Does anyone feel like your life has ended after having kids? Have 2 16mn old twins, my time and life has stopd

Question

Don't get me wrong, i love my kids, i just come home after work sometimes and like, what have i gotten into?

Answer 1

I know what you mean, but it will get better and better - especially after they turn five and are more independent. Remember to take walks and get pedicures - take care of yourself - you'll be out of the woods sooner than you know.

Answer 2

How about anyone who has ever had a child! All new parents go through this ( if they are honest with themselves) I know it is hard to believe when you are so sleep deprived and exhausted most of the time - but it does pass quickly. Take things in small stages instead of feeling like it will be like this forever. In another few months they will be more communicative and can do more things for themselves. Then in another 3 or 4 years they will be in school and you will have even more time to yourself. The most important thing you can do is to find someone you can talk to about these perfectly normal feelings. Have you checked to see if there is a Mother of Twins support group in your town? If only for two hours a week - arrange to have some time for yourself. Take a long bath, do your nails, read - anything that is absolutely selfish. It will be time well invested.If you do not care for yourself and make yourself happy - you cannot be a good mother. Remember - years from now these times will be just a fond memory.

Answer 3

I have a new baby and I occasionly feel like my social life has stopped b/c it really has. I make sure that when my son is napping to skip chores/house work and spend it on me. ( you could do this on weekends since you work durring the week) That way I feel ready to go and happy when he gets back up. Then when my husband gets home I give him a break and chance to get his stuff together and afterwards he'll spend time with my son with out bothering me for atleast an hour so I can do the laundry/dishes/dinner (loud things). But once my hour is up I get back to the family. After my son is in bed I pick up the toys and any remaining quiet things. I would recommend an early bedtime (7-8 ish) so that you may have more time. Also even if they don't nap have them do quiet time in their rooms (cribs/bed). It'll be good for all 3 of you. Now for getting back to a social life. If you havent had a babysitter and don't want one- take turns with hubby for going out with a gf or go take a walk by yourself, get toes done. Just remember what you have gotten yourself into is a family. You have 2 little ones who look up to you, love you, count on you, and need you. And I'm sure you feel the same way about them. When you get home from work- why don't you throw some music on and dance around with the kids and get some stress out and have some fun. Some days are harder then the next but all their accomplishments and smiles are worth it.Good luck!

Answer 4

I know exactly what you feel like. I have four children of my own and my Fiance has 4 children (6 if you count the two we had together), We have 6 of the 8 children that live with us. I don't have a "paying job". My "job" is to be a full time mother to the kids. I love every last one of them and i treat my fiances children just as if they were my own (sometimes i think i feel as if they are) It is so hard because i don't have family that will take the kids even just for an hour. I just sometimes wish i could just runaway. Even more so when my fiance is out of town and i am alone with the kids for days without any help at all. I don't drive to even get anywhere.

Answer 5

Your life does feel like it stops, but i promise you it will get better. Sometimes what you need to do is call some one and say hey i really need to get a away for a little while i am dropping off the kids or can you come over and watch the kids. I just need a little break. The older they get the eaiser it will become. Don't get down on your self though. Just keep your head up and keep working at it. I have two kids one of which has a life threating illness. So i understand what you feel like, but be happy your kids are healthy and and keep being the best mom you can be. And if you need to get out then call someone and get out for a while.

Answer 6

Kids certainly change priorities. If you thought you would go out every weekend with the hubby and now you can't, I can see why you would feel trapped. Try to incorporate kids into your own plans. Find other mom friends; they're a little more understanding than childless friends in most cases, and you can get together with them and your kids and still have a good time. If you want to complete a project or are involved in a serious hobby, get help around the house. Teenagers can babysit in your home, etc. Or get your hubby/partner to pitch in a few nights a week so you can have YOU time.

Answer 7

Children can be challenging and a blessing at the same time.

Remember, they will only be babies for a short time......they will only be young children for a short time......they will only be older children for a short time..........THEN....... comes the TEENAGERS!!!!!!!

YOU THINK YOU HAVE IT HARD NOW??? WAIT UNTIL THEN, BABY. YOU WILL WISH THEY WERE BACK TO BABIES AGAIN AND PERHAPS COULD HAVE STAYED THERE. (LOL)

AFTER ALL THAT............they grow up completely and go to college or move on with their lives and you miss the hell out them. The nest is empty.

In other words......they are only under you for a short time and when they are grown, they are grown forever. Take it from someone who knows, the time really goes faster than you think.

Cherish every moment you have with those beautiful babies, they are nothing less than a blessing.

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Take yourself a hot bubble bath by candle lights when there is someone home to keep an eye on the twins or when they go to bed and you just try to relax in the meantime until they get older.

With time, it will all get better.

Answer 8

I know how you feel. I have just 1 2 year old, and he takes lots of my time. With twins, you have twice as much happening. It is a big stressor to work and have children. When I was working full time, my son was an infant. All I did was work and take care of my son. You need to take care of yourself. Get a babysitter once in a while and go shopping or get your hair done. Take a class or do something you enjoy. It will help. If you feel good, it will show. Your family will appreciate it.

Answer 9

I feel your pain. My wife and I have a wonderful 10 month old. We love him to death but it is still difficult to adjust to the lifestyle changes that come with having a baby. Sometimes I look out the window as if looking through prison bars. I can't imagine having twins as my son is a very difficult baby by everyone's account but can't be as difficult as having two. My wife and I are equally involved with raising him. I can't imagine doing it alone or her doing it alone. Hopefully you have a good support system. Good luck to you. I try and focus on the good things and the fact that, while life as I used to know it is over, there are many things to look forward to in the future. Also, at some point, I know I can get some of my old lifestyle back.

Answer 10

If you have family that live close to you, Ask if once a month they could go spend the night, and go on a date with your husband, and sleep in the next morning. You would be surprised how much one night out and a good night sleep can do! My husband and I do it, maybe not often enough, but it really helps. And I really miss my two yr old daughter by the time she gets home! You still need time for yourself, take it, and dont feel guilty about it!

Answer 11

It's normal to feel that way! Sometimes the demands of kids(especially twins) are overwhelming. ( i have a 16 month old too, I can't imagine having 2 of the same...lol he is quite a handful!) Make some time for yourself. That always makes me feel better. Have a girls night (or weekend) away, and have their dad take care of them. You'll feel better. Your life has not ended...it's just on hold! Good luck~