Moms only! How do you deal with serious stress??

Question

Within the past 24hrs, I've literally felt like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. My kids are probably all thats stopping me. But how long does it take to just "lose it"?

I have a debilitating back injury which prevents me from work, my marriage is falling apart, I go back to school in a month, and our household income has been literally cut in half in the last two months. We were already living on a strict budget before. My dog keeps running away and I can't fix the fence myself and he's been caught by animal control once, if caught again, the fine doubles. My son is starting kindergarten and Im taking the kids to doctors, dentists, school registrations, juggling all the bills with a husband who demands that his be priority, then I have the house to clean, grocery shopping and three meals a day to prepare. Oh yeah, laundry, baths, storytime, bedtime and attention for the dog and cat that I've been tripping over! And my doctor says that I need to avoid any bending or lifting!

AHHHHH!!!!!

Answer 1

Only other fellow mothers know how hard it really can be! The husbands always think we're exaggerating!!
And it's not until they are all in bed, safely, that you can truly exhale and relax. It shouldn't be like that, but unfortunately the demands of everyday life with multiple children take precedence over everything else. Grocery shopping with more than one child? It's a nightmare, let alone not having ANY time to yourself ALL day. I'm not complaining, just agreeing with the amount of stress you described.

Answer 2

Honey you need to sit down and prioritize everything. That's the only way I can deal when things get out of hand like you are saying they are right now. Not everything can be done always. First start with what can't be helped.... yes you have to pay the bills, and feed the kids, etc...but you don't have to push yourself by preparing huge meals, go simple instead. The dog...OK, you can't fix the fence, but you can tie him up until the fence gets fixed..or keep him in the house, or garage or whatever . I've had that same problem with my dog (he jumped the fence tho-cleared it, at 6 ft)...

Anyway....I've been there done that as far as getting stressed and I used to literally lock myself in the bathroom and cry. Sounds stupid, but it helped...then I just came to realize that it didn't matter if I did the laundry every single day or not..it didn't matter if I made huge dinners every day....It didn't matter if the toys stayed on the floor over night... The kids are only that small for a very short time, and I didn't want to spend it crying in a locked bathroom. Now that my crew is older they help more and life is getting back to normal..some what. lol But it definitely is a lot better than just 4-5 years ago!!!

Answer 3

Since you obviously can't afford to take care of the dog or the cat I suggest you either giving them to loving homes that can take care of it or an animal shelter where they can see to it the pets get good homes. Since I don't know the reasons your marriage is falling apart I can't help with that. Get the kids to help you clean house when they are home. Hand them dust cloths and brooms put on some music that they enjoy and ALLOW them to help. Don't be picky about they way they do it just let them do it. As for your husband, tell him to "jump in a lake" that the houshold bills get paid FIRST, then the children are taken care of and IF there is any left over then you divide it between the two of you. If he doesn't like that idea show him the door. He has responsibilities and if he doesn't want to take care of them then he is no use to you or them. At least you'll be able to file for child support. Since your income is low why not look into medicaid or some other state sponsored low cost health insurance for your children. All states have them...The only thing is that YOU have to contact them.

Answer 4

is there anyone-- a close friend, family member, teenager in the neighborhood who could watch the kids for you for just a few hours. When I have reached my limit, I call my mom and she'll take the kids for me. I'll take a long shower ( I know it a luxury for moms) maybe do my nails, make-up, go for a walk on the beach. go to lunch with a friend or sometimes I just sleep.

Is there a teenage boy in the neighborhood who could help you fix the fence?? They like to do those types of jobs for little money. Pay a kid in the neighbor to take your dog for a walk.( or use it for an excuse to get out of the house).

You need to sit your husband down and tell him that you can't do it all. He needs to help you somehow. For some reason men tend to think stay at home moms just sit around all day, watching tv and eating bon bons. (If they only knew)

I wish you all the best of luck in the future. Being at home all day everyday, is a demanding job and not everyone can do it, so congrats for doing it this long. Take care.

Answer 5

hun is wish i new sounds like a normal day here.
one day skip some things if can and but kids and husban to bed go lock your self in bathroom take a long hot bath and read
light about 6 candles or so turn off the light and just soak those troubles away pluse go to a massage school for a hour massage cost 25.oo i do this once a month and it really helps alot. good luck just a 18 yrs and the kids will move off and you will have to find something to do like my mother (its usely how to run my home)lol o yea foot massage only 12.oo check into it as for the back well we are moms how in the world can we get throw a day with out bending and lifting. plus get kids to help out around house. and ask hubby to help when he can we know he is tired from working but at least give him a few little jobs

Answer 6

Oh honey bunny sounds tough. Look I have three girls and the only thing that works for us is team work. You can;t possibly be expected to do it all ask for help. I'm sure you love your dog but face it ... it's one more mouth to feed and one more soul to worry about and if you can't get your laundry done how can you have time to play with him not to mention the fine from his escape. I'd find him a new home. And as far as the household stuff try making yourself a schedule. On Mondays I do laundry, Tuesday morning we go grocery shopping and etc. and look with a plate as full as yours who cares if it doesn't get done your only one person and to try and stretch yourself so thin can and will make you have a breakdown. Get hubby to help he can cook once a week it's not gonna kill him. Good luck and try to relax. :)

Answer 7

Fisrt I smoke that helps me, 2nd wake up in the morning (way)before anyone else take a hot shower, start laundry push the basket with your feet to the machine, listen to music wile you work at home, make the lunches the night before, get groceries while everyone is asleep, find out how your dog gets out and block the exit on the other side with tree stumps, have you kids help you out make it fun and rewarding, and if they are ever bad they can do the yuck chores like cleaning toilets, that way house work still gets done. Not really sure to help with the old man and mine does the majority of our house work, I cook he cleans.

Answer 8

Okay, first of all BREATHE!!! Sounds like you have a mountain of worry and responsibility on your shoulders. What you need is some ME time! Even if it's only for a 30 minutes a day! Have hubby share in some of the responsibility. You do need to talk to him if you feel that your marriage is in danger. Communication is key! If you have family members close by, see if you can incorporate some help from them...babysitting, help with housework, etc.

It's tough being a mom sometimes, I know. But remember, you are important too and you need to take care of yourself first or you'll be no good to anybody!

Best of luck!!!!!! xxxxxx

Answer 9

well, I'm not saying that this will work for you.But,think about your life.your in it therefor you must deal with it.that's the good and bad news.you have came along way.one thing at a time!!!!!!from realistic to wish full. get the wish full crap off your list.they do not exist.you are one person.you only do what one person can do.do not over load yourself.why are your kids always going to the docs. is it serious or are you a hypochondriac.?????reduce the visits if poss able.shop for a month-v- week to week. meat markets that deliver.yes it is easier said then done.bills///// what really must be paid?????when. can you put one or to off to do your food.then the fallowing week can you do two more bills,then the third week do two more bills.you get where I'm going with this.
give him some.i dint always feel like it either.it's one way to keep the relation ship in ship shape and would most likely get him to help you a little more.are any of your children old enough to help you out,ask them to.dint make them feel bad,just ask them. DO NOT FEEL BAD IF YOU CANT GET IT ALL IN ONE DAY!!!!!you only live once.But, as long as you are alive,you can always start over with a fresh new day.do not fear the worst.expect things to happen and deal with them one thing at a time.if you need to talk anytime i would be glade to help you out emotionally.

Answer 10

I'm not sure what to tell you to help but I just wanted to let you know that it will get better, I know it may not seem like it, but you have to go through hard times to get to the better ones. If it makes you feel better, I just found out that my perfect boyfriend is still married and has 2 kids. Our whole relationship has been a lie. I'm 22, so I can't relate to all your problems but keep your head up and just pray about it, it will work out for the best. My mom raised me and my younger sister by herself and she went through a lot of crap, but she is the greatest person in the world. She gave us something that money can't buy= love and understanding. Just be there for your kids, they'll love you for it. Good Luck girl! *hug*