I have one living child who is almost four, but I have lost a baby at 21 weeks pregnancy and recently had a miscarriage. We are also having fertility issues. Sometimes I feel sad and other times I am angry and jealous at these lucky women. I know I'm not the only one out there that has suffered a loss, and I do have a living child, but that ache is there in my heart for the ones lost and and having trouble conceiving another one. I am Christian, so if anyone has any Christian views, that would be helpful.
It is really hard since I work closely with a young woman who is pregnant with her first and is in her eighth month, so that big beautiful belly is right there all the time. So far I haven't let my issues get in the way, but it is hard holding it in. My husband doesn't understand. Please, anything to help would I would be very grateful.
2006-07-14 07:09:51 · 5 answers · asked by finding_my_dream 3 in Health ➔ Other - Health
I know that this is not really related, but I would like to share a story with you..
http://www.epinions.com/content_3095175300
Not only do I have cancer, but I also gave birth to a very sick child. http://www.jpegwizard.com/view.asp?File=519200623425AM9767 Here is a photo of her when she was on life support. I can remember the doctors telling me she was not going to make it. I went into Walgreens to pick up my perscriptions as I had a c-section. I went in, and this mother was cussing a blue streak at her newborn for crying...
My husband had to litterally pick me up and carry me out to the car. I was sooooooo bitter. I calmed down, went back in to the store, and offered to hold her baby for her after she asked it "Oh Why do you HATE me soooo?" I educated this woman about why babies cry. " It wasn't that the baby hates you, " I told her. Babies cry because they have gas. I showed her how to burp the baby. The baby went to sleep after that. Somehow, mustering up the strength to help others, gave me a sense of peace.... Bless you...
Here is my story about the baby: http://www.epinions.com/content_4747600004
I want you to know that even though my baby survived, (I am crying now), There is not a day that goes by that I don't ache and I mean ACHE for the little ones that did not. I spent 5 weeks in NICU, I saw so much.
I understand your jealousy. I have been there. But we all have crosses to carry, each of us. Just because you look at a mother, and she seems to have it "All", these times are tough, and sometimes there is a lot we don't see. I believe that you will gain your strength back when you are ready to. This experience that has happened to you, will make you stronger. God wants you to be stronger for a reason, and that baby you had, came down to this earth to touch your life.
Here is a poem I found one day and wanted to share: http://dying.about.com/cs/readerpoems/a/Densel.htm
Might I suggest that you make a web page or blog, and fill it with all of your memories. Not only will this help you emotionally deal with everything, one day it will help another mom who feels just like you.
About your husband. I bet he understands how you feel, but he feels like he needs to be the STRONG one for the both of you. Believe me he is hurting, more than you can understand at this point, but may not be showing it. Maybe he does not know how to feel in front of you, while protectiong you at the same time. My husband to me felt as if he was withdrawn for those 5 weeks. In reality he was trying to protect me from his pain.
Bless You,
-barbara
2006-07-14 07:14:35 · answer #1 · answered by barbaradjt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok... love... I know that sometime it can be hard not to be able to conceive, especially when you want it so bad. You say you are a christian woman... then I am sure you believe that everything happens for a reason and God knows best. I know you want this and are anxious to have it... but maybe there is another reason that you cannot conceive? ! Perhaps you are too stressed or your are overwhelmed.. or maybe you just want it to much. You husband doesn't understand because he is not a woman and he does not feel the emotional impact that losing a child can cause a woman.
Sweetheart... put your faith you God, He, has and will provide for you! Keep you head up and be faithful, your little one will come.
My sister had 6 miscarriages.. before she had her 1st child and even then the baby was born 2months premature... the second child (after 2 miscarriages) she was able to conceive, put her on bed rest, gave her gestational diabetes and the baby weight 10lbs, 8oz. So.. your time will come, be patient and not jealous of others good fortune.. that is the devil working through you.... so you keep your head up, your faith high.. and you will have a big belly in no time!
she was very fortunate to even be able to conceive, because after so many miscarriages you body will not hold a fetus.. and look what happened...
2006-07-14 07:24:37 · answer #2 · answered by Sunshine_Diva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God has a unique and challenging path for each of us. You are looking on the dark side, and in a situation like this it IS hard to see the bright side, but it's there!
For you this seems bad. Your equipment is not working. Think of it from the perspective of the orphaned child who you will adopt. To him you will be an angel, and a savior.
That is chosen love. Growing a baby in your belly, you can't help but love it, it is you! But having the srenght and courage to look realisticlly at your situation and create something beautiful and positive will heal you.
Forget the fertility drugs, your body has been through enough. Accept it as it is. If God wants you to have a baby via your womb, he doesn't need help. Think about it. What has he chosen you for??
Contact me if you'd like.
daisywave77@yahoo.com
2006-07-14 07:21:51 · answer #3 · answered by Nanjadufrance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel I was never able to have children and had to have a hysrerctomy at 30 Ive always wanted a baby.Just be happy you at least have one to love
2006-07-14 07:16:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you hug a new born child of another person, you may get over it.
2006-07-14 07:16:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋