About 2 months ago we found out that we were pregnant with our 2nd chilld. Yes, this child was a suprise but, we are thrilled about it. When we called my husband's parents & sister. The told us that we need to make an appontment and get an abortion right away. They said that we had no right bring another child into this world. And that we were being selfish. They said that I planned to get pregnant ( I was on the pill and it was a suprise when I found out I was pregnant.) and I am trying to ruin our lives. They told him that if I didn't abort this child that he needs to divorce me. And when he said that they were crazy. They told him that he didn't have the" balls" to tell me what to do.
They also said that they didn't want to have anything to do with me or this child or with me.
They said that they would still buy presents for our first child, Jason who will be 3 in Aug. But, they won't do a thing for this baby!
What would you do?
2006-07-14 07:33:04 · 19 answers · asked by LITTLE 1 :o) 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
kill them.
2006-07-14 07:37:11 · answer #1 · answered by bebop4one 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These people are horrible for treating you both this way. You should discuss with your husband about how he would feel if your family were forced to cut ties with his. Is this something your husband would be willing to do to protect his family? I would tell his family from the start that you will not allow favortism with the children. They will be treated equally. And if they refuse. Then explain to them that it would be a complete waste of money to purchase Jason any presents as he will not receive them. I personally would donate them to a shelter or child in need. Good Luck & Congratulations!
2006-07-14 15:00:45 · answer #2 · answered by red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First i would address the issue on a personal level. Do you want the child? Can you afford it? It sounds like your happy about it, and if your annocing it's impending arrival, you probably want to keep it.
So do keep it. If you and your husband want it, keep it. But I'd tell the in-laws that it's all or nothing. If they won't acknowledge your family as a whole, they should not acknowledge it at all. Talk about an unhealthy emeshed situation anyway. Why do they feel like they have a right to make any decisions for you or your husband? They've overstepped their boundaries. Your an adult, and you and your husband can make independent decisions. It has nothing to do with them. They sound like assholes.
2006-07-14 14:42:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband should let them know, in no uncertain terms, that you are a family unit, that you and your husband, alone, determine the size of your family, as well as all decisions regarding the health, welfare, future, belief systems and rules in your famly. If they wish to participate in your life, in your family, with your family as a whole, then they will respect your wishes and play by your rules.
Make it clear they are not the ones in charge of deciding who interacts with your son, you are, and that they are not allowed to pick and choose. If you still want them in your life, and your husband agrees they are worth having in your lives, then put it to them and don't back down. The first time they exhibit any nasty behaviour, like gifting your son and not your new baby, return the present unopened and cut the cord.
Stand firm. Otherwise, you are in for a lifetime of trouble and, frankly, you will have invited it.
2006-07-14 14:47:49 · answer #4 · answered by Liligirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not contact them again. You have every right to bring another child into this world if that's what you and your husband want. They have made their choices. The only thing you can reasonably do is respect those choices, and continue loving your husband and your children.
2006-07-14 14:38:24 · answer #5 · answered by lynda_is 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you decide abouut them being in your life or not, do not let them favor one child over another. I personally would not allow such negativity around such an impressionable child. Imagine the way it would affect your child's self esteem as well as your other child.
2006-07-14 14:50:59 · answer #6 · answered by mynickname 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from those people. They are poisonous to your mental health. If your husband wants to talk to his parents and sister that is his business but he has TWO children. If your in-laws can't treat your children equally they should be kept away.
2006-07-14 14:42:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would cut them out of my life, also, I would return any gifts given to your first son because it's not fair to your newest arrival to feel left out and unloved by his grandparents and other family members. One day they may come around, but if they don't, that's okay because you don't want your kids to know what kind of people they really are.
2006-07-14 14:44:02 · answer #8 · answered by jtj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick the parents out of your lives. If they r going to be special to one child and not the seccond, that will be devestating for your seccond. I would just tell them "fine u can't see either child then, if u r gonna act like that" She will either change her tune or not.
good luck
2006-07-14 14:42:36 · answer #9 · answered by Mary W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd erase them from my life. There's no way I'd tolerate it and if my husband still wanted anything to do with them, I'd erase him as well. LOL, I already did (though not over the exact same thing)
2006-07-14 14:37:27 · answer #10 · answered by purpleama456 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your baby is a blessing from God weather you
planned it or not this baby was meant to be
keep the baby & once the in-laws see the new,precious
child they will wish they never said what they said
best of luck to you & your child to be & God Bless
2006-07-14 14:42:53 · answer #11 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋