my husband and i married each other and were both virgins. my prob is he's not that good in bed.w@ should i do

Question

Im too embarassed and feel bad telling him. I dont want to hurt his feelings...

Answer 1

You did say that you are hubby and wife didn't you?
Well teach him to satisfy you, and maybe you too start satisfying him?

And how can you compare your husband when you both have only each other (I presume that both of you are loyal to each other and not promiscuous)

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Answer 2

Ok Sabrina, if you guys are married then you should be able to tell each other everything. Here are some ideas: watch porn together and experiment what you both see. Try to arouse yourself by yourself, this way you will know what in yur head gets you off and what in your head does not and then use it in bed. Another thing is don't tell him he is not good because he is your first and that would just sound way to suspicious. Just let him know that you want to try different things and find your grove. Get a book about sex and the different postions. Read the stories in the girly magazines about peoples sex life and always be up for anything except sharing each other. Hey even go to strip clubs together. Both of you need to find your erotic point and use it.

I am re-reading what a lot of people are saying and they are very rude and unsympathetic to you. A woman always knows what is good and what is not. You should not take what these other people are saying about you might not be good. Sex or for married couples making love is a musical dance. You have to be making the music together. You have to have rhythm. If you can go to a club and dance to the music you can have sex with your husband and enjoy it. Use what you do onthe dance floor in the bedroom. Because you both have no experience you both are learning. Allow to experiment and get dirty and kinky with it. Try things you thought you would never try. It is a learning experience that once you have become comfortable with yourself and he the same then all you will see is fireworks. Everything is with personal experience and time. Your married you have the rest of your life to get it right. Ask him what he likes, then do it. Become the teacher and then be the student.

Answer 3

The real question is: Are you good in bed?

If you say that you were both virgins when you got married, then doesn't it mean that you do not have much experience as well?

OK, you're the female--it is given that men desire women in general. Even if you're passive in bed, your husband will still think you are good in bed or otherwise because you're the woman.

The good thing about your situation is that since you're both "new" to foreplay, you can experiment. Find your g-spots. There's nothing wrong or immoral about that. It will be exciting for both you and your husband.

You can take love-making into a whole new different level... into an art form. That's acceptable. That's love.

Answer 4

Why do you feel embarassed? You have seen each other naked!! Seriously this is a common problem. You have to communicate with him. Don't tell him he is bad in bed, just be very vocal about what you want. Move him where you want him and be very vocally responsive when he does something you like. You can train him by positive reinforcement! lol Serioulsy though just ask him to try different things... you never know he may be thinking the exact same thing you are.

Answer 5

But how would you know he's bad in bed? So he doesn't please you? You two are married now and shared an intimate action of sex, what isn't there that you can't talk about? Maybe talk to him when you guys are sharing feelings. Tell him what he does that makes you feel good, it'll trigger his memory the next time and he'll do it longer. If not, while he's doing something you like, hold him there a little longer. He'll get the point eventually. If not, just flat out tell him. Guys are not mind readers no matter how much you wished they could read your mind. I learned it the hard way with my hubby.

Answer 6

First of all, you do not have any means of comparing---so maybe it is not your husband but you who has a problem. Therefore, the best thing you guys can do is talk about the problem. We cannot expect from each other to know exactly what the other likes/dislikes, what is bothering the other, unless we talk about this. Once you get started you can also try to talk about how to change that. I mean, is he too fast, or are you too fast? Or too slow, or is it boring and why? - and so forth. If nothing works you both could see the advice of a marriage counselor whom you can tell the problem......

Answer 7

I think the truth of the matter might be that you are the one who is no good in bed. I don't feel bad telling you this, because I don't care about your feelings, but I think you are a little full of yourself.

Rather than play the blame game, perhaps the two of you should either:
1. See a therapist who can help.
2. Rent some porn, and get some ideas what you are doing wrong.

Answer 8

I'm with bentworth78 on this one, if you were "pure" how do you know he sucks in bed. I'll bet your a cold fish too, just sit there and take it, huh? How do you know if you are any good. Maybe your the one that sucks and he is just doing all he can do with what he has! People like you piss me off you automatically blame others for your problem, why don't you take some personnal accountability for yourself and try to fix it!!!!!

Why don't you try to spice stuff up alittle if he's not good.

And if your saying he isn't good cause you don't get off, then you should know around 80% of women have a hard time finishing!

Answer 9

well first off you need to get over this embarrassment ok, he's your husband after all and if you want a successful marriage you need to be able to effectively communicate, have a frank discussion with him

in that discussion, dont criticize or say "you are bad in bed", steer it more toward, "hey do you think we could try this?" or just simply while you are having sex say "baby, touch me here" and then guide his hand where you want it, or maybe start talking a little dirty, or guide him into a new position, or ask him something like "you know what would be really hot?, if you licked me here"

if you don't know what would feel good i reccommend that you masturbate, read some books on sex, visit websites and experiment

sex gets better over time, you are both new to it, give it some times

good luck

Answer 10

First, how long have you been married
Second, I have to agree with Bentworth...how do you know that he is not good...when you were a virgin yourself...

When two people are virgin...they both aren't any good...you learn from each other...gets some books on how to please each other...and practice...

Just let him know that you what to try something different...and also show him what gives you pleasure...and vice verse...

Keep in mine that the first time...he is going to come really fast...than after that...he can last longer...if not talk with him in a sensitive manner...talk to him they way you would like for him to talk to you about something that concerns sex...ask him if he is willing to see a doctor...there are so many things that can help him...

Barnes & Noble has a great section for sexual pleasure...some are fun games...check it out...don't be embarassed to buy the book...keep in mine that you are both learning...and have fun with it...explore both of your bodies...see what feels good and what doesn't...it will be a great experience for the both of you...it will bring the both of you closer...stronger...and confident about your sexual performance...

Take care & good luck

Answer 11

Go to a marriage counselor. They will help you find the right words so your husband won't be offended. He loves you and he wants you to be happy too. He will probably do whatever it takes to be a better partner to you. The more you enjoy your sex life, the more you will have sex. You shouldn't be embarassed to talk openly and honestly with your husband. He's on your side and he wants all the best of everything for you.