I met this amazing women this past week we have had great conversations, have spent time together, our kids are the same age and hit it off, not to metion we are both attracted to each other. Her divorce was final a month ago and was looking for something just sexual, we did hit if of on that level but also on so many other levels. She told me that she did not want anything serious but she is having a hard time seeing me because she sees that we could have a relationship but she is not ready for one and has been a little stand offish and seems like she is pushing me away. I really like her alot and dont want to push her further away but I miss talking to and seeing her, what do I do? How much time do I give her? Is there anything I can do to make her see what she is missing out on? Thanks
2006-07-14 02:47:03 · 16 answers · asked by jay j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All you can really do is be available to her when she's ready. After a divorce, it's really a good idea to not jump into another relationship and create another dependency. Give her time to get on her feet and settled back on her own again, it might take quite a bit of time before she feels ready to "date" again or get into a relationship, so try and be patient.
2006-07-14 02:50:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been divorced, and I know that it took me a while to readjust psychologically afterward. Think about it..... 2 people have to learn a new way of being with each other (if kids are involved). Even if there are no kids, it's still quite an adjustment that takes a lot of mental energy. Many times, one or both people question their decision, sometimes trying to reconcile.
My rule has been to not date anyone who has ended a long term relationship within the last 12 to 18 months. I broke it once, and learned my lesson the hard way.
Try to just be strictly platonic friends, and give it 6 months.. see how it goes. Good luck.
2006-07-14 03:07:54 · answer #2 · answered by talking tina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do right now is nothing...You have everything going in your favor. She needs to continue to explore and make up her own mind, and from the sounds of it your on the top of the list right now. If you push this subject with her and she decides to stop any sort of search and stick with you due to your persistence, when the honey moon portion of the relationship dies down, she will begin to realize there may have been more she could have experienced before she jumped into this situation...respect her decision to make her own choices on her own time and if it leads back to you...your relationship with her will be much stronger than if you were to have just swept her off her feet...good luck.
2006-07-14 03:00:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her time! How much you say? It depends. She is probably real scared of a serious relationship, especially after just getting divorced and is afraid of just jumping into something. Maybe you could just call her once in awhile and maybe go out here and there. If she don't want to go out anymore because she is afraid just give her time. If you two were meant to be it will happen eventually. Good Luck.
2006-07-14 02:53:25 · answer #4 · answered by sam04m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well number 1 if you don't want to end up just being a rebound... give her some space... coming out of marriage especially with children is tough.... try to be friends and do things together but don't be to clingy or needy because she will run in the other direction... If you give her what she needs most likely she will see that you do genuinely care for her and if the spark truly is there then it will ignite!!!
2006-07-14 02:53:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sit down and talk to her, Dude. Tell her how you feel and that you don't want to push her away. Give her alot of space and be there when she needs you. You're going to have to be patient and it will be rewarding when she decides to step forward in the relationship. I wouldn't advise you to sleep with her...that would blow everything. Tell her when she's ready for a real relationship (not just sex) you'll be there.
2006-07-14 02:51:34 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is just trying to get over a marriage that didn't work and just doesn't want to rush into things. If she's been married for a long time, she probably feels like she deserve a little time for herself. If you are really interested in her, you will wait until she decides she is ready for another full time relationship.
2006-07-14 02:52:57 · answer #7 · answered by luckymom43 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to tell you what to do, as I am having the same sort of problem with my current girlfriend... My only suggestion, is even though it may pain you to do as such... Take it at the pace she wants to take it... and Try to help her work it out as a freind...
She's scared is what's happening... Scared that she's gettng serious so early, scared that it might turn out like her last relationship... She just needs some time..
2006-07-14 02:52:32 · answer #8 · answered by Rob D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you take the signs , and step off a lil and give her some time she would really love that. She needs a lil time to get over her past. She doesn't want to bring you into the drama. Just stand back a lil.
2006-07-14 02:52:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything. She's not right for you. She won't respect you in the morning and her parents probably won't like you. If she has a dog and it bites you then that's another sign that it's not right. If she doesn't have a dog then get her one and hang around and see if it bites you. If it bites her then it doesn't like her either and you two shouldn't own a dog.
2006-07-14 02:57:09 · answer #10 · answered by EMAILSKIP 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋