way he faced his death and how he lived up to the minute he died.

I have a growth in my throat that may be cancer. I haven't told anyone about it yet. I don't want to worry my parents or children. If it does turn out to be bad, I am going to do my best to follow the example my brother set and never let this get me down. I am going to live fully until the minute I draw my last breath.

My heart and my prayers are with you. I cannot imagine the loss and pain you are already feeling. I, along with every member of my family, am an organ donor. I urge everyone I know to consider giving this gift of life to others. Enjoy your husband while you have him. Squeeze every minute of joy out of each and every day. Talk long and late. Look into each other's eyes because the eyes are the windows of the soul and though the body may wither with age or disease, the eyes never change. Make peace with God and those around you. Conserve your strength so you can be there for him. If a liver does not come in time, there will be forever to rest. (That's what my sister-in-law told me when I asked her how she could handle being with him 24/7 and giving him her undivided attention. She said she was trying to get enough of him to last her the rest of her life.)

If you want to keep in touch, you can.

Answer 10

God is key. He made you. He loves more than youll ever know. Life is too short to frett. when the time is right, talk to your kids about how sometimes you cant do things on your own. tell them god is key. tell yourself god is key.