how do i deal with my granfather being a busy body?

Question

he is always treating me like I am only 3 when I am a month away from being 24. He always tries to stick his nose in my business all the time no matter what I do His eyes are constantly watching me it seems like. I am about to scream. What should I do?

Answer 1

Mayabe you could try and have a quiet word with him.

Answer 2

I think you need to gently turn the tables on him…

Remember, older people tend to be a little paranoid about "what's going on?" and overprotective of the things they care most about. Take some comfort in knowing that your grandfather seems to care about you very much.

But what you need to do is make him think of you as an adult. Try this:

At an appropriate time when you're alone with him, start a conversation about his life. Tell him that you like to imagine what it was like for other generations when they were your present age. Make it a game. You could say "so Grandpa, let's see - right now I'm 24 years and 3 months old. So if you were born in June of 1930 that would mean that you were my age in September of 1954, right?"

If you do some homework, you can be loaded with information about the year when he became the same age as you are right now. (See the Wikipedia link below...just put in the appropriate year in the URL where I have 1954). You'll really surprise him when you can say: "Let's see, wasn't Eisenhower the President and Nixon his Vice-President?"

Next, you ask him to see if he can come close to recalling exactly what was going on in his life at exactly that time. Before you know it, he'll be reliving the “good old days” and regaling you with all of his early adult experiences. You'll have ample opportunity to express admiration for how smart, responsible and independent he was.

This is your cue to point out to him that it must have been wonderful when he realized he was out of the nest for good and now totally responsible for himself. Gently steer the conversation to how it's really not that much different for young adults today. The circumstances may be different, but the feelings are the same.

I think if you can get him to empathize with you by reflecting on his own life, you can gently nudge him into greater acceptance of yourself as an adult. I think you can turn this into a new opportunity to talk to your grandfather while dramatically reducing his (and your) discomfort.

People are mirrors. If you confront them, they push back. But if you are genuinely interested in how they feel, they'll be more willing to consider your feelings. You could end up as real soul mates!

Good luck!

Answer 3

To begin with, why are you living at home? If you live under someone elses roof you lose some privacy. It's a trade off. He needs something to do besides watch over you. Can you get him to go to a senior center a few times a week. Or have him teach you golf or fishing or something that will get him interested and out of the house and then you kinda bow out once he's found his feet in the new situation. Most older guys won't do anything that is just plain fun on their own, but if someone needs their help then they will jump in there and do it.

Answer 4

- he really is not very mature if he has unreasonable expectations. Suggest that he get a hobby like genealogy or something else usefull to your family that he can get engrossed in to keep his mind busy and off of you. But also listen for any gems that he might have because older people have seen the results of a lot of choices people have made. Tell him little lies about meaningless fluff so he hears what he wants
hopefully you are at least a pretty normal, basically good girl and don't give your family cause to be concerned.

Answer 5

I assume that you live with him for some reason or other. All he is doing is just trying to protect you and more than likely he is also living the way he was brought up.

Trying spending some quality time with him. Do stuff together, let him talk you about the way things were or some of the stuff that he did growing up.

Enjoy him all you can, cause one day you are going to look back to this time and wonder why you didn't get to know him better. He is not going to live for ever. Enjoy him now!!!!

Answer 6

At least you have a grandfather,I did not know any of my grandparents,they died before I was borne.And also have lost my mother & father to cancer.I have lost a sister to breast cancer,and 2 brothers commited suicide.SO JUST GROW UP AND FEEL LUCKY TO HAVE A FAMILY. Take this from some one that by the age of 30 lost all her family.

Answer 7

I'm 44 and my Dad has always been like that. After I realized that he was that way because has control issues and very little else to occupy his time, I started feeling sorry for him instead of angry.Still get upset sometimes and then I take a" break" from him.

Answer 8

i think you should appriciate your granfather more. If he is in your life, thank god for him...not all the time will you have him. Talk to him and tell him you appriciate his help and that his wisdom helps you when you are in need of it. Let him know youd like to make desicions on your own and that youd appriciate it if he would just let you be and stand behind you on what you decide.

Answer 9

I would simply appreciate his concern... true enough he is noisy and it gets on your nerves.. but he has nothing but love for you and wants to make sure you are safe and making good decisions. So.................. perhaps maybe a little talk with him, nothing major... just say papaw... I know you love me and want the best for me, but I am getting older and I would like for you to let me live a little.. without you always in my business.. I know you love me... and I want and need your opinions and concerns, however, I would like to make some decision without you watching my every move.

Bottom line though honey... he is doing nothing but loving you..... Be grateful!

Answer 10

Try giving him a little love, attention and conversation. So do you live with him and has be cared for you throughout your life. You sound like someone who is selfish and self-centered rather than being grateful for having a living grandparent who loves you and cares about your welfare.

Answer 11

is he your guardian? maybe he doesnt want to seeyou fail like his real kids did, maybe he wants to see you move out already, if you dont like it then get out, do it on your own. maybe he looks at you to see if you are getting ready to leave, if you dont want him in your business move out and dothings on your own, if you are living at his house and eating his food and pretty much living off of him he has the right to do whatever he wants and even if it means making you feel uncomfortable for a while to get you to move out.try moving out and he cant treat you like a lil kid if you have your own house and your own things, he treats you like a kid because youre 2 and still living with him.you want ot be a grown up then do the right thing and get out.