Does anyone have a good riddle/joke???

Question

oh any by the way.....best one gets points

Answer 1

Cheaper Sex

A couple, both 67, went to a sex therapist's office.

The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"

The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

The doctor examined them and then directed them to disrobe and go at it.

When the couple finished, the doctor reexamined them and, upon completion, advised the couple, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He then charged them $32.

This happened several weeks in a row.

The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no apparent problems other than the lack of vigor, which is to be expected in 67 year-olds, get dressed, pay the doctor, and then leave.

Finally after almost two months of this routine, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"

The old man said, "Oh, we're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married, so we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $60. The Hilton charges $78. We do it here for $32 and I get $28 back from Medicaid".

Answer 2

Brunette Meets Genie

A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.
The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much."

The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house."
The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two."

Then the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man."
The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two."

The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."

Answer 3

ha ha ha i love blonde jokes.lemme think...ever heard the one about the magic cliff/mountain-thing?

a blond, a brunette, and a red head all go to a magical cliff where what ever you say, you become.
Brunette: I wish I was an eagle, so I could soar across the skies.
Red Head: I wish I was a salmon, so I could swim the 7 seas.
The blonde walks up, feeling confident, but she trips.
Blonde: Oh crap!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Potatoe one
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are all running from the police. They come across 3 potatoe sacks and tehy each jump in one. The policemen come around to each sack and kick it lightly.
when he kicks the first one, with the red head in it she says "Meow, meow."
Policeman: oh, it's just a cat
he kicks the second sack with the brunette in it next
Brunetts: Woof, woof
Cop: oh, it's just a dog
finally, he comes across the sack the blonde is in and he kicks that one
Blonde: potatoes, potatoes!

i love blond jokes, but i don't say them to be mean. my friends call me a blonde which i am totally not. all of my blonde freinds like blonde jokes too, go figure.

Answer 4

Once I asked a sarcastic friend, if we both offer our brain for sale, whose will get the highest offer.
Immediately he said, of course mine will get the highest price.
I totally agree with you, I answered.
Then he asked why I agree with his answer.
I said, of course people will offer a higher price for your brain which is of showroom condition, whereby mine was in tarters due to wear and tear after all these years of usage.
He nodded his head and gave me a satisfied grin. After hearing my compliments. So do I.
Catch it?

Answer 5

a man found a genie lamp and rubbed it. the genie came out and said he gets three wishes.
first wish, to be rich. it was done.
second wish, to be famous. it was done.
third wish to be the smartest person in the world.....








POOF.....











he became a WOMAN!

Answer 6

once upon a time there is a old women. she died in her child hood

Answer 7

knock knock ,who's there,hatch,hatch who,gusindheit