ive been with my boyfriend for a year and we talk all the time about getting married, he bought up, to my delight, originaly, 6 months ago. he hasnt proposed officially yet, but im getting nervous that hes gonna ge anoyed if i go on about it too much. what shall i do? plan or wait?
2006-07-14 12:07:59 · 31 answers · asked by cherrykisses 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
he's probably saving up to buy a ring...give it time...took me 7 months to save up for the ring i gave to my wife.
2006-07-14 12:09:49 · answer #1 · answered by bill nye the science guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep - you're are still in the 'honeymoon' period in your relationship - still getting to know one another, still on your best behaviour. Wait and then wait some more and if you are still in your twenties wait again. Marriage is a huge step - this is about promising to love each other, no matter what, until the day you die. Not about showing the world how much you love each other.
And all this 'free milk' rubbish! Love and sexual pleasure and companionship isn't something men buy from women by buying them a ring and signing a register - they are beautiful things given to us by nature to share with whoever we deem to be worthy of them at the time - a good partner reciprocates and makes the sum of your love greater than the two parts that make it - if you feel like you aregiving away something and getting less in return then you are in the wrong relationship.
2006-07-16 12:18:21 · answer #2 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just wait. It's better not to rush these things. It will happen when the time is right and you're both ready. Do you really want to feel like you've forced him into asking? I doubt it. And, really, a year is not that long. But remember, there's nothing wrong with planning a little bit. Look at pictures of wedding dresses, look at pics of rings, think about what time of year you would like to get married or where. There's nothing wrong with thinking about stuff like that already. Just don't start putting a down payment on anything or booking a receptional hall just yet.
2006-07-14 19:13:01 · answer #3 · answered by arizonagirl1981 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this a boyfriend with bennies? If so, the talk about getting married was really an invitation to bed. And, if so, I agree with answer above. Why buy the cow if/when the milk's free.
Ideal: If/when mutual attraction strikes, spend two months, not dating but, doing things for other people. Get to know each other, not under the best of circumstances; but, in difficult situations. When people date, they're really dating each other's facades. They put on their best clothes, their best behaviour, and, if you're not careful, you end up marrying a facade, rather than getting to know the character of the person under difficult circumstances. Do volunteer work together. Get to know one another's character. Not just if you can both manage to keep it together for as long as a date lasts. Don't be alone, together. You will just present your facades to each other. Spend time with family, friends, strangers. Observe how you both interact with all of those people. Men treat their wives they way they treat their mothers/sisters; and women relate to men the way they did to their fathers. Look for healthy relationships.
If, by the end of 2 months, you BOTH--not HIM, feel you would like to make a lifetime commitment to one another, announce your engagement. If you're not married within 95 days, tell him you and he are out of synch--you are ready to marry, he is not, and say, "Adios", you want to be free for your intended one in Hebrew, "b'sherit.
I've seen so many stupid women throw away a year on this guy, a year on that guy, 6 years on another, 11 years on another, 'til her biological clock has ticked out, while his is still going strong, and will, forever. Women are nesters. Find someone who you would like to be the father of your children, who can help you make a good strong nest for your offspring, and marry him. The other buys are just getting free milk. That's all they deserve.
2006-07-15 03:56:16 · answer #4 · answered by GypsyGr-ranny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh hun, you should wait three years before you get into a deep, serious talk about marriage. wait a couple of years, if it is meant to be then you will have more of a reason to wait for each other. Also, you may grow out of love with him. Divorce is on the increase- with people rushing into marriages and havin children. sit back and relax....
2006-07-15 15:41:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he's planning something big and romantic. Maybe he is scared. Maybe he's waiting for Christmas or New Years.
You should not go on about it to much. But if no ring by 2 years ask him straight out...
2006-07-14 21:30:01 · answer #6 · answered by heather k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait, honey. You and I are in the same boat. Both the girlfriends of our dream boats for a year. I'm so anxious it's not even funny, but he asked me to be patient, so patient I will be..He gave me a little hint a couple weeks ago that he had "plans" for me, in that regards..So I have to hold my breathe a little longer, but my is it worth it..So just hold on girlie, we'll get there eventually :)
2006-07-14 20:32:53 · answer #7 · answered by picturegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK you need to ask him. i know its a big step and you may feel vulnerable but if you don't its gonna either eat you up thinking about it or your gonna wind up your man talking about it. so if this is what you really truly want then why wait, life's too short. if you wanna spend the rest of your life with this man then what better way of showing him you love him than asking him yourself.
2006-07-17 05:23:32 · answer #8 · answered by mandy and steve 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your insincts are right- don't go on about it or even mention it! He could be saving up or planning a surprise or changing his mind about marraige. A year really isn't that long so give it a bit more time...
2006-07-15 10:37:18 · answer #9 · answered by Estee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait. A year isn't very long to get to know someone. Give it more time unless you're past 65.
2006-07-14 19:09:43 · answer #10 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your mouth shut and wait: 12 months is no time together to be thinking about getting wed!!!
Just live for today...and enjoy it!!! There is time enough to saddle yourself with a ball and chain latter!!!
2006-07-14 19:12:48 · answer #11 · answered by englands.glory 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋