My husbands family likes to treat him like crap on the phone. pretending they cant hear so everytime he starts to speak they say hello hello boooodie..... etc. anyhow. they always start an arguement with him i told him not to bother anymore but it is his family and i respect that. but today he was talking to his sisterinlaw about the previous nights call. she said because bodie turned off his phone that when he called next time to not answer the phone. i said well they dont hardly ever answer it anyhow. speakerphone oops well she started calling me names and said i dont know this family and that i need to mind my own business but it is my business because it upsets my husband who has been thru alot of abuse at their hands. anyways i got blamed for the argument after it was "my fault" but how many times do i have to listen to the same thing? they treat him like crap he gets mad hangs up and then i have to make sure he doesnt flip out. and we end up argueing. so what can i do?
2006-07-14 10:42:19 · 12 answers · asked by butterflyharmon 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I didnt have enough characters to explain i have alot of mental disorders. BD BPD OCD PTSD agoraphobic and anxiety issues and when she started yelling at me i got very upset couldnt breath cryed uncontrollably just wanted to die. my husband just got more upset cause i got upset told her to stop and she didnt he didnt even hang up on her i would have. i am seriously wondering why in the world is everything my fault i cant take it much longer its getting to be too much.
2006-07-14 10:44:33 · update #1
Feeling like u want to die is just a feeling didnt say i wanted to commit suciside (sp) dont u ever feel that way when your overwhelmed? and he calls the sister in law cause he loves his nieces and nephew. and unfortunately his brothers as well.
2006-07-14 11:08:05 · update #2
I don't understand why you and your husband are putting yourselves through this. I was abused all my life by my mother and two of my brothers. But I still felt that I needed to keep in contact with them. Every time I went to see them, which was often because we live in a 30 mile radius of one another, I would leave so mad at myself because there were things I wanted to say but couldn't bring myself to say.
Then after leaving one afternoon and I was once again crying, my husband asked me why I go. It was like a weight was lifted off of me, I realized at that moment that I didn't have to go and put myself through that any more. I have not been back since and it has been 11 years. I am a better person for it.
2006-07-14 10:55:53 · answer #1 · answered by nana4dakids 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because of previous incidences in my life with a few particularly sh!tty people, i have become a complete introvert. i have no desire for friends and am completely immune to loneliness. I am literally incapable of being close to anybody, even my own family. i've struggled with anxiety my entire life. when i was younger i used to literally beg my mom to take my to a counselor, or take me to get some sort of medication to stop the living hell i was going through, but she refused to help in any way cause she didn't want her friends thinking she had a "crazy daughter". so i spent my early teenage years an isolated, depressed, self-abusing, and very often suicidal girl. not a whole lot has changed since then. except i have more of a grip on myself now. babe, you're not alone and you're not unloved. I don't consider myself to be a christian but i am a believer in Jesus Christ and believe in what the Bible says word for word. God loves you and me and has a reason for putting you through the things you have gone through. He knows that you are strong enough to handle it and as crazy as it sounds, he might just bring a lot of good out of it. there are loads of girls like you out there. although you had nobody to help you through what you have and are going through, maybe you can help somebody else. God loves you so freaking much and wants you to love him back. and if you put youre faith and trust in him, he will never leave or betray you. I know you have prolly heard all of this b4 but it's the least i can do because i know it's true and He is the only reason I'm alive today. I wish you all the best.
2016-03-27 05:35:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, none of this is your fault. These relatives are using the telephone to harass you both. Your husband is feeding into it by answering and trying to talk to these fools. Sounds like they always gotta have something stirred up. Get your phone number changed and tell him to take a break from these trouble makers for at least a few months. Good luck!
2006-07-14 10:50:46 · answer #3 · answered by lindagreendogs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are taking too much upon yourself, stop.
When your husband is talking to them do not stay in the same room. The only thing you should say to your husband about his dysfunctional relationship with his family is "I am sorry that you feel that way and are upset". Anything else that you say just stirs the pot.
2006-07-14 10:56:11 · answer #4 · answered by gobobgo55 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dearest,
Enough with the feeling sorry for yourself. Here's some help...
If something is making you and your husband upset to the point of physical sickness, CUT IT OUT OF YOU LIFE!!! but good!!! There is no sense prolonging the agony. Make your terms with your in-laws. Inform them that you will no longer be continuing to communicate with them if they continue antagonizing you and your husband. Tell them that you love them, if you in fact do, and tell them that it for all of your own goods to do this. If they cannot, or will not abide by your, and your husbands, wishes, then CUT THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE!!! Family is family, I understand, but enough is enough. As for your thinking that everything is your fault, get over it! It is only your fault if you let yourself think it's your fault.
2006-07-14 11:01:20 · answer #5 · answered by bobbin1973 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie: Take a deep breath and remember that you can't control them or their behavior.
It is hard to see this going on to your hubby. I find alot of the treatment my honey gets from his family unfair. When I voice my opinion it causes arguments and hurt feelings.
All you can do is just be there to listen to him, hug him, ect. whenever his family upsets him.
Let him know your opinion if it is something so outrageous it can't be ignored. But if it is the run of the mill everyday drama your used to just laugh it off. It will make you feel better and your honey to.
When the drama begins do something different to distract both of you.
Good luck! :)
2006-07-14 11:07:46 · answer #6 · answered by Spay-n-Neuter-Your-Pets 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, it's your fault. a part of you wants bad things to happen to you. you're saying you felt like you wanted to die; if you really wanna die, you'll end up dead, and it would feel like it's other people's fault, but it'd actually be yours. if both you and your husband hate his family, why dont you stop contacting them, or when they call just hang up, or change your phone numbers or something. there's so many things you could do to stop this. but if something inside you wants bad things to keep happening, they're gonna keep happening. if you wanna stop this, you'll figure out a way. nobody else can help you.
2006-07-14 10:56:56 · answer #7 · answered by Maus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it drives you crazy, stay out of it for your own sanity. It might be a good idea to detach from his family problems, they maybe too much for you right now. when he is on the phone with them leave the room, go out for awhile, go take a walk if you can. he has to be the one to make his choices of wheither if he wants to be treated like this or not. you cant save him.
2006-07-14 11:32:33 · answer #8 · answered by Julie D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to see and talk to someone, like therapist/counselor.
You are not crazy, just have lots of problems with them and your self.
2006-07-14 11:06:29 · answer #9 · answered by Jola 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys need a new family. I think you can be done with that one now.
2006-07-14 10:50:57 · answer #10 · answered by gabluesmanxlt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋