I'm Muslim and my fiance is Jewish. We want to get married, but our parents won't let us. What should we do

Answer 1

You can get married...if you're both consenting adults they can't stop you, if you live in the USA anyway. It may be a hardship and there may be heartache if your families don't approve, but if you feel very strongly about it, follow your heart and do what you think is right. You can't help you love, you're not meant to. Good luck with everything.

Answer 2

Your parent's aren't the ones marrying your fiance, and his parents aren't marrying you. Regardless of what traditions you may have been raised to accept, NO ONE has the right to determine how, when, why, and whom others should marry. If your parents don't approve of your marrying a Jewish person, or if his parents don't approve of him marrying you, a Muslim, then it's time for you to determine just how important it is that you marry one another and act accordingly. Leave your respective families if that's what it takes to marry the person you love. You can still love your family and care for them, but it is now a matter of marital safety that you are dealing with, and in that light, it doesn't really matter if you love or hate your families, they're still the same threat.

Your families DID their jobs when they raised you. They gave you everything that you need in order to make it on your own. You are adults now, and though you may be close to your families and close to the traditions that they hold dear, you are still adults and it's time for you to embrace that. You parents don't have to make decisions for you any more. You can make decisions on your own.

Your fiance is your new family. You don' t need the old ones--at least not in the same way.

So having said this, I think that it would be in your best interests to go elsewhere together--to neutral territory, so to speak: another country, especially one of the more liberal member- nations of the European Union...the United States...Canada...heck, go to Barbados, the weather is good there!

Ultimately, the main point though is to consider your situation. If you love each other, and your families say that they love you, then it should never occur to your families to put you in a situation in which you have to choose between them and your fiance. Anyone who demands that you make that kind of a choice is demanding that you cut yourself in half, and ultimately, that's not going to do anything other than kill a part of you. So my advice (and it could actually be wrong advice here) is to remove yourself from the situation all together. Look into marriage and immigration to some place where your families cannot bring harm to your relationship or you.

Answer 3

Well you chose the worst time for this kind of arrangements.

I say if you are older than 18 leave and go to a country where you won't be killed for leaving and disobeying yr parents on this account.

Both of you leave and get married if you can and are of the age to be allowed to do it.

If you are underage, maybe you should consider that yr parents may know why they don't want you to marry each other. You may love eahc other right now but what if the entire world of differences between the two families and religions and traditions break you i n the long run? are you prepared for that one? to deal with all the differences?

Good luck.

I am sorry for all the loves that cant bloom because of the religious and political differences.

Answer 4

I don't know much about the Muslim or Jewish religions, faiths or customs so I won't give any advice or opinion but the first thing that came to my mind when I read your question was a question for you. Have you given any thought or decided how your children would be raised? Will they be Muslim or Jewish?

Answer 5

Asalaam Alykum,
Sister, it is Haram for a Muslim woman to marry a man that is not Muslim. So the question you have to ask yourself is, do you leave not only your religion but also your family.
Your family has every right not to except this marriage because they know what is the risk if you do.
If you marry him you will be Khafir.
Sorry to be so blunt.

Fi Amen Allah

Answer 6

How old are you? You have one life. . . And, that life requires that you negotiate your own future. . .Meaning: Don't allow your parents to live through you. You are all different for a reason. If you wish to get married, then you should do just that. There will always be social and cultural ramifications, but if both of you are prepared to face those together, come what may. . it will all be fine.

Answer 7

Get married without their permission and set an example to millions out there that Muslims and Jews can get along very well!!!

Answer 8

So what your Muslim and hes Jewish go for it. And show them 25 rears later it can work.

Answer 9

Seems to me, the time to have asked this question was before, not after, becoming engaged. Engagement is announcing your intention to marry. If you're intending to marry, why are you asking this question, now?

I do not believe in your parents choosing your spouse for you; but, once you have made your choice, I DO believe in gaining their consent before marrying. It's called honoring thy mother and father. One of the 10 commandments. One does not just marry a person; in reality, they marry the family. If the family is not united, eventually the couple will become disunited.

Since your parents raised the two of you, they know their offspring better than anyone else, and know what your character is, and what kind of character would be a good match for you.

Tell your parents you promise not to marry without their consent, and tell them you will be only friends, but that you want them to know your love's character. Give them a year to see that you are dead serious about that, and give them the opportunity to know you, only, as friends. It will give them the opportunity to know your characters. Pray together as families--the 6 of you, for one year, for a solution. I believe after a year of observing the characters of each of you, if they find you both to be of good character, that they would rather you marry each other than any of their own religion; but, of lesser character.

You may, even, find, after a year of investigating one another's character, that you don't wish to marry. The point is, all 6 of you put the decision in the hands of God. If God wants this marriage, He has the power to change your parents' hearts. If He does not want this marriage, it won't happen; and it will be God's answer, not your parents. And you will be better off knowing that God has someone else, more suitable, in His eyes, for you. Trust in Him. He is the miracle worker. This is a good safeguard; to make sure you're marrying the right one. I know the Jews believe that each of us has an intended one--b'sherit; and this is a good way to find out if you are the ones God intended for one another. If not, why would you want it? We only have tunnel vision. God sees the big picture.

I know of two couples who did this and got consent. One was a a she,black/he, white couple. All 4 parents were against the inter-racial marriage. At the end of the year, with EVeryone praying for them, all 4 parents gave their consent. They were so impressed that the couple would honor their parents rather than marry their love, that they gave their consent. Now, they have two beautiful children.

The other couple were both Native-American Indians belonging to tribes who had had a history of warring against each other. The couple decided to honor their parents and waited and prayed for one year. All their friends prayed for and with them. Both tribes were so impressed with the fact that they would not marry without their parents consent, that the parents not only gave their consent at the end of the year, but it had the effect of uniting the two tribes, who had had a history of enmity. This is the power of unity, and the power of God.

Of course the ideal answer would be for all of you to look into the Baha'i Faith, where people of all cultures, nationalities, races, and religious backgrounds intermarry, successfully, every day, because we believe there is only one religion--the religion of the one God, and we're all members of it.

Answer 10

Ask your parents why they dont want you to marry him. if your fiance agrees to be a muslim and your parents agree 4 u to marry him then go ahead but if he doesnot dont marry him. he is not yours. am a muslim too and i will not advise u to marry against your religion. you can mail me for more advice. pls listen to your parents they would not lead you astray