I need help with a Christian Social Action essay. Here's what I have so far. How's it sound? What does it need

Question

In my opinion, the biggest social problem in the world today is pollution. Not pollution of land, water or air. Those are economical and environmental problems, and though they are indirectly the cause of social problems and the results of other social problems, they are not specifically social problems in and of themselves. I mean pollution in the minds and the hearts of the teenage generation. It is a social problem that is more widespread than any other. It exists anywhere and everywhere that there is a living creature, though it affects primarily the teenage generation. My generation. We are the most susceptible to this sort of pollution, and what we receive now will likely stay with us the rest of our lives.

What are the pollutants? Like the garbage seen on roadsides, in lakes, and on city skylines, This pollution takes many forms and eventually could lead to destruction. Some common pollutants take the form of emotions such as lust, gluttony, greed, laziness, anger, envy, and pride... These are commonly known as the seven deadly sins. These pollutants cause the separation between us and God. With every pollutant that enters us, we are drawn farther away from Him.

How did this problem develop? Where did this pollution come from? It started with a beautiful, powerful angel named Lucifer. He was the greatest angel in all of Heaven, but garbage came into and took over his mind and it became polluted. Pride took over his mind when he began to realize the greatness of his position. Greed co-ruled as he began to desire to be greater than his Creator and God. Pride coupled with greed always produced the arrogance that drove him to act upon the greed and pride. The result was a rebellion and a war.

The first example of a human being polluted was in the Garden of Eden. There Lucifer, now Satan, paid a “friendly” visit to Eve as a snake. He planted the seed of his own greed and lust for power in her when he told her that by eating the fruit that God had forbidden, they would know all things and see as God sees, and that they would be like gods themselves. Her mind became polluted with the desire Satan planted in her, and since then, sin has continued to pollute the minds and hearts of all people that have ever lived.

These pollutants come from many sources today. It comes from music and movies, books and magazines, the internet and television, friends and co-workers. Even from family.

Answer 1

you forgot to say that your parents told you to say this stuff and that you didn't think of it on your own accord and that you forced to hear this crap your whole life.

Answer 2

I like it. That's very original to use the analogy of physical pollution to parallel the spiritual pollution that you perceive around you. One suggestion I would make, try to use examples that you know about personally. When I was writing college papers, we were never encouraged to personalize them. Just like the evening news, everything was supposed to be from that ever-elusive [non-existent] neutral perspective. I now believe that makes for very irrelevant, boring writing. Get a piece o f paper and just start writing down your personal experience of the things (pollutants) you were talking about..the emotion of.....greed, lust, pride...etc. Also, JESUS FREAK, don't forget that the hero of the story wins in the end, so leave the reader with hope for the future.

Also you can use hyperbole, but use it rarely---treat it like that red hot fire sauce you can get in Chinese restaurants...yum. Humor is good too; as long as you don't get flippant, you won't undermine the seriousness of your thesis. And finally, virtually everyone says to set your paper aside for a day or two when you are done, just to let the dust settle in your mind. That also gives you time to prayerfully consider if any attitude is out of place. Attitudes are important; they always show in your writing.

Hoping the best for you...

Answer 3

That's a great start. The next part should be something like this:

"It is the moral duty and responsibility for all rational people to take a stand against the insidious mind-killing magical thinking that is a part of belief in the Abrahamic god of desert monotheism (Judaism. Christianity, Islam). These ridiculous religious beliefs seek to supplant rationality and hard-won knowledge with the myths, superstitions, fairy tales and fantastical delusions of a bunch of ignorant peripatetic Bronze Age goat herders. As a result of this campaign against sanity, the USA is presently on a par with developing third-world nations with regard to magical, supernatural beliefs (devils, demons, spirits, talking snakes and donkeys, multiplying loaves and fishes, eating god in the form of a cracker, etc.), instead of being consistent with other modern industrial powers, where we belong. This is a national disgrace."

Good luck with your essay.

Answer 4

Start a two- week bible camp 4 little kids (4-11) nd have the older kids help out (12-18) for community service hours. W do it where i live nd its a hit.

Answer 5

Good start, but I'd suggest a more theologically-sound approach. To wit:
Our separation from God is not because of "sins", but of "sinfulness." Check Romans. We are not sinners because we sin, we sin because we're sinners. It's this "original sin" that we inherited from Adam that separates us from God. Therefore, a "kinder, gentler" generation will not bring a single member one inch closer to God. Only salvation can do that.

Answer 6

Sounds good so far.

Answer 7

I think its good.