adopted: what should i do to bury the pain?

Question

i'm adopted and i don't know how to deal wil the pain

consuler don't help, parents and friends don't understand

what should i do

i'm 14 and have tried 6 counsulers scence i was 12[ i don't want to talk to another counsuler as long as i live]

Answer 1

I am sure that what I write will be the same many will write. There are many reasons a person will put up their child for adoption. They just are to young, they feel they don't have the money to support a baby, they are unwed and ashamed, and the list goes on and on. Most do it because they want the baby to have more than they can give it and hope they are correct. They have to live with what they have done as you have to. On the other hand, be glad that someone wanted you enough to adopt you. They did not have to, they WANTED TO. They did not have to love you because they had you, but they love you because of you and, most likely, you filled a void in their life. I understand that once you reach majority you can search for the parent. Quite often the answer you get is not all that good. Your new parents are there for you. Love them, be a good child and make them proud they adopted you. It is really great to be loved enough by your parents now.

Answer 2

Is finding out you are adopted causing you pain? Why?
Unless you are in a stinker of a family and the differences are so magnified, why shud you care if you are adopted? Dont!
See for yourself the families who adopted and are ok, see for your self the families that DID NOT adopt and are NOT OK. Does it matter now? No!
If you feel that somehow, somewhere, a part of you and your origin is lost and cheapened by the fact that it is kept anonymous...... then consider this:

For those who DO KNOW where they come from and who their ancestors were. It is NEVER personal. Go check it out. You'll see. All it does is give a boost to their insides. But like every Royal House knows, the first "King" was always the toughest roughest rouge who proclaimed himself King. Not some ancestor bequeathing the title upon them.

So, .. be a rouge yourself. Be the pioneer of your "self". Think only of God as your only real/omni-parent and believe & have faith. Be your new King. Get busy doing this and you wont have to bury the pain cos THERE WONT BE ANY left!!

Good luck. And BTW, when you feel good about yourself. Then, and only then, shud you try to see where your roots lie. Its just a nice final piece of the puzzle. Not the whole picture (of you).

bye

Answer 3

It's hard being adopted; I can understand. There's a certain feeling of "not good enough" or abandonment that comes with it. Many of my friends have expressed this to me, and it's very painful, I know. My best suggestion is to read up on coping mechanisms. It's good to have a diary, that's what helps me blow my thoughts out and keep me sane. I'm also pretty sure that there are support groups out on the internet for people who have been adopted. One of my best suggestions on how to bury pain is to just try to focus on something else, be it a game, music, the smell of incense, or even studies. Soon, you will forget most of the pain. Some of my most horrible moments of my life were buried like this. If you need to talk write me a letter.

Answer 4

You need to stop being dramatic about being adopted. I was adopted. Ok so for whatever reason my parents didnt keep me. However I as well as you were lucky enough to have someone that picked us out and wanted us. There is no reason to be sad about it or depressed. If after talking to all these people you feel no better then there is nothing that can be done for you except to say suck it up and use it to your advantage. You could be a role model as to why people should adopt and how to help other people or adoptees. Dont wallow in self pity, there is more important stuff in the world.

Answer 5

I adopted my daughter, why is there pain? Are your adoptive parents mean to you? I know that i took my daughter away from a very bad situation and into a great and loving home. Where she lived before, she was severely neglected with 7 other children. I'd like to think when she grows up, she'll be thankful to have two parents that love and support her unconditionally, even if she is adopted.

Answer 6

I know about your pain. As an adoptive parent I have seen it all too often. The bottom line is that you were chosen not given. Give your new parents a chance. Take the time to reach out and see what love can be like. They just might surprise you.....who knows you might even surprise yourself.

Answer 7

Love your adopted parents for surely they love you. Parents are there, I know you are thinking why, don't go into that trap, live for NOW leave the past behind, Life is a circle it may be some day you will meet your biological family. Be good to your adopted parents ,think of them don't leave them out of your life let them know why you are in pain I think they can help. Good luck.

Answer 8

i was adopted as well. I never had much of a problem with it b/c my parents were open and honest from the beginning. I looked at it like my mother loved me so much she let me go knowing I would have a better life that way. But everyone goes through things like that differently. If you want to chat more, email me at [e-mail]. I'm no counselor but I will listen!!:)

Answer 9

Why in pain? You are lucky enough to have parents that wanted a child so bad that they went through all the red tape and cost to get you. You birth mother was probably some scared young lady who would have loved to take care of you but couldn't give you the life she thought you deserved. She loved you so much that she selflessly gave you to another family so that YOU could have a better life. You are so lucky to have people that love you that much.

Answer 10

Remember that it probably was not that your biological parents didn't love you, they sacrificed raising a child so you could have the things in life you deserve (financially) And your adopted parents picked you. That's something special. At least you found out early. My mom was 32 before she was told she was adopted.