anyone know any gay jokes?

Question

come on! make us laugh!

Answer 1

Lubed Up

Tom and Mike, two gay men, are on their honeymoon.

After a passionate night together, Tom suddenly realises that they have run out of lube, so he says to Mike "I'm just off to the shop to get some more lube - we've run out!" He also says "and there's to be no wanking while I'm gone, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." replies Mike.

Twenty minutes later, Tom returns and on opening the door sees a whole load of *** on the bed. He says to Mike "I thought I told you there was to be no wanking?"

Mike replies "I didn't, I just farted!"

Answer 2

A man came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas ".
The barman says 'Wow! You must have had a rough day". "Yes I just found out my older brother is gay". The next day the same guy came in and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today, the answer came back 'I just found out that my younger brother is gay too!! On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, " Brother Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" The man replied "Yes- my wife"

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How can you make a gay man scream twice ?
Screw him real hard. Then wipe yourself off on his curtains.

Why did the little Greek boy run away from home?
He did not like the way he was being reared.

Did you hear about the homosexual electron?
Went about blowing fuses.

Why do so many gays have moustaches?
To hide the smile stretch marks.

Did you hear about the homosexual letter?
Only came in male boxes.

What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the back and go whoo-whoo.-

Answer 3

Wait...gay jokes? How can you tell if a joke is gay or not? Are there bars for these gay jokes to go hang out in, or do they meet each other at the gym? If a straight guy tells a gay joke, what does that mean? Does the army's 'don't ask, don't tell' policy basically prohibit gay jokes then? I mean if a gay joke can't be told, what's the point?

For that matter, how do you tell if a joke is male or female? Dear Lord, you now have me worried that I have been cross-joking!

Answer 4

An old cowboy sat down in a Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"



He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves,bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a real cowboy."


She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women." The two sat sipping in silence.


A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"



He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."

Answer 5

How do you fit 4 gay guys on one stool?






flip it over


what do you call a gay guy in a wheel chair?


Roll aids

Answer 6

this gay guy and a horse walk into a bar the bartender asks why the long face ?

Answer 7

What is the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn't squeal when you put meat in it.

Answer 8

Yes. There was this flamer called My Big Bear Ron. He liked his bung licked by other men. He like big hairy balls on his chin. Hardy ******* har.

Answer 9

Knock knock.
Who's there?
A big gay man.

Answer 10

there is two gay guys watching a dog lick himself & one of them says "man I wish I could do that..."
Then the other one says "Shouldn't you pet him first?"