Jokes about threats?

Answer 1

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing
at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her
that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her
complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states
that she wants to write a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and
asks," What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you
your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."

Answer 2

Threat
A Marine colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving."
He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks, "Excuse me, Officer, what's the hold up?"

The Officer replies, "The President is just so depressed about the impeachment thing he stopped his motorcade in the middle of the Beltway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says his family hates him and he doesn't have the $33.5 million he owes his lawyers. I'm walking round taking up a collection for him."

"Oh really? How much have you collected so far?"

"So far only about three hundred gallons but I've got a lot of folks still siphoning."

Answer 3

Hey Merrily it's my sister you're f***ng and for that u're dead meat.
Just kidding anyway u're still gonna DIE.
Just kidding again... hahahaa

Answer 4

I will kill you! Just joking. See, very easy.

Answer 5

I reported you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was a joke