Sad. Help?

Question

Just broken up with by boyfriend (for the third time this year).
We are AMAZING when we're together -- our only problems come from our exes; we each had JUST gotten out of long, serious relationships when we started dating and eventually fell in love.

I am going away for all of next year to study in Paris, but at the beginning of the summer we decided to just enjoy each other and date for the rest of the summer, and then talk about getting back together when I returned from France. But recently he found something I'd written to my ex in a heated moment -- (my ex is suicidal essentially because of me), and now we are broken up, because he questions everything we had, and says he doesn't trust me at all anymore and can't see himself doing so.

His way of dealing is being cold and shut off, and while I know maybe there's a future for us when I get back, he is quite the handsome, smart catch, and I'm sure he'll find someone better. I need someone to tell me how to/if I should just move on

Also:

in the past when he's said harsh, "permanent" things like "I never want to be with you again," he's eventually taken them back and seen the value of us. But should I take it seriously this time?

Also: he is clealr yless mature than me, as he does not think it matters/should be taken into account that he was also broderline sketchy with his ex. He's not a jerk, though -- they're close in the same way that me and my ex are. But to say that I don't deserve another chance when I've given him SO many seems unfair and sad....especially given how good we are together.

Answer 1

You should move on. Go to France and concentrate on your studies. Meet new people while you're there and have a little fun. If you and this guy were meant to be then everything will work out in the end. If it doesn't, then consider it a blessing in disguise. Good luck.

Answer 2

It sounds to me like he is insecure about you leaving to France. He might be reacting out of fear that you may find someone else over there. I think that maybe it is a good idea not to look for another relationship until you return from France. However saying mean things to you is abusive and he shouldn't say things he doesn't mean. Taking it back doesn't work because you can't pretend that those things were never said. And the person still remembers what you said. Maybe when you come back he will be more mature and you two can take another crack at it.

On the other hand it also sounds like the two of you have unfinished business with your ex lovers. You might want to settle that before considering getting involved with other people. If your ex is suicidal over you he needs to get help. Do not let his depression be your responsibility. Also make sure that he is not manipulating you by saying he wants to commit suicide. Some people use that as a tool to get back a lost love. Most people that are suicidal do not tell anyone. You don't find out they were suicidal til their dead. But just in case urge him to seek professional help.

Answer 3

As u ve mentioned u ve broken up 3 times this there, firstly I would suggest that u do some self evaluation, there can be some problem may be short tempered,possessive etc..( no offence) generally when angry we end up saying certain things v ourselves regret later, give some time to analyse ur self, then talk to him, n give some time to both of u as both of u are recently out of serious relationship,there can b feeling of insecurity, n if u want to be in only coz he is very handsome n smart catch, then u move on, one can get lots, but if some serious then as i mentioned above, hope my ans helps you...

Answer 4

Alot can happen in a year. You will just have to figure out where you both stand when you get back from Paris. He may have found someone new and the same thing can happen to you. Let him cool off. If your relationship was as amazing to him as it is to you, then maybe he will re-think being upset with you.

Answer 5

Having been dumped many a time myself, I would just push him to the back of your mind, live life to the full, and help your ex stop being suicidal. If that means taking him to a counselor, so be it. However, you may have to use verbal force to do it, because as far as I am aware, most suicidal people don't like getting help, they just want to kill themselves. Scary though ey.

Answer 6

Everyone has a hard time moving on after breaking up with someone we really love. It just takes time. It gets a little bit easier everyday. You will always have a little piece of your heart that will always care for him. But you will find someone that makes you feel soo much better. Like you are walking on clouds.

Answer 7

Move on. If this is the third time happening then you are not destined to be together and any further attempts are just being forced on the relationship. Go to your studying abroad and move on.

Answer 8

time to move on ...enjoy Paris