My friend got pulled over for running a red light. When the cop asked why he ran it, my friend said, " I was going way to fast to slow down". OK, we had a laugh but he still got a ticket.
2006-07-14 05:50:13 · 32 answers · asked by Sue Chef 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
This for a chick ONLY to say!
Blonde Rectum Stretcher (Priceless)
While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a blonde passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which she replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.
The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
Well," the blonde said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot anal openig?" he asked. - Edited for answers
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs. $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face............... PRICELESS
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/
2006-07-14 14:38:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 6⤋
if you ran a red light and he oulls you over.....and he ask you why you ran it...i would reply.....(no joke i would if it happens)
..well you see..i just murdered someone and i was hopeing to get home before someone discovers the body.
oh....im sorry..the scent of the dope in the trunk.....probaly caused it..i assure you..it wont happen again.
if the cop asks you....if he can search the trunk....i would reply..
sure..im tired of smuggling that mexican anyway....ya'll can deal with him for a while.
if the cop asks...if you ave any drugs or weapons in the car? i would reply.
Of course not.......there not in the car stupid.....its in my pants....how else would i benefit from the gun in a shootout?
if the cop pulls you over for speeding....i would
what now officer?
i just got pulled over for runnign a red light and they ALMOST found the gun in the dashboard...give me a break...you guys stop too many people as it is.
2006-07-14 06:07:56 · answer #2 · answered by RabbitHellFoxHeaven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a cop asks do you have license and registration after he pulls you over and you say: but im only 14 i dont have either
2006-07-14 06:48:50 · answer #3 · answered by ♫♪Ms.J♥Virgo♣♠ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a lady got pulled over by a cop. as he was writing up her ticket she said " i know what your doing" and he asked what, she told him " your writing me a ticket to the policemans ball" and the cop replied ",ma'am, we policemen dont have balls" needless to say she got off with a warning.
2006-07-14 06:04:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
what you mentioned is dumb - saying anything to a pig can result in either your arrest or incriminating yourself for punishment. I say nothing... if its a traffic stop... I simply hand all paperwork needed say as little as possible and keep my mouth shut. sorry I live in the south and we're known for crooked cops
2006-07-14 05:54:24 · answer #5 · answered by RAllen1st 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When they ask "Do you know how fast you were going" reply "How the **** should i know ur the one you pulled me over!" LMAO you probably get put in jail for the night.
2006-07-14 05:53:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Answer: It's ticket quota day
2006-07-14 05:57:05 · answer #7 · answered by starikotasukinomiko 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be wise to ask the officer what you are being accused of.
2006-07-14 05:58:13 · answer #8 · answered by Balthor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Hey! Aren't you one of those guys from the Village People?"
Cop: "Excuse me sir, your eyes look a little red, have you been drinking?"
You: "Excuse me officer, your eyes look a little glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
Cop: "Can I see your liscense and registration?"
You: "Ya, hold on, can you hold my beer and gun?"
"Bad cop, no doughnut."
2006-07-14 05:54:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was running away from you because I thought you were bringing me my ex - hubby back.
2006-07-14 05:55:25 · answer #10 · answered by Lindy357 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋