last night we were watching an episode of Sex and The city, me and my girlfriend. Carrie was dating this guy Aiden. A great guy, really nice that she couldn't find a flaw with in how he treated her. So i turn my girlfriend with a "cute" manor and said, am I your aiden, me and him are like the same. To which she turned and said, a little conceided (Spelling?) aren't we? Should i be offended, yeah the guy has a slightly better body than me, but i treat my girl friend like gold. And for those of you who don't believe that read one of my older questions about what's expected of me in a relationship and you will know. Should i be offended, we've been dating for more than 2 years now? and she wasnt kidding.
2006-07-14 04:22:47 · 52 answers · asked by Drew 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi Drew:
Ouch. No, no, no. Hey, you sound like you are really bored. With a worry like that. My heavens, get on with your life.
A show is just a show. We all identify with some character, but don't let anyone judge you. You just turned your keys over to your girlfriend to judge you. No, no no.....a spell for disaster in the future.....
Don't ever joke around and ask if you are this or that. Seriously, you need to respect who you are and don't let someone else hold your reins ever, ever. She can say what she feels, because you asked for it. Maybe she was honest...so what! Who cares.
You are you. Period and respect that now and forever hold yourself carefully. Don't set patterns 'now' that you will regret later.
luv
Ava
2006-07-14 04:28:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If something that small offends you, then your never going to survive a relationship long term. You've got to have tougher skin than that for a relationship. I think to some degree your being a bit conceited about yourself and how you treat your girl. You can do the most wonderful things in the world, but you aren't the one on the receiving end of the relationship so you can't be sure that there isn't some major important thing to your girl that your not doing that is important in her eyes to a relationship. Stop being offended and instead take time to learn from your girl what more she is looking for in a relationship.
2006-07-14 04:28:59 · answer #2 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you were up for some romatic banter, and she wasn't. Now that you know what to watch for you can see how often it occurs. This is how you get to know a person - you notice these little things and judge whether you'd be growing in mostly the same direction. Behaviors now are setting the tone of your relationship and how it will develop in the future. If you now find that she doesn't ever like romatic banter - then you can judge if it is important to you and how you'd like the relationship to be.
Something you can actively do is nurture that behavior in your relationship and girlfriend. Your relationship is like a garden, you plant the seed of 'romantic' banter' - call it out so there are no misunderstandings. Then nurture the seed, nurture and reward those behaviors (no expectations - just like watching a flower bloom - you never know exactly what you'll get). Romantic banter is a wonderful thing to engage in too. You gain value for each other thru romantic banter.
2006-07-14 04:54:33 · answer #3 · answered by Applecore782 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you shouldn't be offended because of what she said. After all, you've been together for 2 years and that's a very long one. She might have said it not on purpose. She just wants to make you jealous of Aiden but you need not be like him. Just be yourself. I'm sure she loves you just they you are and not trying to be someone else. Sometimes, girls talk that way but they don't mean it. You should try asking her what she meant and hold on to your relationship. Don't let 1 sentence ruin everything. She knows how good you are and there is no need to question her how good you are comparing to someone else.
2006-07-14 04:32:46 · answer #4 · answered by IdOlIsTiC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think any offense should be taken. It sounds like she didn't mean anything by it. After all, if he was all that why is she with you? So, maybe you have something up on him. I wouldn't bring old bf's and old gf's into your relationship though no matter in what context. Leave them in your past where they were put.
Well, I can see where I was confused in the question. I thought Carrie was your girlfriend. Maybe she thought you were conceited to compare yourself to a T.V. star. She could have just used the wrong word. Let it pass. Or ask her what she meant. It probably isn't what you think it is. G-Luck.
2006-07-14 04:36:45 · answer #5 · answered by windandwater 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure she didn't mean for you to take offense to her comment. And, may I offer a little bit of advice? Most women DO want to be treated like queens or princesses, but you must NEVER reference it! If a woman thinks it just comes totally naturally to you to treat her like gold, she admires it and is in awe of it and will tell all her friends how wonderful you are. BUT if you feel the need to draw attention to the fact that you are treating her like gold, then it seems that you're actually working at it and it's no longer as appealing to us. Much like when doing a good deed, only people who are doing it for recognition will draw attention to it & those who do it from the heart never feel the need to talk about it.
2006-07-14 04:33:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody is flawless and I am sure later in the show Carrie managed to find Aiden's flaw. You should not be offended at all, but you should not think that you are perfect either, that shows too much arrogance. We are human and its ok to have a flaw. For example I hate the way my bg eats, especially soup. He eats it hot and starts sucking the soup and air before even the spoon is in his mouth. That sound drives me crazy mad, but its just part of who he is.
2006-07-14 04:28:18 · answer #7 · answered by fasb123r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure she was serious? Maybe she was putting on her poker face & calling your bluff. Perhaps you should have followed up with something like, "Well, I may not LOOK like him, but I'm a pretty good guy!" It would have done one of two things: either she would have softened her stance, or it would have opened the floor for discussion. All you have now is a skewed perception of your relationship that is likely to fester into a full-blown resentment. I recommend you talk to her in a gentle manner and make sure there was no misunderstanding. Perhaps there's something that she wishes you'd do but is too shy to ask; or maybe you do something that she hates, but is too kind to tell you about.
Rule #1 to all relationships: TALK! Communication is key to a good committed relationship.
2006-07-14 04:27:33 · answer #8 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
XXXXXXXX I think because I didn't really understand her meaning behind it I would have been a bit offended. Instead of shrugging it off I would have talked to her after the show was over and asked her exactally what she meant by that. Two years is a long time for a relationship. maybe she's just comfortable with youi and like we all do, speak without even thinking. Give her a chance to explain. It may not be as bad as you think. Good luck hun. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
2006-07-14 04:31:47 · answer #9 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, this is how she acts. You know this. If you don't like the way that she acts now, break up with her. Past behavior is the best indication of future behavior. Find someone who wants to treat a great guy how he should be treated. The person that you are with should make you feel good about who you are.
2006-07-14 04:28:14 · answer #10 · answered by The Nag 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋