Help me!! I'm 17 and pregnant, my boyfriend wants me to have an abortion. What should i do?

Question

Me and my boyfriend had a good relationship. I mean yeah we had our problems but we got through them. He would scream at me like once every two weeks and then he would say he was sorry and i would forgive him. Then he cheated on me twice i found out and left him but 3 weeks later i went back with him cause we had been together for two years already. 1 month later after we got back together i got pregnant it was an accident but now hes blaming me. i'm already 2 months no one know only me and him i dont know what to do. He tells me I should die because i ruined his life. I dont know if to have an aboriton or leave my boyfriend and have the baby. Can someone please help me im desperate!!!!!!!!

Sometimes i think about it and i think that the best thing to do is leave him. But then i think about myself and the baby and i want for the baby to have his daddy because sometimes hes really nice with me but then out of the nothing he gets mad with me. I never thought that a men could ever treat his girlfriend like this. He tells me he loves me and that im the perfect girl for him. And i think he tells me that im the perfect girl for him because i always forgive him and i always do everything he wants me to do. Sometimes i tell him its over so he starts to make me feel bad for him so we stay together. I know this is not a good realtionship but he tells me everything is going to change. I want to believe him but i caint. As far as telling my parents i dont want to because my dad just got out of a drug addiction and i know this would ruin everything again. And i know everyone is going to be mad at me.

I'm not the one that wants to have an abortion. I know that if i do that i would regret it all my life. I want my baby. Since the day i knew i was pregnant i've been thinking about this baby. I already want to hold him in my arms. I know that im too young to have a baby but like yall said i need to be responsible. I don't wanna drop out of high school because im already going to the 12th grade so i want to get my diploma. I want to tell my parents but like i said i don't want to dissapoint my parents i know this will hurt my dad a lot. I think the best thing to do for myself is to leave my boyfriend, tell my parens and wait for the consequences. I just hope that they can help me. They dont know what i've been through this past two years. Almost every night i was crying in my bed by myself because my boyfriend would scream at me. Sometimes i feel like telling my parents about the things he does to me but then i would just cause more problems and plus i'm ashame to tell them everything.

Answer 1

The most important thing to focus on right now is protecting your baby and yourself. If you go to a crisis pregnancy center near you, they can help you work through all the issues that you're dealing with and give you all the help you need. Their services are completely free and totally confidential. You can find a center near you here:

http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp

In addition to giving you good advice and emotional support, they can provide you with referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance and free maternity and baby supplies. Some centers can even give you a free ultrasound so you can see what your baby looks like right now.

At two months, your baby has a beating heart, recordable brain waves, and tiny fingers and toes. She can suck her thumb and feel pain. To see photos of what your baby looks like, see:

http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm

If you need reinforcement to help you do the right thing, please check out these sites:

Photos of Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html

A Four-Minute, Must-See Video on Abortion:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com

Pain Perception in the Unborn:
http://www.advocatesfortheinnocent.com/fetalpain.html

Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
http://www.standupgirl.com/site/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=218&Itemid=40

Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.lifeissues.org/ru486/deaths.htm

Support for Pregnant Teens:
http://standupgirl.com/site/index.php

Advice on Telling Parents About a Pregnancy:
http://lifehouse.glorifyjesus.com/questions/pregnancy/tellingparents.html

You can do the right thing. You are a mommy right now, and your baby is depending on you for love and protection. Don't let her down.

Answer 2

OK- get out of that relationship. Now it is just verbal, but later it will be physical. They don't change. Do you really want to bring a baby into this relationship? Why would you want to raise a baby like that because he is nice sometimes. I think you need to keep the baby and go home. Tell your parents that you are going to stay in school. Tell them what you have been going through in this relationship. They will help you. If I found out that my daughter was in a relationship like this and then she was pregnant - I would be more upset at how she has been getting abused more then the baby. I am telling you from a parents standpoint - tell your parents and leave this guy. It will only get worse, then you will be pregnant again with one kid already and getting beat every time he feels like it. He may even harm the kids. You don't want them to be raised in that kind of environment because they will grow up thinking that is normal and that is how they are to be treated, or how they should treat a woman. Depending on if it is a boy or girl. You are two months pregnant and have a baby to think about. Your needs don't matter anymore. The baby is the most important thing in your life from this point on. All your decisions need to be based on the well being of your child.
Go Home to your parents and let them help you.

Answer 3

You have 2 choices here - and the decision is blaringly obvious.

choice a) you, at 17 - go along with having the baby, drop out of high school, have a baby with a father that is not willing to be a part of it, you'll be a broke single parent. You can't go to college, because you'll have diapers and baby formula to worry about. Your child will grow up to continue this cycle. They won't get a good education, be raised wtih 'daddy issues' (and if your baby is a girl -- then you're in serious trouble there) and basically -- you'll live the rest of your life tied down because you weren't adult enough to make important decisions.

choice b) you call a planned parenthood in your city NOW (I put a link below), -- to tell your parents is your decision (if they're really religious, or you think they'll do something like kick you out of the house or something -- I would just keep it to yourself to avoid making bigger problems -- just confide in your best friend and have them help you through the couple of days you'll need -- or if you have an aunt you can trust - that may be a good idea). Schedule yourself for next week or tomorrow if possible to go in an have an abortion. (let's avoid all the political, religious stuff, and think about you). When you go in - say your 18 [so you don't need your parents signature, etc...](you don't have to show any ID (from what I know btw). It will be finished in about 3 minutes -- you'll wake up and you can take a hold of your life again.
NOW...
dump this idiot little boy you've been dating .. and LEARN from it. Forget about him -- he'll be nothing to you but a distant memory in a couple of years when you're older and more mature. You'll probably think to yoursel, "what the hell was I EVEN THINKING?" wasting my time with this idiot.
Lessons learned:
a) ALWAYS use a condom (not just because of pregnancy! You could have had bigger, more serious problems and its NOT worth it)
b) at the FIRST sign of thinking a guy is not treating you like you should be treated - dump him.

To be really CLEAR: Have the abortion (but HURRY do NOT let TIME pass you by), and LEAVE the "boyfriend" - whether you do it before or after - who cares, but DROP HIM.

Answer 4

First of all leave that a s s hole. And then, think about what YOU want. Are you ready to raise a child? Do you believe in abortion? Have you considered adoption? You have to figure out what works for YOU, not anyone else. I strongly recommend that you talk to your mother, or another adult that you feel close to, you need someone to lean on right now, and your boyfriend obviously is not going to support you through this. I am a single mother (now, I haven't always been) and I had my son when I was young. I can honestly say that while I was not ready to be a mommy, I wouldn't trade it for the world now. My son is my life, and I love every minute of every day that I'm with my baby. Being a young single parent is hard, and there are a lot of young single women with children who still do a lot of s h i t they shouldn't. You have to make the decision about what you're willing to give up and what you're not. However, it is not YOUR fault that you're pregnant, if it had only been you engaged in the sexual act, sister you wouldn't be in the position you are now. Tell that creep to take a hike and start taking control of your life. Keep your head up, and remember, no one has to live your life but you, so do what's right in your heart, not what will make that jerks life easier.

Answer 5

First off and please don't take this the wrong way but what the H&*(&&*^&^$%^ were you thinking? If hes already yelling at you and your this young what do you think he will be like later those are signs of an abuser. Then after cheating on you once thats shame on him you might can get over that but twice shame on you you should have more respect for yourself than to take back a two time loser, and don't get me wrong I know you love him I am not doubting that. This BOY sounds like a loser of the biggest time. Hes a classic case of an abusive husband in training and you didn't ruin his life he was there and help you make the baby you didn't do it alone. You guys should have used protection not only for preg reason but STD AIDs as well especially if he is sleeping around on you. as far as taking him back that should be an easy one HELL NO!!!!!!! As far as the pregnancy thing that is a decesion you and only you can make whether or not to keep the baby. I had an abortion when I was 21 and regret it but there were circumstances beyond my control, would I do it again I am not really sure. I would really talk to your mom as hard as it may be. There other options than abortion like adoption there are hundrends of people out there wanting children that can't have them. Please talk to your parents don't go thru this alone. I say leave the bastard, talk to your mom, and possibly look into adoption. If your not ready to amke a lifetime commitment 24/7 365 then your not ready to be a parent. If your ready to give up your life to take care of another human being, well only you know that and no one can tell you to or not to have an abortion. You just basically answered your own question. Your child can still have a father but he dosen't have to be in your life as a lover, but if you decide to keep him in your life then you have to deal with the consequences, look at it this way do you want your child in a home where he or she sees mommy and daddy fighting and mommy posibbly getting hit and hurt? Cause you won't be the only one he takes his anger out on he will eventually go to the child. As for telling your parents you have to eventually better now than when your 6 months and have lied to them the whole time, you will eventually start to show and besides you need medical care if you want a healthy child.

Answer 6

That is why I tell people to stay away from sex and stay pure. Never ever trust a guy who don't respect you and its bad enough you went back with him after knowing what kind of jerk he is. Since its too late now, I say that if you can take care of that precious child that's about to enter this world then please raise the child and hopefully your parents will be kind enough to help you. If you cannot raise the child why not give it up for adoption, at least give the child a chance at this world. This decision comes down to you and like someone have said before talk to your parent. Also get rid of the jerk you do not need him and he wont change. Realize that abortion is a one time thing and cannot be taking back. You may end up regreting it for the rest of our life, so adoption would be the best way to go. Again this is your decision.

Answer 7

Girl, You don't need to be treated like that. If you still want to be with him tell him you will give the baby up for adoption and that he will have to deal with the fact. It is entirely your decision , but give the baby a chance. I just think you need to drop him baby or no baby, no girl needs to be treated that way and he's not being faithful to you and I know its hard because you have been with him so long, but trust me there are nicer boys out there. But overall the choice is yours. Good Luck. Email me and let me know what you decide.

Answer 8

I'm sorry for you, i think you should have the baby and just forget about him and just love this baby to death. It is not the baby's fault that your boyfriend is a a$$hole, so why should your baby pay for it!! I never understood how people could deny their children. I was 17 when i had my first kid and my ex use to beat me and degrade me, but i finally left him and had my son who is now 7 years old and i love him and he is my pride and joy. Not even a year later i met this great guy who just fell in love with me and my son and has raised him ever since. We have been together for 7 years already. I'm not saying it will be easy but God never gives us anything we can't handle!! Babies are gifts from God, enjoy them!! Good Luck!!

Answer 9

get the abortion

honestly...youre not even strong enough to leave a guy who obviously mistreats you, do you think you have what it takes to be a single parent?

if not, dont put a child in that situation, its cruel. you can have the baby youve always wanted later, but get your life in order and find a decent man first

anyone who would link you to abortion photos in hopes of swaying your decision is sick and sadistic and out for their own purposes.

a lot of people are going to be very supportive of you while youre pregnant, they'll be more than happy to offer help and guidance provided you do whatever it is that conforms with their beliefs. just remember that all stops the second you have that baby, single mom's get thrown to the wolves, and so do their children, so they had damn sure better be prepared to deal with it, and i could be wrong but i just don't see that you are

plus your bf shouldnt be reproducing, his genes are obviously flawed, castrate him in his sleep and do the world a favor

Answer 10

You should think about why you don't have safe sex? Do you go to school? How do you expect to support the child? Having a abusive relationship whether it is verbal or mental is not a relationship , its a guy that is in need of help for himself cause he has no self esteem and out bursts his embarrassment and anger towars others- thats you! You need to first get out of this relationship and leave him alone for good!! your too young to raise a child, so talk to your parents and seek their advice cause they are your parents and they should be the first people to talk with for advice, if they are not in your life then seek some counseling to get you through this.