My mother has looked after me for the past 13 years or so and i love her. She's not very smart and the problem arose when she met this drunken man and then my dad had to take my brother and i away. Strangely, she's never tried to contact us and when i met her by accident on the street, i had no feeling towards her whatsoever. i felt nothing when she came to hug me. Would u find it strange to act that way with your own mother?
2006-07-14 10:49:57 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No, this isn't strange, and neither are you for thinking it is! Sometimes when we are hurt or upset, whether we are grown up, or not, we are so upset that we are capable of putting away our feelings. It sounds like you have parents who love you, but your Dad needed to act in a way that was for your own good, but hard to deal with, even though you knew the reasons why. I imagine you might be feeling all sorts of things. And, there are many reasons why your Mother didn't contact you. Things, in time have a habit of catching up with us, would it be a good idea to find someone you trust to talk to? A counsellor can offer you the opportunity to talk without judging your circumstances, your GP, school or college can help you to find one. Good luck, you sound like you have had a tough time, but, times like this lead people to a deeper understanding of themselves, you, I am sure, are going to find yourself all the support you need.
2006-07-15 08:19:41 · answer #1 · answered by silentium aqualis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, its not strange. Not everyone has a happy family and if you were dependant on your mother and her drunken boyfriend you'd be considered 'co-dependant'.
You have grown up and moved on. She chose that man over you, and she also broke contact with her own children. Not many mothers do that.
If you're really worried by your reaction, seek counselling to help you understand why you feel that way. As long as you feel happy and healthy in other areas of your life then you're ok.
Lots of people feel very little for their biological family, and lots constantly argue and have negative emotions towards them. I think its better to feel the way you do, if you are not constantly full of resentment you are able to get on with your own life.
2006-07-14 11:04:28 · answer #2 · answered by sarah c 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No..It's not strange. Your father had to remove you from the home due to her neglect. She hasn't taken care of you for 13 years, nor has she tried to contact you. At least that's what your father tell you. However, there will be some type of resentment towards her; perhaps anger.
Talk to your mother. This will help with your healing process. You may say it doesn't bother you, or you really don't care. Somehow and some where it will catch up with you and show it's ugly head. Find out the facts, and find out if she tried contacting you and your brother, and if no..Find out why not..
Good luck!
2006-07-14 10:54:23 · answer #3 · answered by WhatEVER27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe what may have happened is that the entire situation has understandably created an immense amount of hurt and confusion to you, both consciously and subconsciously.
Sometimes, when an emotion is too strong to comprehend and deal with, a person will then feel NOTHING towards any connections relating to the said situation. This serves to act as an instant protection until you have had time to further comprehend and understand and emotionally deal with the situation step by step.
Being numb is quite normal and remains an individual occurrence to every person and relative to its situation.
I hope that this has been of help to you.
2006-07-14 11:01:59 · answer #4 · answered by Paula 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is possible you have built an emotional wall to deal with what seems to be a bit of abandonment. Rather than give up the man, she let your father be awarded custody. I am sorry this has happened to you. There is nothing wrong with you feeling this way. You are probably hurting a bit. Some day she will realize what she has lost, and maybe you will be able to find a place in your heart to allow her a bit of time in your life. Hang in there.
2006-07-14 10:55:11 · answer #5 · answered by jboatright57 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes parents make mistakes and dont know how to say their sorry. keep in mind that this is still your mother and if it were me I would have a hard time showing or feeling affection as well. Now for real for real, she is still your mom and how you act towards her from this day forward will effect you Not Her. So I say be an adult about it and do whats best for you, whats really going on inside your heart?
2006-07-14 10:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by Doctor feel good 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the situation, and also how long it's been since you were last in contact...maybe you just need to get to know her again. At the end of the day u only get one mum and if she tried her best for you when you were with her you should try and rebuild ur relationship. Hope it all works out for u.
(oh...n i dont think its strange...it'd be the same if you lost touch with anyone)
2006-07-15 05:57:11 · answer #7 · answered by emz_2910 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No because if you haven't seen her in a while and it doesn't look like she's tried to contact you, so you may feel slight hate towards her or just feel she is your biologal mother and nothing more. Basically no it's not strange, it's how you feel and you have reason to feel like that ;-)
2006-07-14 11:19:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Certainly not. Bonds or serious ties ought to exist only if there is mutual love and understanding. You both have(from your story) different lifestyle. The meeting point is not there. You cannot and should not fake love towards her or anyone for that matter. you have to move on. There are good people out there. When you meet them, release that love freely. But if one day she recognises (pray she does) and ask for your forgiveness, then do not hesitate to forgive her. Good luck.
2006-07-14 12:29:25 · answer #9 · answered by Ellis O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. Unfortunately you cannot choose your family, we are conditioned to believe that we should love our mother unconditionally, however in reality this does not always happen. Please do not feel guilty in anyway, it is just the way things have turned out. You sound like a lovely person, keep smiling and be happy.
2006-07-14 10:58:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋