i was a victim my family has no idea how to help me and i am still trying to cope with it. HOW DO I OVERCOME MY FEARS OF EVERYTHING.!! My life hasn't been the same it is a struggle i cant go out alone i am always watching by back.
2006-07-14 09:05:31 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's a terrible thing that happened to you and the fact that your family has no idea how to help you doesn't make it any easier on you.
The way you are feeling right now is natural, you had a terrible thing happen to you and this man or men did not only violate your body but they took away a part of you and put something else for it back, something you never asked for and that gives you so much pain and fear.
You have to go on with your life and that is such a very hard thing to do and you need help in your healing process because it's not wise to try and do it on your own. You need understanding, love and support of people who know what you have been trough and who can help you and who know that it takes time before you can go on again and who will always be there for you when you need ventilate your emotions about it.
In most cities over here there is a women's support group where they give help and support and also assistance in finding the right therapist who can help you.
Don't try to do this on your own I've tried it but I found out the hard way that I couldn't and I made things extra hard on myself because of it. It's important for you to find help and it's also a good idea to go and take lessons in self defense to give you more self confidence again.
I hope you find the right help. I'm thinking about you and I wish you all the help, love and understanding that you need to find your way in life again.
2006-07-14 09:55:17 · answer #1 · answered by aysha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a victim of sexual abuse as well. It happened to me from the age of 4, and was ongoing until I was 6. I can't tell you one specific way to cope, because everyone is different. I can tell you it's never going to go away, it will stay with you forever, but that doesn't mean you should let in own you. This shows that you are a survivor, a fighter. Everyday will be less of a struggle than the day before. You can get through all the pain you're feeling. If you need to talk to someone who understands you, there are many reputable counselors in the world, find the one you are comfortable with in your area. Some days you'll feel like giving up, but just remember, you are a survive. Stay strong.
2006-07-14 09:28:44 · answer #2 · answered by outlandsishlady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, when you have that feeling of fear or a flash back you need to tell yourself that you are safe and that was in the past. Remind yourself frequently about how safe you are. Don't go places without friends or family if it makes you uncomfortable. You need time to heal and it is perfectly okay to have the feelings that you have. Next breathe deeply. Keep reassuring yourself that you are safe.............and continue to breathe deep until the feeling or flash back go away.
Your life won't be the same but, it will get better. Find someone you trust ............the best is a therapist and talk about your feelings. That person will suggest books to read that help you better deal with what you are feeling and will help you to see that it happens to all who are sexually abused. The therapist will never force you to talk about anything that you don't want to.........they will simply be there to listen.
Many agencies have information for families on how to help loved ones cope with sexual abuse. It's not their fault that they don't know what to do. It's not your fault that it happened to you.
But, it is something that you can overcome together.
2006-07-14 14:13:11 · answer #3 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what I don't think anyone ever truly recovers from that! I was raped before and I blamed myself because I was out trusting two guys and a girl who I thought were my friends but really weren't! I have come to terms it wasn't my fault and is never the victim's fault! It takes a lot of healing and counseling to be able to cope with things once again! It's hard because I have a daughter and I afraid. I believe I have a strong state of mind so I don't dwell on what happened to me but I will say my heart goes out to any one who has been a victim of sexual abuse. Just the thought makes my stomach ache turn because humans have a brain as well as animals. However when a human is sexual often times it's emotionally invoked and as for animals it is in their nature to be sexual only for mating purposes. So when some "degenerate" individual decides to exploit anyone through sexual abuse I think the should be put to death because it is unnatural behavior and a diseased mind, in a rabid state who will continual act on this!!! I hate it!!!
2006-07-14 09:25:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Growing up as a child i was sexually, mentally, physically abused in the worst way. The way I survive is I made a promise to my self that I wouldn't let my children go through what I have gone through. I remember what was done as though it were yesterday. Take a self defense course study it had and with all your might. Make the same promise that I did and things won't seem so bad later in time . You know time heals all wounds.
2006-07-14 09:23:29 · answer #5 · answered by big T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. You need professional help or a support group to help you cope. It will never go away I am sorry to say. Kind of like your child's death or death of a loved one (mother or father). You just have to live with it. Support groups have been through the same thing you have had happen to you and they are great in helping. I will suggest one that has God first in all their help. With God in your corner you have a much better change on returning to normal or as normal as a person can be. Trust in God to help you. Read your bible as it has answers to make you cope. God knows you were not the one who did bad and He wants you to be happy. Go with friends you can trust to get out and around again. Soon you will be able to do the things you once did. Just trust in God for His help.
2006-07-14 09:26:08 · answer #6 · answered by DREW W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, I have it for a whole different reason, my father shot himself in front of me when i was 12.. .my best friend was raped, and they also diagnosed her with it.
its the same thing as the vetrans of war has.
there is counslers out there that can help you overcome this. I am 28 and just now getting the help I need.. I am on welbutrin, and have a counsler that specializes in ptsd
I wish you luck, and if you need someone to talk to e-mail me
2006-07-14 09:44:31 · answer #7 · answered by steveangela1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider counseling, Tae Kwan Do, and Target Practice. It's not wrong to be afraid. There are bad people out there. But you need to learn to deal with your fears so you can live a healthy, happy life. At the same time, it's not wrong to be afraid.
2006-07-14 09:13:30 · answer #8 · answered by That Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't overcome it by yourself..you should definitely find someone to speak with, maybe at a local crisis center. Unfortunately the only thing your family can do to help you is just love you. Good Luck
2006-07-14 09:09:46 · answer #9 · answered by just thinkin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you had to go through that! Time will help you but, in the moment you need to go to a GOOD counselor / therapist they will talk with you listen to you let you scream,cry do whatever it is you need to do to start your healing process. now, it won't be an overnight cure but, if you stick with it and stay confident you can be happy again and not so afraid. Good Luck Sweetie!!!
2006-07-14 09:18:54 · answer #10 · answered by JACKIE M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋