?Why do people assume?

Question

It has come to my attention that alot of people think if you are married and/or have kids then you should roll over and die and by that I mean. I (apparently) am suppose to be right with my children 24/7. I recieved several "notices" that I should be taking care of my kids instead of on the computer.

What do you think about this?
Should we roll over and die just because we have kids?
If you don't have children, don't answer

by the way kids had been fed bathed and were asleep.

Answer 1

I think those people are wrong for assuming this but hey let them talk they don't feed your kids or put clothes on thier back and maybe those people don't have kids and they don't you always need a little break from being a mom. And they're in the computer all day too than they are just jealouse because you have a life w/ your kids and they don't have one and the only thing they can do is type and not have friends.

Answer 2

First let me say I don't have children... Not by choice. I did help raise my nephew for a few years while his mother was running wild and his dad was working to make ends meet - they were seperated going through divorce. Hubby and I also raised two little girls for 5 years (long story). At any rate, I think that if your children are tended to that you deserve SOME time to yourself. I don't think they should be neglected or that the television or a video game should be the babysitter. There should be sometime that you play with your children. Spending time with them when they are young shapes your relationship with them for the future. You can't expect to wait until they're teenagers and then want to be a part of their life and want to know their every move. If you are on the computer while they are playing, the computer should be in a location in the house where you can keep an eye on the children if they're playing indoors. If the children are playing outdoors then you should be outdoors with them or near a window where you can watch them. Of course all of this is dependent on their age as well. If they are toddlers then closer/constant supervision is needed. The older they get a little more freedom from the constant eye is okay if they're responsible and understand RULES that you as a parent should set and enforce. And it would be foolish to think that you'd need to watch a teenager as close as you would a toddler, but even then they should be responsible and understand and obey your rules. Always keep in mind though that no matter their age this is a MEAN world we live in and bad things and accidents happen when we least expect it.

Answer 3

As a responsible parent you are entitled to some time to yourself.If you have fed and bathed your chilren, read their bedtime story and they are safely tucked into bed with their goodnight kiss, leave them to their sweet dreams with a clear conscience.Of course parenting is a 24/7 resposibility and so is being a wife.However it is supposed to be a labour of love not servitude.For the record .sometimes I would let the dusting for a day and just do something fun and spontaneous with my children( I'm not talking filth).Believe me as a parent I set priorities and time spent with my children was a memory more positive than saying "Wait a minute while I dust the table" Fingerprints are left by busy and happy little hands.Enjoy them they are only young once and no matter how clean your house isyour child will remember the time you spent together.Moms are allowed to have rest time to refresh themselves. A burnt out motor in a car will not start just on willpower, nor do people.

Answer 4

I know exactly where you are coming from. My kids are taking naps at this moment, the house is clean and the cat is fed. Why cant us mothers take some time to just veg in front of the computer if thats what we find interesting. Well, gee I guess those "other" people would like me to hover over my children and count thier breaths. Dont let it faze you.

Answer 5

I feel every parent needs "their" time away from the children. However, I also feel people should be parents too, but if your children are fed, bathed, in the bed... . or outside... whereever they may be... then yeah, sure, why not. I mean we as adults have lives too... so why wouldn't we do something without our children. I think I am an awesome mother, however, I will tell them to kick rocks in a heart beat, when I want some me time!

Answer 6

You need your own space, of course. Whether that is on the computer, getting your nails down, or just taking a drive. However, spending time with your children is important. They didn't ask to be here, you brought them into the world. Enjoy the time you have with them, it will be gone quicker than you think and you'll miss the time you wasted playing games on the computer.

This is common sense - I don't need to have children to know the answer to this one.

Answer 7

I think somtimes that people say that to some because they seem to be on the computer all day and how could you take care of a child if your on the comp all day.I don't know you so I'm not going to assume, but in my opinion, yes you can be on the computer, when the baby, is asleep or playing happily by themselves in a safe place or if your child is school age and in school, but to be on all day and ignore the child(ren) is unacceptable.( not talking about you)

Answer 8

No, you don't roll over and die. You stand up and be responsible. If you have small children at home and you are not attending to them, then you are being neglectful. If you have small children and your house is dirty, your laundry is piled up, you haven't cooked a descent meal in weeks---then you're being a child raising children.

If you have children and you are not married, then you have already given them an obstacle in their lives to overcome. At least make their childhood memories something they can remember with joy and not regret or resentment.

Answer 9

Because it is easier than digging out the facts.
Also with the amount of available information which is usually (let's say ALWAYS) incomplete, without assuming anything, we would have nothing to say.
For example, I am assuming that what I write here may make a difference to someone (hopefully positive).
But I don't know!!!

Answer 10

You deserve space, but at some point you decided to have the kids, knowing what a chore they are. A resposible mother will find time for herself while the kids are in school or asleep.
Where's the father?