Serious question! Why do I do this??

Question

I'm having some major depression issues right now. Why do I push my support circle away in the times when I need them the most? I did something really stupid on Monday and had to spend the night in the hospital, but am somewhat better now. I am following up on this. I had my first counseling appt yesterday and have to go back on Tuesday. I am surrounded by friends and family, I just don't understand why I push them away when they see I need help. Why can't I turn to them?

to BWLJ, go screw yourself!!!! I am not crying, just trying to reach out for help and advice! If you don't like it, then just don't waste my time answering!

Thank you all for the great advice! It is very much appreciated!!!! My love and prayers to you all!!

Answer 1

Sometimes why we do things completely confused and confounds us. The explanations may elude us for weeks, months, years, or may never come to us.

Taking a stab in the dark, you should try to ask yourself a few questions:

-"Am I pushing people away because they're all trying to help me and it's overwhelming or annoying?"

-"Am I pushing people away because I don't think I need their help?"

-"Is my support group (family, friends) able to see something that I am unable to see?"

-"Do I feel like I am weak if I have to turn to someone else for help (i.e., counselor, family, friends)?"


Clearly you are not above asking for help because you posted your question on Answers. Perhaps the reason for that is that you have a certain sense of anonymity on the internet. Perhaps you might explore whether you feel exposed, "naked", or vulnerable because everyone knows about your business.

Lastly, I would advise you to talk to your counselor (or psychologist, CSW, etc) about this issue. While I, personally and non-professionally, do not think it's an anti-social behaviour, perhaps it could be something closely related to it. Perhaps the root of your issue is much simpler: maybe you feel you just need some privacy and "down time" from your support group. In that case, when you feel slightly better, you should address the issue of privacy, and also establish with them a way of telling them that you're okay and just want some down time - kind of like a keyword or phrase (i.e., "I'm just Calvin Kline" -which could be Cockney Rhyming Slang for "fine"). Whatever you choose, they should understand.

In the meantime, continue to try to understand what you're feeling, and definitely talk to your counselor about them and see what he/she says.

Best of luck!


P.S. I wanted to share the lyrics to one of my favorite songs -which has helped me through some particularly rough times:



"Ground" by Assemblage 23

Be still. Though chaos rains around you now. Only so much rain can fall at once.


Breathe in. And let the air envelope you. And slow but sure, serenity will come.



CHORUS:
Close your eyes. Try to breathe. Feel the ground beneath your feet. It's still there. The world still turns around.


Stand up. Though circumstance has knocked you down. There is nothing gained by staying within it's reach.


Take strength. In every failure you endure. Our mistakes have many lessons they can teach.



(CH)



Destroy. These walls you've built around yourself. You can't take another step until they're gone.



Move out. No use in dwelling in the past. Bid farewell to all your fears and carry on.



(CH)

Answer 2

Could be your dealing with some major shame issues and this is self destructive behavior. Depression can be situational which everybody has gone through like say when your dog is run over by a car. It can also be clinical which can last for months or years and you have no clue why you feel so down. Usually a chemical imbalance and medicine can fix you right up. Either way it sounds to me like your lucky enough to have some people who care about you. Are you ashamed of your behavior and don't want to face your family or friends? This is something only you can answer, ask yourself if you'd be willing to help any of these people out if they needed help. I bet you would. Would you want them to push you away? I hope things get better for you, Good luck.

Answer 3

Maybe you are not meaning to push them away? I mean I know myself that when something goes wrong in my life I tend to kind of stay to myself rather than put my problems on the ones I know and love. If you are at the point to where you would be willing to harm yourself then you do need to be talking to a therapist, phyciatrist, or your friends, and family. That is the people who know and care for you the most, so try to push your pride aside and open up and let them know what you are feeling. You never know maybe your best friends/ family will be able to connect to you more than your therapist can. All I can say is best of luck to you and try not to keep things so bottled up.

Answer 4

Sorry but:
Why do YOU think you do/don't/can't?

There would not be a problem if you could go to your friends right? So the problem actually is you 'want' to be alone. Hey, you know that when you feel like that you HAVE a problem... that's 90% of the work though the last 10% is the hardest or so it seems in the beginning.

Adjust your mindset. Stop wanting to be alone. You must start to want to be with somebody... maybe not all the time but do not resist it. It's a start.

Answer 5

No one likes being seen when they are vulnerable and you are probably embarrassed and mad with yourself. Also you are having major problems between your self image and the way depression is affecting your personality and the way you see yourself.

You are already recognizing that you need help which is a positive sign. Once you are OK with your own sense of self, then you will find it easier to ask the people around you for help.

Answer 6

hi.some people are like that.they dont want to show other that they are weak or vulnerable and to hide this they get angry and show temper.i dont know whether that is the reason why u are doing this but more often than not later they feel bad and curse themselves about being horrible to friends and family.there is nothing wrong in asking for help or being vulnerable.if u are upset then crying will make u feel better.just admit this to the people whom u feel can help u and tell them to help u stay calm the next time u behave that way.tell them to bear with you.once you talk to them and they know u need them they will be there.most of the times people need to feel needed and they will be there for u then.good luck to u.hang in there.

Answer 7

Because, whether you want to hear it or not, you are scared and have insecurities. They are your friends and family, they don't want to hurt you, they want to help you. They know you've got some issues you are dealing with, whether you tell those people about the issues or not. It is better to open up to them and let your support system hold you up rather than trying to do everything on your own. If they are truly your friends, they won't care about your insecurities, and will help you on them.

Answer 8

that is part of the illness of depression... you force yourself into isolation which perpetuates the illness further.

I am glad you are getting help - talk about this with your therapist. They will be able to help you learn better coping skills for stress and sadness. And the fact that you RECOGNIZE this as a problem is the step in the right direction.

Answer 9

I know exactly how you feel, because I was pushed away too. when someone is sick, they don't realize what they're doing sometimes. You're only pushing your friends away because you don't want them to see you hurt and sick. I know what you're going through. Seeing a psychiatrist really helps, trust me, I've seen it work on my family!

have a wonderful day!

Answer 10

because when you are confused you do stupid things like push family and your support away. Just bring them back close to you and apolgize to them, they will understand....trust me.. they will. Good Luck and hope you feel better