Unruly toddler?

Question

I have a 2 yr old. I am at a loss what to do. He would only want me to hold him all the time. If i don't, he screams. He would also wake up like 3 times a night a just cry and ask me to hold him. Why would he be doing that? I'm exhausted. Any similar experiencies. Thank you

I think it is a separation enxiety. his grandma moved out 3 weeks ago. How soon should i expect it to pass though?
Hope it goes away befor my back breakes form holding him. I'm just trying to be patient with him understanding that, but it is getting really hard.

Answer 1

just let him cry and dont give in to his wants eventually he will realize that you are not going to give in and hush up. Crying has never hurt anyone it actually promotes healthy lungs.

Answer 2

He is getting attention from you any way he can. That means next time he will scream longer. 2 year olds are difficult, train him now or the behavior will continue well into his teens. (no joke). Don't scream,smack,or cry. Firmly say no and give him his toy and continue what you are doing. He might even hold his breath in which case worse case sceanario he turns blue and passes out;not to worry his respiratory centers of his brain will kick in and he will wake up just fine.At bedtime, use the same time and routine every night. A warm bath really is great.Put him to bed in his own room,sit in a comfortable chair in his room and leave after he falls asleep. when he cries don't say anything,put him back to bed. Sit, wait ,leave. Don't pick him up under any circumstance,or he will try harder next time. After 4 days of hell, move the chair to the doorway. 3 more days;no chair. This is just a guess on time frame. Have faith. This may even bring you to tears. Don't give in. Both you and your significant other will benefit and he will due to an uninterupted night's sleep. 2 weeks of hell if you don't give in. Then it's wonderful! During the day find ways to cope with his manipulation of you. This has to stop. Separation anxiety refers to the crying that occurs when you leave him with another caretaker like when you go to work or leave to shop. Have a plan and stick to it. Share the plan with your mate, both of you have to understand and support each other. Only 2 weeks to freedom and a happier household. You can do it. Don't let guilt cripple your child. The behavior spills into spoilt behavior later. Good luck and hang in there!

Answer 3

If you don't already have one, create a soothing bedtime routine that starts about 2 hours before bedtime:

Quiet play
Warm and soothing bath
Cuddle up in jammies
Cup of milk
Brush teeth
2 bedtime stories
Quiet talk with the lights out
Kiss goodnight

However, during the day, you'll need to set out the rules, and tell him that you must sleep too, and when he wakes up, you will check on him the first time only (to make sure he doesn't have a fever, hasn't vomitted, messy diaper, etc.). Do not hold him. In a soothing voice, remind him that all is well, you love him and you are going back to bed. You won't sleep the first night--he's going to scream. It's ok--let him tire himself out.

Children at this age don't consciously know what they are doing, but they are wired to do it. You get more of the behavior you reinforce, so make sure this remains unpleasant for him, so that sleeping will be the much more pleasant option!

Answer 4

Has this been a problem since he was an infant or just a recent development? If it's recent, is he in daycare or was he left with anyone just before it began? Is it possible somebody is abusing him in your absence? If this is possibly the case, you might want to take him to his ped. for an exam and see about play therapy with a trained counselor.

If this is since he was an infant, then you might want to consider gradually "weaning" him off being held constantly. For example, sit on the floor to play with him. First start off with him in your lap, facing away from you. Then, when he's involved in the playing, gradually and gently put him on the floor between your legs. Don't bring any attention to the fact. Next time you play, try to start off with him on the floor between your legs, again, facing away from you. Gradually move next to him while still playing.

Little by little, you expand this to other times. Also, giving him choices, such as rather than letting him sit on your lap, ask him if he would rather sit on a cushion or the floor. Only give him 2 choices to select from. At the table, maybe he could chose between the high chair and a booster seat (assuming he's been sitting in your lap at meals). By giving him the feeling that he's got some control over his life, he may develop the self-esteem to become a little more independant.

During the night, you could start off telling him at bedtime that if he wakes up, you will pat him on the back but you won't pick him up, then just going in when he wakes up and pat his back. Again, gradually work your way from being right there to being in the background (eg, just having to go to the door and telling him you're here and everything is alright).

Best of luck.

Answer 5

Eventually, sweetie you are going to have to let him cry/scream. put him to bed earlier than you go, that way it will give him time to get all cried out before you go to bed. Make sure he has a bottle or leak proof sippy cup, his diaper has been changed too. That way you have no reason to go into his room once you put him down for the night. At least not until he's asleep or quiet. If you have a nightlight make sure it's on.
Once he's down for the night, go watch tv, read a book. You are going to hear him crying. Mainly, because he knows that is what makes mommy come running. Toddlers are so smart. The crying will tire him out and he'll go to sleep. It may seem mean, but it does work. My kids became very independent once I broke that particular cycle

Answer 6

Its called terrible twos for a reason. 1st try letting him sleep in the same room with you. I don't know if you have him in a toddler bed yet but if you do put the bed in your room. If he wakes up and you are close he might just go back to sleep or he might climb in bed with you. Which is fine... he won't want to do it forever. During the day find things you can do together to keep him occupied like finger paint, play dough, or coloring. Put him on your lap then slowly move him to his own seat. Once you get him started (although sometimes messy) these things should keep his mind off of wanting you to hold him all the time.

Answer 7

Do you have more than 1 child? If you are paying more attention to an infant as opposed to your 2 year old that could be displacing them. If you only have 1 child, is there something your doing thats taking up alot of your time while your with your child? Say house work, talking on the phone. Kids are needy and will want to be held there is not much to do about it. I think he is being too needy though, so it may pain you, you have to ignore them sometimes and just let them cry(at night) if it continues for too long of a time period go talk to them and explain its bed time and they need to go to sleep stay with them for a little bit and see how that works.

Answer 8

I also have a 2 year old and I think its just the terrible 2's my son always falls out when he don't get his way u just need to let him know that he's not a baby and that u can't hold him he's a big boy now. And my son wakes up in the middle of the sometimes screaming but it's because he has to go potty and he is to lazy 2 get up. He's just use to u or your mom picking him up and he needs to know that big boys sleep in their own beds and walk on their own 2 feet

Answer 9

It sounds like your son is a major mama's boy. That or has something dramatic happened lately? Kids are very smart and people don't give them enough credit.
For example, my brother-in-law moved out and now my nephew is having seperation anxiety. He is 3, he cries more, craves attention from his mom, and always thinks that if she leaves she is not coming back.
Don't underestimate your son. They understand more than you think. If he really is just being a brat then let him cry himself to sleep. If he wants you to hold him all the time because that's what you have always done, then that is your fault.
Be patient.....hold him now while he wants you to soon enough he will be grown and you will be the one asking him for a hug.

Answer 10

How long was his grandma there? He is two though and can understand that he cannot be held all the time. I'd probably try talking to him and tell him you are not going to hold him when it is not necessary. Toddlers are really good at manipulating, so don't be surprised if he cries himself sick. You need to stick to what you say, so he knows you mean business. Consistency is the key here. It will be hard, I know; but it will pass.

Answer 11

Ever think about just letting him cry himself out? It's not going to hurt him. Have you told him Grandma needed to get back to her life and that he will see her again sometime (assuming here that grandma lives in the same town/city as you do). Otherwise, yep, I'd let him cry himself out. He will eventually realize that grandma isn't coming back and you aren't going to pick him up all the time. By some heavy duty ear plugs...will soften the high pitch to a muffled roar.