How do I improve my five-year-old son's social skills?

Question

My five-year-old son is a sweet, cute, healthy kid. He's doing great in preschool and seems academically well-prepared to start kindergarten in September.

There's something about him that bothers me, though - he seems to act immature, even compared with kids around his age. He sometimes lapses into babytalk around his friends (I just caught him doing it this morning with another five-year-old boy, who then teased him for sounding like a baby). I've heard another child call him on this behavior a few months ago.

Also, he has a pretty explosive temper. He doesn't hit or bite other children, but he will scream at other children when he's unhappy with them and become physically aggitated (he's about 4 feet tall despite only being 5, so he must be scary-looking to some of the other kids).

To make things worse, I think some of his pre-school buddies, the boys especially, have taken to pushing his buttons just to watch him react and this makes him desolve into tears. Ideas?

Answer 1

1st...Enroll him in a children's class of mixed martial arts. (Our son just turned 7 and he's been doing this for 2 1/2 years.) It will help him to develop confidence and be able to defend himself if needed, rather than exploding in a temper. Our son is tall for his age is very passive as well. He has learned to handle other kids in a constructive way and now the older kids look up to him. He has become a natural leader amongst his peers. Considering he was a whiner just 3 years ago...we are amazed at the change in him. (BTW, he takes a mixture of Brazilian Ju Jitsu and Muey Thai Kickboxing)

2nd...Do you go to church? If you get him involved with a good local church that has a good size population of children, then he will have opportunity to develop good social skills around those kids pretty quickly while you have opportunity to observe and correct his interaction with other children. You can't do this when he's at school.

I hope this is helpful to you.

Oh...and here is my oldest son's picture...
http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=185176762&size=l

Answer 2

I also have a five year old son. However, he is in Kindergarten. His teacher is very by the book and I was worried about my son's success in the class just as you are. However, he has learned so much because of her. I think that a teacher who cares lets a child know the things they do that are right and wrong. If they didn't then that child was given up on. That is sad. I think his behavior is normal for a five year old. Just remember, when her reaches Kindergarten it is a whole different ball park. Teachers don't mess around. They are treated like little adults. My son is overly active and a couple of people suggested for me to put him on Ritalin. However, I feel that drugs are never the answer. You just need to find the best way for him to learn that's all. Not all children learn and act the same. Just because he has more energy than most doesn't mean we should give them drugs. I know some adults who would love to bottle some up and save it for later! Ha. Ha. Just love him, teach him right from wrong, and continue to find ways to help him both physically and mentally succeed.

Answer 3

Have you tried talking to him about his behaviors? It sounds like you are observing his interactions with other kids and noticing things. Which is good!

The hard part, is that if you call a kid on something in front of friends, it can make things worse for them because the kids may have something else to tease about. The other hard part to this is that if you don't correct the child right after they do something wrong, they may not know what you are talking about when you approach them about it an hour later. So, if you are observing him and see him doing something wrong, you might want to try to come up with an excuse to pull him to the side and correct him.

Does your son have a baby brother or sister? My daughter is 4 and she regresses into babytalk some times to try to get attentions because she sees that it works for her sibling who is one. Just a thought.

You mentioned that other kids are picking on him. If he just takes it and doesn't respond, he's setting himself up for long term confidence problems and being the target of bullies. You also don't want him to be violent either.

Just thoughts...not answers...

Answer 4

Don't worry as soon as he will start school he will see other kids behavior and all be better. My son his 12 and his 6 feet tall about that don't worry either later in life he could be a basketball or football :) They used to call my son " The tallest kid in school " until he graduate from elemantary. Maybe keep him busy with sport or craft everyday interact with others and you are the mother so guide him when he change his behavior.

Answer 5

With taller kids like that, it takes them time to "catch up" if you will. Hopefully he'll grow out of it soon.

And I know you don't want to hear this, but kids tend to mimic what they see and hear at home, so be mindful about how you personally act around him. I'm sure that's not the case, but just to be on the safe side.

The only other logical remedy is to move to another city and start fresh. That, of course, is the final option if things get really bad.

Answer 6

I would first talk to him and have him explain using his OWN words why he does this. Perhaps he is feeling insecure at those moments. It's important to let him say it though and for you to not put words into his mouth. Otherwise you'll never really know if it truly came from him. If you don't get far, then perhaps a visit with a trained therapist would help. Good luck!

Answer 7

The best thing you can do for him is to make him deal with it! Don't interrupt. Let the teasing continue, etc. He'll figure it out.

Answer 8

Try and get him to get close and social to family members first and then expand his options to schoolmates, boys and girls.