My bf wants to have anal with me but i told him to wait..what should i do?

Question

i told my bf to wait until the day he proposes to me because i was so anxious to get married but now that that day is coming soon i really dont want to do that? its a mans fantasy but i heard it hurts alot i dont want to spend one of the happiest days of my life in pain from having anal sex? but what if i say i dont want to do it and he cancelled his proposal to me?

Answer 1

Tell him that you don't want to do this. If he loves you, he will understand and he won't put sex in better place that ur feelings... If he cancell his proposal, then -sorry honey- but he's not the right person for you. You have to respect yourself -and congratulations coz that was what you did by sayin no to anal sex as you didn't want that-. And much more, HE must respects you and your wishes. He is supposed to love you and want/try to make you happy... that is what he means with the proposal. His actions will show if he really means this. So don't feel afraid-worried to tell him that you don't want to have anal sex. If you explain him why too things maybe will be better... Honesty is very important in every relationship...

Good luck!

Answer 2

Well, I think there is a lot more involved in this question than just anal intercourse. First of all, if the sole reason he proposed was for the purpose of having anal intercourse w/ you, then I suggest that you seriously rethink marrying him. I can understand that you may be anxious to get married, especially if you are in love w/ him. However, you shouldn't get married for the wrong reasons. You should also avoid getting married, because you are in love w/ the idea of getting married.
I really think that you need to honestly ask yourself a bunch of questions such as:
Am I really in love w/ him? Can I picture spending the rest of my life w/ him and no one else? Am I marrying him because I feel that I should be married, or that my other friends are married? Do you trust him completely? Do you feel that your love and feelings for each other are mutual and equal?
I know these are a lot of questions to ask one's self, but they are essential. Marriage is a huge commitment and you don't want to end up divorced in a year or less. One should only marry if they can truly and honestly see one's self w/ this person forever. Sex should never be the main reason for marriage.
I really feel that you should have a long talk w/ your fiancé. If he decides not to marry you, because you don't want to have anal sex w/ him, then he really is doing you a favor. It may not seem that way right now, but you will be happy w/ his decision down the road. The idea of only marrying a girl, just so she will have anal sex w/ you, is totally insane! Think about it! It should be because he is madly in love w/ you and can't imagine his life w/ out you! You should never settle for less.
Now, as far as anal intercourse goes... If you do decide to marry this guy, you can always promise him that you will try to have anal w/ him. By this, I mean, if it hurts then stop. However, here are some hints that may make it easier for you:

1) Make sure that you engage in a lot of foreplay and are very aroused.

2) Make sure that you are well lubricated. Aside from your own natural lubrication, I would suggest using a synthetic lubricant like 'Astroglide'.

3) Be very liberal w/ the aforementioned lubricant. Make sure your rectum is well lubricated, as well as his penis.

4) RELAX! If you are not relaxed or anxious, your muscles will tense up. The tenser you are, the more likely it will hurt. If you are relaxed, things should go rather smoothly.

5) Tell him to go slow! He should probably start by using one of his fingers. If that doesn't hurt, then he can progress to jut using the tip of his penis. If this is still comfortable, give him permission to go further. If at any point you feel a lot of pain...STOP! Maybe he needs to go slower. Maybe you can't handle it at all. Just remember, you should never do anything that hurts.

If you follow these steps, the experience should be at the very least...tolerable. You may even like it. A lot of women like to simultaneously masturbate, while he is going in and out of you. Anyway, whatever you decide to do, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.

Answer 3

If he cancels his proposal to you because you did not want to have anal sex then honey that just tells you what he was after..
I personally don't think anal sex is right...I work at a health dept..and I've learned too much about it..Having anal sex too much gets you to the point where your muscles are so worn out you can't hold your bowel movements any longer..Of course this is after practicing it many times...The anus is not made for sexual pleasure and that is the reason why that happens...If you do decide to do it, do it because you want to and not because you feel pressured to do it..If he loves you he will respect that decision..And there are other ways to give your partner pleasure and it does not necessarily mean letting him enter you throught the back..Good Luck!!

Answer 4

Your mistake was to blackmail him, attach something like that to an action from him.

Now you will have to face the consequences.

I don't really believe that anyone would propose with the idea of getting anal sex, but I can read what is in his mind.

Anyway I never heard of people that died or had to go to a hospital as result of having anal sex. I don't think pain kept you from having sex, nor will keep you from having a baby.

If you don't want to have anal sex and is afraid of his reaction, you should tell him before he proposes, so you won't take the risk of him backing up.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Drama, what you are entering into is supposed to be a lifetime commitment. Honey, you need to make sure you and your fiance can communicate with each other. You need to be honest with him on your expectations on marriage and he does too.

I'd bet that he's marrying you not just for anal sex, but because there are some things about you that make him want to be with you for the rest of your life.

Your wedding and wedding night is just one 24 hour period, but what is important here is the day after the wedding until the time your marriage ends (hopefully till death do you part many years from now).

You need to sit down with him and talk over your concerns.

Anal can be done, just with a lot of love and special lotions so it's not so painful. My dh wanted to try it and after we did, one time was enough for both of us.

I'll bet that this is not that big of a deal as you might think.

Best of luck to you for a happy married life with Mr. Right.

Answer 6

Shut up. A) It feels good if you do it right, B) if he cancels his proposal then he is an idiot anyways. Use lots of good lube... (Wet Platinum) and make sure to work it in slowly. You be the one working it in, he will try to shove it and it will hurt. It is a muscle it will relax just like any other. Practice on a well lubed toy so you will know how to handle the real thing.

Answer 7

If he takes back a proposal because you won't have anal sex then he is not the man for you in the first place.

Answer 8

Sweetie, if you offered to have anal with him just to get him to propose, or if he proposed just to get you to do it, then you have bigger issues to think about than whether it's going to hurt or not. Are you really willing to do something that you consider repulsive just to please him? Take a hard look at the reasons why the two of you are vowing to spend THE REST OF YOUR LIFES TOGETHER.

But if you go for it, use a condom for higiene, (You DO know that stuff does come out, right?) and a water based lub so it slips right in. Do not use vaseline, petroleum based products damage condoms, and getting a little tipsy before you do it doesn't hurt. :)

Answer 9

Relax, Relax and lube. While he's pushing in, you push back like you're having a poo, this will open your anal passage and make it easier to insert penis. If you tense up then it will tighten and hurt. Anal can be a great experience, but only if you RELAX the first few times, and you certainly will go back for more. Maybe you can do him in the bum too, he'll love it as much as you.

Answer 10

if you said something you have to follow though. You have to be a lady of your word. You said you would and if you don't your a lier. simple, I would marry if you didn't follow. Your love isn't strong if your not will to please him. and make him happy. And anal sex does hurt if in a hurry and no lude is use, But you may love it, since most females do love it after the first time, just like the first time you had sex. it hurt a bit and then it is gone. same thing.