ok..i recently posted on yahoo answers ...what i found in my boyfriends sent e-mail message...he said to an ex in england..my familys well but i am not..wish you were here(she is in england)...i confortened him about it and he said the reason why i said to her i wish you were here was he meant by that he wished she was in the same state of him, not in england, and then i said why are you not well...and he said he said that to her cuz of the fighting we have been done lately and how i cant talk to him without me yelling at him(which is true) and he wanted someone to talk to that would not yell...should i believe him?
2006-07-14 06:29:42 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
does counseling really help in a relationship?
2006-07-14 07:06:59 · update #1
I think until he actually does something that proves he is undeniably cheating then yes, you should believe him. While it may not be the right thing for him to do in talking with his ex, she does live in another country so nothing can come of it at this point other than verbal exchanges. However, now that he's aware this bothers you then if he really loves you and wants to repair the problems between you he should be spending more time in that area than sharing mail and thoughts with his ex.
2006-07-14 06:37:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to decide if he deserves the benefit of the doubt. Has he lied in the past? Has he cheated before? If not, then believe him. It's understandable that he would want a friend to talk to. And guy friends aren't the best for "talking". Second, I know that a new baby is hard on you. Especially with getting little sleep. Easy up on him. Stop yelling. You two need each other. Have a date night. Get grandma or a close friend to watch the baby, then go out for supper and bowling. Like you use to. Good luck.
2006-07-14 06:40:58 · answer #2 · answered by Jennilee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As if anything anyone could say on this forum will make one bit of difference.
He's your boyfriend, not your husband...having a son makes no difference (although I wish it did). Marriage means commitment, anything less than that is a relationship of convenience. You've already made one mistake by getting pregnant without that commitment. Don't make another. If you want the relationship to work, get counseling. Otherwise, start planning on how you are going to raise a boy without his father.
2006-07-14 06:38:17 · answer #3 · answered by kathy_is_a_nurse 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of it this way: If he left the person with whom he had a covenant (his wife), why would he stay with someone who is abusing him and with whom he does not have a covenant?
When you yell at him, you are abusing him--and that tells him that your love is only self-interested. To the extent that you love him for himself (and not only for what he does for you, how he makes you "feel"), you will respect him, not abuse him. Unless he really has his stuff together (and who does?), of course he is going to look elsewhere for emotional support if you abuse him. And it makes sense that he would go back to his wife--with whom he had (has?) a covenant.
You need to stop abusing him and talk to him like a mature adult about what you need from him in this difficult time. Neglect is also a form of abuse--and with a new baby, you need a lot of physical and emotional support--and he owes that to you and the child. And if he is neglecting you (just after you had a child), he needs to understand that that is probably more morally reprehensible than your yelling.
Go get some counseling!
2006-07-14 07:01:43 · answer #4 · answered by BlahBlahBlah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl my "boyfriend " told me the same thing" WELL SHE DOES NT YELL AT ME "and to when we are having issues with our relationship . This is how i see it if he is that insecure to fall back on his ex , when his feelings are hurt or when i yell at him , then good if there was no yelling in their wonderful relationship they would still be together right . History repeats its self through people and actions He's just Little man and you are the strong one sometimes we just have to feel sorry for them . Nothing makes one ? themselves more than being mislead or LIED too So he told you why do you believe him ? is the e-mails only when anger is involved or randomly at his will
2006-07-14 06:42:42 · answer #5 · answered by lost 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhhh... if you can't talk to him without yelling, that would certainly make a guy feel miserable, and I'd guess your temperament, attitude, disrespect goes much deeper than just that. Especially if he feels trapped because he cares about his child and care(d) about you. He's reaching out because he feels lonlier and more desperate than ever. You're not someone he can go to, apparently.
If the situation remains the same, expect his heart and mind to wander.
2006-07-14 06:35:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needed someone to talk to and he felt as if he couldn't talk to you. My husband emailed his ex a few times after we were married and I told him that I was not comfortable with him doing that and he stopped. Just tell him that since the two of you are in a relationship and now have a child, that you would prefer him to not email his ex anymore.
2006-07-14 06:35:50 · answer #7 · answered by pamela_d_99 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have remained friends with the majority of my exes. After spending so much of my life with them its hard to cut ties completely. Would I ever get back with one of them?...oh HELL NOOOO! If you have no reason to doubt him then don't.
On another note: Stop reading his emails. It seems like you are the problem in this relationship. Close your mouth and open your ears. You should be his best friend, lover and mother to his child but instead you are playing the role of warden
2006-07-14 07:16:20 · answer #8 · answered by Alissa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he feels more confortable with his ex since she doesnot yell at him and she doesnot hurt his feelings , carefull lif he gets tired of you nagging he will go back to his ex , seems like they understand each other very well , sice he wish she was there .
i think every person deserve respect , if you are not respecting him he may turn to his ex, there is too many ways to talk to your husband yelling or nagging itsnot the best thing to do , talk to him , makes things clear what you want or you dont want , comunication its the Key to succesfull Marriage.
watch out!!
2006-07-14 07:11:55 · answer #9 · answered by Dayan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could be true i resently started talking to an x that lives in a different state because im having trouble in my relationship.. n i too want to c him i just want some1 that can listen and advise..
by the way he too is married with a kid...
nothing sentimental..im not trying to start a relatioship with him...
all it is i need a friend and he knows me very well....
2006-07-14 06:35:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋