Ive been having problems with the men lately
and i never know when i really should stop giving them chances
and
im not strong enough to let go
...
how many chances to they deserve and what makes it easier to let go
2006-07-14 13:06:50 · 25 answers · asked by Jonatello 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it was a long term thing that i really love and like it was to the point of love
we always told eachother everyday plenty of times we loved eachother all that good stuff
and he would always say im perfect and he wantd to be with me forever
and just he other day he called and said this need sto end im having feelings for someone else
this was the second time he did
the first time he did we werent as serious so i let him back
2006-07-14 13:42:38 · update #1
depends on the guy
2006-07-14 13:11:26 · answer #1 · answered by dtstuff9 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
hm... this is a tough question as i'm also facing it. however, i think that if it's a long term relationship it shouldn't be a matter of "how many chances" in numerical forms. i just think that if the person knows he's wrong and at least try to control that part of their personality is enough (of course depending the situation). if you start putting things into numerical forms then it's probably not going to work out for a very long term. i'm thinking let's say that i did something more than 3 times... should he have the right to leave me too? i think that if he cheats then forget it. i'm sure once he cheats he won't stop. however, if it's some other things that he does i.e. raising his voice on you, cussed you out, etc. then i think that there should be chances but not take it all the time since you don't deserve it. it just really depends on the situation and what's going on in your relationship to determine how many chances one should get. if he tries to do some other stuff to pacify you then i guess give them a chance and yourself if you really like this person. sorry i'm not really answering it with a certain answer but this is pretty hard to determine and i think it shouldn't be taken as numerical terms. good luck though... i know how you're feeling right now. just take some time and think about it. review this relationship to see if it's worth your time
2006-07-14 20:16:07 · answer #2 · answered by dorkydork 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok I think they only deserve 2 chances with one thing becuz when a guy does something and u say your going 2 give him 1 more chance or if he asks for 1 more chance and u give it 2 him if he does it again think that he was stupid enough 2 do it again. And tht should help make it easier 2 let go and if that doesnt work think about that u gave him chances and he new that but he blew them!
2006-07-14 20:11:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really depends on what the 'problem' is.
Cheating on you? No second chance.
Leaving the seat up on the toilet? At least 10-12 chances.
Buying the wrong brand pop for you. 20 or so.
Not guessing what you're thinking when you asking him. a few million.
See what I mean? We need a little more info to give better answers.
2006-07-14 20:17:39 · answer #4 · answered by jimmy h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i had the same problem. i had broken up with my bf after 1 year and 2 months because things had changed between us, and he wasnt the guy i had met a year ago, and so i broke up with him and we were on and off because we were so crazy about each other. but everytime we went back to being together, he NEVER changed at all. not even for me. like i wanted him to so badly stop the things he was doing that ticked me off, and he never did anything. we went out and broke up 6 times, and i saw thats enough, and now i've found someone new. :) he's the best thing that has ever happened to me.
to get over it, fall in love with someone else who will give you a chance. :)
2006-07-14 20:11:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you say chances I assume you mean that they have wronged you, you walked away, and now they want to come back.
There is an old saying that fits this perfectly.
You can fool me once, that is your fault. If you fool me twice that is my fault. I am not quite that hard to deal with.
I feel like if they need more than one chance and you give it too them you are the fool.
If your married all bets are off. That is completely different in a lot of ways.
2006-07-14 20:16:44 · answer #6 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's a serious problem( cheating, etc) 1 chance is all they need.Who needs to be told not to cheat. But, if he does something that is a personal pet peeve(talking on the comp to other females) give him 2. But, thats it.
Men are dogs who will use and abuse!
2006-07-14 20:10:11 · answer #7 · answered by ricksliss 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I always say give 3 and the the forth is the one that if u messed up, then is done for good
2006-07-14 21:23:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just depends on your relationship with him. Was it something that really hurt you? like cheating? lying? its all about how you feel. but you shoulding give him too many chances. I will only make you look like a fool. Like that saying. "fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you, fool me three times, I must be a cow". Think of it like that.
2006-07-14 20:16:02 · answer #9 · answered by acerboy278 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should do the two chance rule if he messes up once like something not too big but still upsets you warn him and tell him he has another chance but if he messes up let him go but if its something big like cheating on you dont take him back till he knows what he did was so wrong.
2006-07-14 20:10:58 · answer #10 · answered by mymamarox101 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just enough to hang ourselves. Then letting go is easier and the heart ache we experience is much worse.
2006-07-14 20:11:43 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋