How do Asian people do it?

Question

I am amazed by how Asian people keep their emotions in check.

After waiting to find out if my "crush" on a girl was real love, in my hesitation to validate what I was feeling, someone has already stepped up to the plate, and now she has a boyfriend. I am devistated beyond reproach, and I at a loss how to keep up a "poker face' in light of what has just happened. I just don't seem to be good at faking what is inside of me. I still have to see this person once every 2-4 weeks, and I just don't want to let on what is really my problem, not her's.

Any idea's, please?

Answer 1

She is not married yet is she? If she is not then you still have a chance. True love will overcome any affection she may have towards this guy. I would say keep trying to be close to her and win her over.

Answer 2

There's a bit of generalization regarding Asian women in your statement. It's quite subjective, given that any Asian society today is already exposed to Western culture through media, education and social and work interaction.

In your case, assuming you are a Westerner, the girl may not have expected you to be that hesitant (Westerners shoot from the hip and do not hesitate to show their love right?).

You are talking of making a simple relationship move on someone right? Why hesistate - its not marriage that we are talking about. You make yourself sound more Asian than the girl!

And so what if she now has a boyfriend? Why can't you show your interest in her too? It is not contrary to Asian culture for 2 men to share interest in the same girl! It's 'a level playing field' until an engagement announcement or family intervention.

Answer 3

well, its not too late yet. just be honest and let her know how you feel, who knows, maybe she is waiting for you in the first place. its just someone else stepped out ahead of you?

i guess its in our genes, or the way we were brought up or our culture is the cause of keeping our emotions in check, as you put it. unless, they turn westernize and you see the other side. but usually, asian is a little bit of mixture of being conservative, stubborn, shy, reserve or timid, that's for both gender.

some are wild, flamboyant among their own but asian is way too friendly towards other races. some look snobbish but if you get to know them, they are different. they try to feel you first, then if they see that you are kind, nice, respectable, you will see that they are cool to be around. they believe in that saying " first impression lasts"..

plus they are family oriented, they look tough beyond reproach, but you can infiltrate their facade if you go through the matriarch. that's for both gender as well. some try to court the mom first either for the guy or the gal, then their purpose will not be in vain. i guess they believe in saying, if they treat the mom with adoration, there's no problem in the future getting along with the rest of the clan. plus she is the ruler of the house, not the men, whatever she say must go...

good luck...

Answer 4

1 - Not all Asians keep their emotions in check and not all non-Asian people let their emotions fly off the handle.

2 - You need to just move on. If you have to see them, keep it short, and find a new interest.

Answer 5

Not all asians can. It's a bit diificult for me, but I'm a realist, like most asians. We only have one life and I'm not gonna waste any time feeling sorry for myself.

Answer 6

Each person is different and they show their emotions differently. That is what makes each person unique. Don't worry about how you look to her or what her actions are. Just be yourself and if you are not asian then don't try to emulate one. Be yourself and you will be just fine.

Answer 7

What does your story have to do with Asians? Find another b*tch. They're a dime a dozen.

Answer 8

don't pretend, tell her all you've just wrote here, each and every single word and if you'll be laughed at, she's not for you anyway. if you were ment to be, something'll happen. in fact, she might be playing wit u to see if you really care about her and wants to see if you're man enough to tell her (one possibility)

Answer 9

We tend to be realists. It is your fault you didn't speak up, so why take it out on her? Just suck it up and move on, it is all you can do. If you really care for her, you want her to be happy. So let her be.

Answer 10

It is a cultural thing learned at home from childhood.