how can i make a long distance relationship work?

Question

give me some help...

Answer 1

Besides the phone calls, / cell calls and emails. You can send her care packages every once in awhile to let her know that your thinking of her. Put a little bit of effort into each box and card or note you put in to it girls love stuff like that. Send flowers or chocolates, or even cookies be inventive. The more thought you put into it the more she will know you will want this relationship to work long distance and she will make the effort too. It works both ways. If she doesn't respond in the same way then she either isn't romantic or really doesn't see it going on long term. Above all you must have trust because without that this won't work all the money you spend on all the things in the world will mean nothing if you can't trust each other because you are so far away from each other. Good luck.

Answer 2

Don't listen to people who say it won't work, they're only saying that because they don't know. I'm in a long distance relationship right now myself. My advice is before you enter a long distance relationship, make damn sure that the other person and the relationship is worth it. If it's not worth it from the start, you're just wasting time and it's going to hurt more down the road. Write regularly. My gf and I email about 3 times a day when we're apart. Sometimes a simple email can mean the world. Call regularly, too. Get the same cell phone provider so that you can call eachother for free any time, or wait until 9 so that it's free. Something that can help you feel closer is to watch a favorite tv show together on the phone. It's just like you're watching it together. When you get back together, don't expect everything to be perfect, and don't depend on it being perfect. I say this because nothing is ever perfect, and then when something doesn't work out how you had envisioned, it ruins a lot for you. Just let things happen as they happen. My biggest piece of advice is to take everything a day at a time. Try to remain calm, and if you ever find yourself wondering why the hell you're in a long distance relationship, remind yourself that it's either this or not being with the other person.

Answer 3

If you love one another it can work don't give up. As long as you talk on the phone everyday and spend time on weekends when possible. Don't cheat and try not to get jealous. Write love notes.

Other ways to make it work....
Here's How:
Establish some ground rules.
Get everything in the open, so no one feels they’re sneaking around. Talk about whether you can see other people romantically, how often you’d like to speak to each other, and if there are special occasions where the two of you must see each other in person.

Snail mail is an inexpensive way to stay in touch.
The recipient can keep the letter and read it any time they need a burst of love. Of course, you can send more than letters. You could send a taped message, a CD that alternates between your message and some favorite songs, or even a blank jigsaw puzzle that you write on and send a few pieces at a time.

Arrange to watch a TV program together.
That way, you can experience the enjoyment simultaneously, even though you're miles apart.

Don't fight over small problems.
Because you can't talk as often as you like, everything becomes magnified. Therefore, make a decision that you won’t fight over small problems. All couples fight some of the time, but when you are in an LDR, save the fighting for the really important issues.

Accept uncertainty.
When you do see each other again, things might seem initially tense. You may wonder, “Do I still love him?” or “Is this relationship still worthwhile?” Those thoughts are normal. They’ll pass. And if they don’t, you should consider breaking-up.

If there are problems, tell them.
If you see the relationship breaking apart, don’t keep it from the other person. Tell them. Don’t leave that kind of message on an answering machine or throw it in an email. Get the other person on the phone. They deserve it.

Plan a surprise trip.
At times, phone and email won't cut it. The best thing to do is see your loved one in person. Check out Site59 for last minute travel deals.
http://dating.about.com/od/relationshipissues/ht/LDRs.htm

Answer 4

You can't make a long distance relationship work, and by that I don’t mean they can’t work, I mean it’s not all on your shoulders so the first thing is to get that part out of your head. It’s a lot less stressful when you remember you can only do so much before it’s completely out of your hands. Second, realize that trust is the biggest factor to keep in mind. You have to trust that your mate is being as loyal to you as you are to them and if you can’t trust that, then maybe you should reconsider the relationship. It’s obvious that trust should be a major factor in any relationship, but when talking about a long distance relationship, trust can easily be put to the test. Make sure you have many lines of communication available: phone (most expensive), email, instant messengers (and have more then one, AIM, Yahoo, MSN, etc…) also, to help save on the phone bill, you can set up a microphone through many instant messenger services and get some speakers (or a head set for privacy) and you won’t have to pay anything for talking to your mate… a PC video camera can also be used when talking on an instant messenger service. Don’t forget to send actual mail too. Technology has made for quick convenient communication, but you still can’t beat a hand written letter delivered in the mail… it’s just more personal. Also… and this is a big one (if/when you argue), usually your first reaction is the worst reaction when you are upset… stop and think before you speak.

Answer 5

It takes a special sort of person to make a long distance relationship work. The question, "Will this work?" is commonly asked. There's no one, right answer. People have met and dated over thousands of miles and wound up soul mates. And people have met, dated over thousands of miles and wound up hurt and wounded.


Although there are definite hardships associated with this relationship style, those that can thrive in a long distance relationship see those hardships as strengths, too.



True, you don't get to cuddle every night, you don't have a shoulder to lean on, but what long distance relationships do provide many with are lasting relationships based on getting to know the person for who they are, not what they act like. Though it is important to know a person's mannerisms firsthand, the edge of the relationship comes in the conversations via phone and e-mail. And the many cute things you can do to make the relationship work.


Another good thing about dating long-distance is if it fits your lifestyle well. If you are the kind of person that is temporarily too busy to have a full-fledged relationship, but still looking to grow, then long-distance may be for you. Most long-distance relationships don't want to be long-distance, and that's the best thing about them. Two people are connected in this magical way, no matter what the mileage between them is. How romantic!


For those in a relationship, here are some ways to know if the relationship is "real", and working.


First, depending on how the relationship began, it may be solely over e-mail or the phone. Also depending on how long you've been together, it's always a good indication if he or she keeps in touch with you regularly. Though you may not be able to see each other everyday, talking every few days at least shows the person cares. When the love thing steps into play, you'll probably be talking to that person everyday.


Second, is the person there as much as possible, within reason, when you need him or her? Again, depending on how serious the relationship is, you can expect that person to get in touch with you immediately if an emergency or crisis occurs. If you're at the level where you know his or her's schedule, then you know when he or she can get back to you, should a problem arise. Just because he or she cannot drive over in five minutes to see you after a tragedy, they can still call.


Third, if the relationship is serious, there should be talk about making it a non-long distance relationship. Again, this depends on your individual situation, but after a while, and some "L" words thrown around, you can decide what to do next.


If you're in the relationship, here are some cute ways to keep it going!


E-cards. Many web sites offer them, so make use of these free cards with sweet messages.


Care packages. A definite cute way to keep in touch! Include inside joke items, cards, candy, pictures, etc. Everyone loves mail, and so will your sweetheart!


Calls. So you know he or she isn't home and you really want to chat? Utilize their answering machine to leave a pleasant surprise when he or she gets home!


With these tips, your dedication and spark, your long distance relationship could be blooming more and more...even across the many miles!

Answer 6

Visit frequently, call even more frequently, send lots of little reminders (they don't have to always be expensive presents - although a nice present every once in a while out of the blue always helps - but even just a little note in the mail, or a postcard or whatever...).

But ultimately, a long distance relationship is running on a timer - at a certain point, there has got to be some sense that it is "going" somewhere -- i.e. that it is leading to something serious and the long-distance chapter is going to come to a close. Everyone is different, and you may have a little more time or a little less time than someone else - but ultimately you've got to show that there's something in it that is worth the effort of the long-distance thing. It's not easy. A real balancing act. Good luck!

Answer 7

How long is the distance? How often can you get together? And your age will make a difference. Though the odds are against you, it can work. Writing, emailing, talking on the phone, and periodically seeing each other will cement the friendship. You need a friendship before you can move onto the next level for the long term.

If within less than a year you think the relationship is progress, one of your should consider moving closer. What, no? Then stop now because in time you will need to be closer in distance to have a true relationship. Otherwise, consider this the closest friendship you may ever have.

Answer 8

Relationships like the one you seek are based on shared intimacy.

In a typical relationship, shared intimacy is based on touch (usually touch to the point of sex).

Obviously, in a long distance relationship, touch is out (at least frequently enough to satisfy).

So you must come up with another method of shared intimacy. The method will vary with the individual personalities involoved, and must be mutually satifactory for both. Some people can't acheive sufficient intimacy / satisfaction with touch-substitutes, which is why long distance relationships often fail.

Long talks over the phone can be good. Remember, the point is to be intimate. Telling long stories about how you day was may not work. Telling about how you feel (about anything - past, present, or future) will help bond the two of you.

Regular, impassioned visits may be the key - doing enough living in the space of a weekend that a couple may typically do in a week, a fortnight, or a month, may work for the two of you.

In the days before the phone company and internet, letters were a way that some special couples maintained a long-distance relationship.

Use your imagination. Use your partner's imagination (again, it must work for them, too). \

And good luck.

Answer 9

1, If your distance is short - your trips back and forth can be interesting, rewarding, anticipating. 2) If your distance is longer, the trips may be fewer, and you will find you have to work much harder at the relationship. Much of it depends on the groundwork, and foundation the two of you have already laid. More importantly, the communication involved. Distance has a way of helping people 'get over' each other - and allow for the intervention of others we never knew existed. When I moved from Detroit to California to become a singer, I was in love - big time! Didn't want to go - and I was told by my friend that if I didn't go and the girls made it - our relationship would never be the same because deep inside I would blame him. He was so right. I still cared about him, but moving changed me. It made me grow, I was opened to a world I knew nothing of, my experiences and travels have made me the person I am today. And I learned that the friend and I might not have ever made a marriage couple - but have remained friends. Sometimes moving away has its own set of plans for you and yours and your lives. It's a chance you take - but if you are willing and love each other - and are TRULY committed - you might make it work. Best wishes to you. I've been there and done that. I know how it feels.

Answer 10

I've heard stories of people getting together and having wonderful relationships after a long distance in between them but not many become a reality though, most are just people hoping it'll blossom into a intimate relationship(my opinion) or it remain a strong relationship
It takes a lot of love and effort and patience I suppose but how long does one wait before seeing it only as a long distance relationship and without all the thrills that bond two people-you have to know when to say enough is enough and nothing is going to come from it.
If the relationship is from the internet, just keep your guards up until a meeting has taken place, it's only then you can know if there is any truth in the person you are wanting.

Answer 11

Long distance relationships require a special willingness and understanding that can test love like no other type of relationship can. It requires constant communication and a desire to continually create your relationship, using the only real tool you have... your words.

Any person worth having is worth waiting a few years for. If you both have something really special then take the plunge. You'd be surprised at how well a long distance relationship can work out. Granted, it won't be easy and you'll both go through your bouts of loneliness. However, the rewards for making it through are worth every lonely second.

Just remember there are thousands of couples going through long distance relationships every day. There are thousands of resources available, to help you both make it through and keep the relationship feeling alive and new. With the Internet you can both keep in contact through Internet phones, chats, instant messengers and more. The only thing stopping a long distance relationship from succeeding in these times is the relationship itself.

If your relationship is rocky or isn't meant to pan out in the end, a long distance situation brings that to your attention quite quickly. This may be the reason so many people are hesitant to get involved in this type of relationship. However, if you are truly a match made in heaven, a few thousand miles can only make your relationship that much stronger in the long-term.

As to what to tell your girlfriend… just let her know that you think she's worth the wait. You know you both can make it, and that you hope she feels the same way.