why do caucasions feel it is okay to say just about anything to blacks?

Question

I am a Black female with braids, and I am constantly amazed by the number of caucasions who will just ask me all kinds of questions. Does it hurt? Is it all my hair? How long is my real hair? Does the ponytail hurt? Can I touch it? What's it feel like? Do they ask other caucasions with longer hair is it theres? Do there ponytails hurt? And would they walk up to another caucasion and just ask to touch their hair? Most of the time I just laugh it off, but sometimes it is really annoying. Especially when they are perfect strangers I may see in the elevator at work. ( I work in a professional building) I'm not trying to downgrade anyone, I'm just curious as to why they don't see where these types of questions are personal and invasive. Or do some still believe that black people don't have the right to privacy? Thanks for letting me vent!

hold on!! hold on!!! I didn't necessarily say it was a problem, as a matter of fact, I said it doesnt bother me most of the time. The only time it really does bother me is when it is a complete stranger and they feel like they can just touch my hair. I dont go up to anyone and ask to touch their hair, that to me is just rude. I work in an office with 2 white women and we've had this conversation between us, I just wanted other opinions. Relax! It isnt that serious!!

Answer 1

It's not white vs black, per se. It's just something different. My mom's boyfriend is a super tall white guy and people feel it's okay to interrupt him at dinner to ask how tall he is and if it's hard to get in doorways and all kinds of stuff. White people usually don't do cornrows or tiny braids and extensions so it's simply something different to them and therefore fascinating. I had a black friend that did braids growing up so it's not interesting to me whatsoever but to white people who don't know, they're just curious. I wouldn't take it as an insult and I wouldn't take it as a racist thing at all, honestly. People that seem different to one (or many) groups of people have the task of tolerating sometimes stupid questions. I wouldn't be surprised if amputees, people suffering with dwarfism, even people with tons of tattoos experience things very similar to what you're complaining about. It just appears racist because the braids are very common in black culture but uncommon in white culture so most of the questions come from white people only.

Answer 2

I'm a caucasian female and a natural redhead. Other people, white women AND black always come up and want to touch my hair. It's long and very vivid red. I have fair skin so the contrast is really noticable. Mostly I get the "Are you a natural redhead?" from women and the every annoying "Does the carpet match the curtains?" from men. I know how you feel. I went to a cosmetology school for nearly a year that was predominantly black and I got the same response from most of my black classmates about MY natural red hair. I think it's just simple curiosity really.

Answer 3

Well people can be a bit too friendly and over do an invitation touching our hair and stuff in public but i believe it is an issue however, and we allow it in a certain sense due to the sort of black movies made. We laugh at ourselves when we are said to be wearing a weave and whatever so its obvious that caucasians will do the same. Also they too wear extentions and that sort of stuff so why can't we. We don't have to settle for less we can do and have all things that any other race has, plus we have some of our own unique things like briads. It would never look better on any othere but we african americans, we black ppl!

Answer 4

Well I think you are just being overly sensitive. But I am a white female and I work with a lot of black females. I never knew white people and black people did so many things differently. I mean I have asked them questions when they are talking about their hair because I am interested! Now I would never go up to a stranger and begin asking questions, but I would if it was somebody I fely comfy around. It is not that we are trying to be mean or anything we are just interested! I am interested in other cultures and races other than mine and that is why I ask. It is not that we are trying to be rude , it is just that we care and want to learn more about your culture! And you should leave race out of this because this has nothing to do with what color you are! If I was close to someone other than a white or black female I would ask them questions too! It is not like everyone just focuses in on black females hair! I am white and I have had many black males and females come up to me and ask me how I do my hair! So feel assured that it is not just you and it is not just the black race getting questioned!

Answer 5

To answer your original question "why do caucasions feel it is okay to say just about anything to blacks?": It's because they can!! Unfortunately we can not control what comes out of peoples mouths, as ignorant as the statements may be. What you can do is give "them" insight on what they are questioning you about.

Most of the time, because our hair texture is completely different than ours, they have curiosity about it. And then when "we" start adding additional hair, colors, tracks, braids, etc....that's just another reason to ask more questions. Because the majority of white people don't manipulate their hair in extreme fashion, it's interesting to them.

I have natural hair. NO chemicals in it. And because it's not "normal" to see black women wearing her hair in it's natural state, I get plenty of the:

"Can I touch it?" "Is it soft?" "What doe it feel like?" and so forth.

I, do however, draw the line at someone just walking up and touching my hair. Just because you can see it, doesn't mean that you have the right to put your hands on me. That's when your rights to privacy have been invaded.

Do I believe that it's a "white" thing?? NO!! I just think that it's curiosity. My approach to the situation is as follows:

Person: WoW!! Is that your real hair?
Me: Yes.
Person: It looks so soft. Can I touch it?? (while in the process of reaching for my head)
Me: NOOOOO!!!! (while dodging the hand coming toward my head) I don't feel comfortable with people touching my hair.

I also have a tendancy to tell people to "google it". Not to be a smart ***, but to give them the power to inform themselves.

Answer 6

Its not a race card, its the stereotype card. I dont think you are sensitive at all. I think everyone reacts differently about different things and situations.

I do feel that people get curious about different things. You should not let it bother you to much. For people to come on here as if they have never done or said anything that was brought on by a stereotype then they are lying. It is not a race card. Stop trying to make yourself look good by saying you are not racist and you have never prejudged before.

I get a little irritated when someone asks me a question or assumes something about me because they see black skin, but peopel do that, not to offend, but to try to gain acceptance from someone who is different. Next time that happens ask them something about themselves that you want to know, or hell even let them know more about it... Or tell them why don't they try to get braids for themselves. They might say something along the lines of a stereotype, but its cool to see people look ashamed once they figured out what they said.
I don't find stereotypical remarks offensive, because when you know a person personally stereotypes normally disappears.

Answer 7

I don't think it has ANYTHING to do with rights or privacy. Some people just exist under a rock and have never known someone with that type of hair style. I'm white and get the same kinds of questions from other people (white and black) about my mowhawk or various hairstyles that I've had. Don't be offended, some people are just sheltered. :)

Answer 8

I am caucasion and I would like to tell you right now that not all of us are like that. And I suppose that yes some are. However, they are simply curious i suppose, some people ask people from different countries about stuff too... I dont beleive its anything personal, theyre just curious about the differences, its simply natural and theres nothing we can do to stop it

Answer 9

I would think youd be flattered that people notice the time and effort you put into doing your hair. I guess its like when your pregnant, and EVERYBODY wants to touch your belly. You've got something not everyone has, and theyre interrested. Would you be as offended if it were your figure they were noticing? Or something that isn't something that a black girl has? I think youre being sensitive, smile, they probably think its a compliment!

Answer 10

People never fail to amaze me. I get asked questions when I'm out with my kids. Mostly "Are they all yours?" I have four children. My oldest is Caucasian and my three youngest are mixed. I think it's also because I look like I'm in my early twenties. But people can be rude. I'm so sorry.