Insecure boyfriend?

Question

I think my boyfriend is insecure. If I so much as word something strangely, he takes it the wrong way and gets upset. He looked at my Myspace profile and was a little bugged because I didn't mention him much on it. He said that it was "a part of my life where he didn't exist"... And he told me about a dream he had, where he beat a guy friend of mine to death because he was hitting on me and then was an asshole to my boyfriend about it... He told me to think of it as sweet but it disturbs me. I'm 99% sure he'd never really do a thing like that, but ... I almost still want to ask him. It all just makes me think he's really insecure about our relationship, or my feelings for him or something and what if he DID get driven to that point?? I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

wow...well i think everyone's insecure, especially when you're in a relationship. plus i think it's when you're in a relationship that you find yourself the most vulnerable at times. i think you should really talk too him about it, and then try to work together to close those insecurities.

i'm sure he'd never beat your friend too death, but i think that was his way of saying he wants to be the ONLY one to protect you-- and i think he's just not sure if you're feelings are really true for him. first talk too him, and no matter what he says (whether he says nothing is wrong, or this this and this is wrong) start to just do little things that show him that you do love him and care for him-- and you don't need anyone other than him to protect you and such.

leave him little notes every now and again and do little chessy things like that. they say they don't like it-- but oh they sooo do! lmao. i hope this helped you!! good luck sweetie!

Answer 2

people don't break up because they simply stopped loving each other. Some issues made them to separate. We may give you all the advice you want and at the end of the day the ball will always be in your court. If you have broken about at least 4 times, that should really mean something. Do you think the breaking up will ever stop? I feel like you are afraid to be by yourself. As much as you love him you also feel sorry for him that no one will be able to understand him better than you or even put up with all the things he is going through. You just can't bear the pain of hurting him. No one will help him unless he helps himself. You may try to make him feel good about himself but if he is not willing to work with you the will be no progress. Is this the guy you are planning to spend the rest of your life with? You have already been with him for a long time and you don't want to spend more years and only to find out it won't last. Every relationship has it's ups and down. It seems like this guy needs some professional help. Only people who are willing to help themselves can be helped by themselves. The ball is in your court. In my eyes I think deep down you already know want you want to do. You are scared of the outcomes. Good Luck!!!

Answer 3

Wow, haha, and I thought I was bad... Yeah, I agree that you should think of it as sweet, but you should still talk to him about it--hopefully your relationship is a communicative one and you can both talk to each other about issues. If you tell him that the way he's acting might get in the way of your relationship in the future, his insecurity might lead him to change for you. That's the fun thing about having an insecure boyfriend; they'll try their best to make you happy.

Answer 4

Your boyfriend is showing signs of being overly controlling. This should disturb you and you should not think of it as sweet at all. Ask yourself what was really the point of him telling you about that dream? was it to show how much he cares? was it to keep you in line? did you feel threatened?

a lot of guys began this way, first they are want control over the little things, then they want control over bigger things. the next thing you know, you're not allowed to dress a certain way or hang out with certain friends. He probably told you to think of it as sweet because you didn't react the way he wanted you to act.

I'm not saying that your boyfriend is a maniac who will beat up you and all of your Friends but you need to watch his actions and if he becomes more possessive and controlling over the things you do, you should consider breaking up with him.

Answer 5

It's not your fault. He has a developmental problem, wehere he never learned to feel good about himself without someone else's having to prove it to him.
DUMP HIM. You are not his mother, you are not his therapist, you are not put on this earth to be used by someone else. He is using you to perform a task which he himself should be performing: it is his resposnsibility to understand himself, and take charge of what is wrong inside. He needs to help himself (thats the only way people can change) if and when he wants to.
The only thing that will happen is that he will get worse, and will continue to blame YOU for it because you let him and you accept the responsibility. It should be his, because it is. He just inverts things on to you to be freed from the guilt and shame of his own insecurity- because really, he is not a man if he is insecure, but he doesn;t want you to know this.
But you already know, girlfriend- smart you! DUMP HIS *** with no explanation because YOU OWE HIM NOTHING!!!!!
He owes YOU an apology for wasting your time and making you feel bad. Really, that's NOT what a relationship is about, is it? He has failed you on his duty to you as your boyfriend to be concerned for YOUR well-being, not just his own!
Has he ever asked you how it makes YOU feel, when he does something you dont like? Does he ever show concern for your needs and emotions? Does he give you special attention?

And if he feels from time to time that he suddenly doesnt exist, based on what you do, then thats pretty psychotic, dont you think?
I could go on and on!!

Answer 6

You need to talk to him or get out. Beating on someone because they were hiiting on your woman isnt sweet, not even in a dream. Supposing he taught it was you flirting with some guy, what then? Dont wait for something serious to happen. Relationships should have trust.

Answer 7

That kind of sounds like how my boyfriend is. Just think of it as he really cares a lot about you and is doesn't want to lose you to another guy. Insecure he may be, but if you don't think he could be abusive then you're probably right, but be careful because things can change.

Answer 8

A dream is a dream so don't get to worked up over that......and the answer is YES he is very insecure....to the point of being immature.

Answer 9

hahaha my boyfriend has the same problem. myspace ruins everything.

just because i dont have a billion photos of him and i up and MeAndMYBAbY FoREvEr banners everywhere doesnt mean i dont love him. it got so bad that i had to hide my comments.

hes just insecure and its something you cant be held accountable for. tell him that you love him and he should be ok with that, maybe he had past experiences that hurt him.

id talk to him about it face to face.

Answer 10

sweet???????? you've got to be kidding me. look he is a classic abuser. put the cycle of violence in to any search engine and do the research. they always start out this way, and often times in the beginning it does appear that they just care very much, but that is not whats really going on, its the beginning stages of controlling you which is the bases for developing the power to abuse, its what they do. seriously look it up, and look at the information about the early warning signs and you will see your bf there just as clearly as if his picture was posted. get out now before you can't.