2006-07-14 05:16:31 · 21 answers · asked by petes2084 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If you decided to forgive them (do the counseling thing), if you don't want to forgive them, you seperate and go to a divorce lawyer, and if you are really bitter, you try to take them for everything that they are worth.
2006-07-14 05:20:59 · answer #1 · answered by jtj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends upon how mature you BOTH are. There is no standard response or procedure.
Failures in relationships CAN be healed if both spouses are reasonable, logical, and fair to each other. The KEY is to communicate and make each other understand how they REALLY feel, what they expect in the future, and IF there is a future for the relationship. HONESTY is the best policy. Start there.
2006-07-14 12:22:51 · answer #2 · answered by fiddlesticks9 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no standard procedure. If you feel it's appropriate to end the relationship then do it. Otherwise, you need to be willing to completely forgive the spouse. If it's always gonna bother you and stress the relationship, it's best to end it. You don't owe her an explanation- just say "I'm ending this relationship" and file for divorce based on infidelity. It's a tough call, but one you've got to make.
2006-07-14 12:22:34 · answer #3 · answered by Firstd1mension 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Standard procedure??? What, are we in the military??? It's up to you. It all depends on where you guys are at in your relationship...
I'm not married, but I've been in a long term relationship for about five years...I'm a guy. If my girl cheated on me, I would leave her. My reasoning is because if she wanted to satisfy some sort of sexual desire that I was not fulfilling, then she should have told me about that desire. We could have figured out a solution. If it was her going out and searching for someone who gives her something emotionally that I don't, then she should have told me about that...
The way I look at it, a person cheats on another because they are searching for something that they are not receiving in their own relationship... They've already made the decision passive aggressively to end the relationship by cheating and not trying to work it out... So, I would say, in my case, I would leave. The other person is no longer considering your feelings and not willing to discuss openly the problems any more. That would be incredibly difficult for me to reestablish.
2006-07-14 12:25:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, I've seen a few friends struggle through this situation. Let me say I'm sorry you have to deal with this. But deal you must. Even though the urge to physically hurt this person is HUGE--control yourself. A stint in jail will not make you feel better.
MOVE OUT or better yet kick your spouse out! Come to the realization that your spouse made a decision to risk your marriage for a fleeting moment of gratification. They don't see the value in you and your relationship at this time. Yes, others are right when they say that your spouse is looking for something that's missing. That's HER problem NOT yours. Let her figure it out with a counselor and in time (if you choose to) go to joint counseling and pursue a reconcilliation. Separation is KEY at this point--let her see what she's lost. Make her understand that getting you back and re-earning your trust will be TOUGH. MOST important of all, please don't believe her when she says "I never really loved you" This is a lie that 90% of cheaters say to justify their actions. Good luck to you and God bless!
2006-07-14 13:16:35 · answer #5 · answered by helpmemama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it? I don't know. What SHOULD it be? Once you've verified that he did, in fact, cheat, you should castrate him. Unfortunately, I think that's illegal in most places...
If you're asking seriously, for advice, make sure you can prove he's cheated, then contact an attorney (assuming you want a divorce). People try to do quickie divorces by buying a book and doing it themselves, but that's a BAD way to go...you can get seriously screwed doing it that way. Especially if children or a lot of assets are involved.
2006-07-14 12:31:33 · answer #6 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Acquire large caliber firearm
2. Shoot spouse and the jerk she's with in head and chest repeatedly until out of ammunition.
3. Reload.
4. Repeat steps 1-3 until police arrive.
-Note, this may require a large amount of ammunition.
2006-07-14 14:20:06 · answer #7 · answered by Privratnik 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have absolutely no comprehension of why anyone would even consider staying with anyone who had been unfaithful to them. Without trust there can be no love, and all that nonsense that is spouted about making the perpetrator win back your trust. Why would one want to? They fell for someone else because they fell out of love with you, or fell into bed with someone else because they were not that into you any more. Once there has been infidelity in a relationship it's no longer a relationship, it's a sham for someone's convenience.
2006-07-14 17:49:15 · answer #8 · answered by Kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If spouse is truly remorseful and wanting to work on marriage then demand marriage counseling and NO other incidents of cheating or flirtation (if you want to salvage relationship.)
If not, meet with an attorney and end it.
2006-07-14 12:22:52 · answer #9 · answered by Dawn S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out why they did it. If you truly love this person, and want to stay with them, get counseling. If it has happened more than once you may be in trouble. If you have kids involved try not to fight in front of them, remember it's not their fault. If more help is needed just ask.
2006-07-14 12:23:34 · answer #10 · answered by David 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋