For a while I didn't have a job,and my cousin asked me to watch her two week old daughter.The child is now three months old,I'm still watching her,and I'm still getting paid $40 a week for forty hours a week of babysitting.I buy packages of diapers, wipes and formula because often they aren't in the diaper bag when she's dropped off.(we live 20 miles out of town, so also figure gas getting to the store and back)The mother has paid me in quarters one week, and she's beginning to be late on paying me.I have two children, so I pretty much know what I'm doing, but she complains about how I take care of her daughter(she wanted me to keep the child up all day at a month old so she would"sleep all night") Where to draw the line between family and business?Should I feel taken advantage of?What is the right way to approach these problems?She says she will be geting on gov' subsidized child care to pay me, but the way she wants to do it is illegal.To top it off I really love the baby.
2006-07-14 08:10:01 · 10 answers · asked by munesliver 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
the baby's mother lives with her mom and dad,she makes $2,000 a month,and with me having two children of my own, unless me and my husband work opposite shifts (been there, done that, we both HATED IT) or I get a job where I work only during the school year, it wouldn't be worth it for me to work. The mother is 20yrs old and not very resposible.I don't fear for the baby's safety, but I love her so much that I don't want to see her go to a daycare where she will get sick more often. She put down on the gov' assisted child care that her mother watches the baby, and SAYS that all of the money will come to me($500 a month)but that's illegal
2006-07-14 09:04:22 · update #1
You need to add your expenses for the week and give her the bill. You are only getting a dollar an hour, that shouldn't include supplies. If she gets upset, tell her you can't sit anymore because you're job hunting. She might qualify for government subsidy on child care, but you can't get it because you don't have a daycare license.
2006-07-14 08:25:23 · answer #1 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is time to speak up and tell her what is what! What will she do fire you?I doubt that it is too hard to find a trusting babysitter now days and she knows it. ALL working moms know it! Tell her if you are going to have to buy all the things this baby needs she is goin to have to pay you back and if she doesn't then the next morning she brings the baby don't answer the door let her miss a day from work and see how it feels... The sad part of this whole thing is the Innocent baby that will probably have to do without...that isn't fair. How come she paid you in quarters one week? If she is working she should have paper money right? unless she has a problem you don't know about...Never know now days!!! ok, you say you love this baby, that is GREAT but, do you KNOW that the Mommy is being the best mommy she can be? No mistreating or anything going on is it???!
2006-07-14 08:29:35 · answer #2 · answered by JACKIE M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is getting over on you and should most certainly not be doing that. There is a way that you could receive legitimate government reimbursement for child care... many people do it. The government would pay you nicely for what you do...she'd never see the money. YOU SHOULD look into it, you'd be the one having to provide the information. I know MANY daycare providers who make an excellent living. She has got to bring you a box full of items you give her on a list or you simply should NOT accept the baby at the door. It is so unfair. Make her late for work one morning and it will stop. Tell her how you feel and tell her you don't mind helping, but this one sided arrangement can't set you back. Give her a shopping list each month. If she can't deal with it, she can go somewhere else and pay $400 a month for childcare. Hope it works out for you. You deserve better.
2006-07-14 08:16:46 · answer #3 · answered by Sleek 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one. The thing that stood out to me is that she wants to something illegal. I would NOT be involved if it is illegal because it would come back and involve you. My question is How much does she make? If she is barely getting by and making minimum wage she should be able to get assistance easy. If she is making a good wage and doesn't want to pay child care out of her pocket and trying to get the gov to pay then that's a problem.
She should be responsible for bringing diapers wipes and formula unless that is something that you said you would provide. At a daycare she would have to provide those.
On the note that she complains on the way you are taking care of her daughter you could suggest that if she doesn't like the way you do things then she should look for someone else to watch her.
It's hard when it is family. Because you are family you will be taken advantage of. If you continue to watch your cousin then you need to set up some rules and stick to them, or it will could worse.
I sort of went through a similar situation with my brother and my nephew. I got the 'you stay home anyway' and 'feel sorry for him because he is going through such a hard time' and 'you are family you shouldn't charge.' I told my brother that this is just not working out. He was mad at me for a little bit, but he got over it.
2006-07-14 08:41:13 · answer #4 · answered by mom of 2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow.you definitely being taken advantage off.a babysitter should be getting paid 10-15 dollars an hour.i have a godchild that i watch and i do not get paid but i love that child too.he is my life after his mom died.if you need the money financially,then stop babysitting but if you are doing cuz of fun then keep doing it ,because that boy will probably thank you one day.
2006-07-14 08:15:38 · answer #5 · answered by jenny 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry...this is a hard position...because you've bonded with the baby already...i understand how you feel because I have a relative who takes advantage of me too...i'm still a teenager....i've been baby-sitting her baby girl since she was 2 months old....for 5 months, she paid me nothing and i later learned that she thought it was my job to take care of her kid, because she thinks its not 100% her job to do it as a mother, and she needs time to herself (crazy huh?)....and when the baby was 7 months, her mum insisted that she pay me, she got upset about it and her mum would pay me instead...recently, i got cheated by her, like you....she told me she would pay me 6 dollars an hour to baby-sit her child, but i told her i didn't want to do much because i'm on summer holiday and i wanted time for myself as well....she told me that she wouldn't make me do much...well, she paid me 150 bucks up front and said it was a starting payment....well, she ended up making me take care of her daughter 10 hours a day for 6 days...which equals up to 360 dollars....i told her i didn't want to do this much and complained to her, but she would just leave her daughter to me, and go out and not come back at the time she said that she would....also, like you, i've bonded with her baby and really enjoy being around her....but i understand that you feel irritated when you take care of her because you know her mother is a cheat....i can tell you that a child cannot stay up all day at a month old....that's crazy...i think all babies at that age wake up at night...you have every right to feel taken advantage of......this is very hard, i understand you, because you love the baby already and have bonded to it, and you don't mind the baby being around, but the mom is taking advantage of you....i guess, i would say that you should tell the mom or the mom's parents about it....whichever is easier for you...tell them how you feel and you think that her solution is illegal....and basically, tell them how you really feel about it....i'm no longer speaking to the mother but i still get to see the baby as the baby's grandmother takes care of her and we see each other often....i don't know your cousin's parents, but my relative's mother is very angry at her daughter and doesn't like her attitude....she has spoken to her daughter about her issues with her, but the daughter doesn't want to change....she still feels its other people's job to take care of her baby because we are family....she doesn't have any money issues, as like your cousin, she stays with her parents who are supporting her....i hope you still get to see the baby....sighh...i hope she stops taking advantage of you this way....
2006-07-14 18:17:07 · answer #6 · answered by blue_bee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is taking advantage of you. I would stop babysitting the baby.
2006-07-14 08:52:44 · answer #7 · answered by latingirl0527 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move
2006-07-14 08:13:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, it is family, so the pay shouldn't matter. make the best of your time while your there. do something fun while your there, like bring friends over.
2006-07-14 08:15:12 · answer #9 · answered by ojndoanj 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well u could get paid more
2006-07-14 08:13:07 · answer #10 · answered by Samantha P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋