Are people who make wedding lists greedy or sensible?

Question

I know what I think!!

For the benefit of glitterbugbell it should be noted that MY opinion does not appear here.

Answer 1

sensible - who wants lots of ugly clutter they have to hide in a cupboard till the gift-giving visitor arrives... ;)

Answer 2

I think quite sensible! When I got married the first time, we ended up with several toasters, two electric frying pans and a drawerful of kitchen tools we didn't need!

I would have MUCH rather done what Walmart has available now, and put in my list of things we needed and wanted, and let my friends choose from those, canceling out what they bought so it would be gone for the next friend who wanted to view and pick something!

I would also rather give what my friends want and need, going by a list...than picking something general and having someone else give them the same thing.

As long as the list IS sensible, and not filled with things average people can't afford, then they're not being greedy, but quite decent!

Answer 3

I think it's fairly essential when most couples have 2 or more of everything as they are often coming to marraige later in life. Whether it's greedy or not depends on what you put on the list- you know your guests and should make sure there's choice for those who will want to buy a more inexpensive gift. We will be doing one for our wedding, it will have lots of cheaper things on and my friends and family are not very well off, and it will also state clearly at the top that a gift is not essential or expected. You can also register a list with Oxfam if you really don't need anything for yourslef.

Answer 4

I really think it just depends on the list- a new 60 inch plasma television, for example, is pretty greedy. But normal run-of-the-mill stuff that a couple needs, like silverware or sheets and stuff isn't so bad. I think most people don't mind having suggestions for what to give, if they choose to give. It is optional after all....a wedding is not a shopping spree and it's the people who EXPECT gifts just because they're getting married that are greedy. The gift is supposed to be the marriage itself, if people are kind enough to give a gift that's fine, if not then get over it and get on with life as a newlywed.

Answer 5

Sensible. The people who didn't use our list got us some ugly ugly things, multiples of things *that we didn't need*, and of course, rarely included a gift receipt. How many decorative bowls does a household need?

I'd much rather have a list to go off when buying gifts for someone. You are still shopping for them - you are guaranteed to get them something they want!

As long as the couple doesn't include a registry card or registry information in the invite, then I have no problem with it and encourage it wholeheartedly. The people who want to know can find out and the people who want to shop on their own never have to see it.

Answer 6

Miss Manners has always staunchly said that one should NEVER register for gifts, simply because one should never expect gifts, ever. It is always up to the gift giver to make the decision to give something, and the receiver is to always be pleasantly surprised.

However, I think Miss Manners overlooks the fact that in today's culture, it is not only traditional to give wedding gifts, but some guests actually want to give a gift and truly want to know what the happy couple would like. Therefore it could be argued that etiquette has evolved such that it is actually polite to register for gifts.

Therefore the best thing may be to register for a few nominal items and leave it at that.

Answer 7

It's sensible. The bottom line is people are going to buy the bride and groom gifts anyway. It is incredibly helpful to be able to go to a store, print out the registry, and pick out a gift you know the recipients will love that is in your price range. Also, registries are useful in that they show the things that you like, which soon-to-be in-laws don't know you like. If you pick turquoise towels for the bathroom, they will know you want a blue theme for that room. If you pick red pots and pans for the kitchen, then it's a good bet to buy something red for the kitchen.

Answer 8

Sensible. We both have had a household so we already have 2 or everything we do not really need 3. What we suggest or register for is just a suggestion. If anyone wants to buy us a glass garden gnome, we will thank them, but who needs 4 toasters?

Answer 9

It seems greedy, and horribly controlling, to tell people exactly what to buy. I was determined not to do it when I got married. Then I read a story about a woman who felt the same way, and her poor mother got phone calls constantly, at all hours of the day and night, for weeks, from people who had no idea what to get her. I didn't want to subject my parents, or my guests, to that kind of torment!
When I got married, my husband and I registered for lots of things that were inexpensive (under $30). That way people knew what we needed and wanted, yet didn't feel pressured to spend a lot of money on us. We got everything we needed for our kitchen (we had nothing), and lots of other very practical things, and nothing bizarre or impractical.
Not registering is a recipe for lots of tiny crystal baskets and other totally pointless things nobody really wants.

Answer 10

SENSIBLE of course, who wants multiple irons and toasters! and it is easier to know who bought what for the thank you cards- common courtesy! but they can be Greedy to by putting things down that are too expensive, and just have for the sake of wanting to look good!

Answer 11

bit of both really they don't want to end up with a load of crap that they don't need or want i think that makes them a bit greedy and sensible.