i've been with my partner for six years, have no kids and hardly any friends, the ones i do have tend to bore me and we don't have much in common. my relationship suffers because of this as i rely on my partner for my socialising too. over the past 6 months or so i have been feeling different about my partner, I have lost interest in our sexual relationship and often thought about ending it. It's came to the point where i have now said that i am going to move on, perhaps move away and try and start all over again with new friends etc.....I love my partner so much that it hurts to think that i will not see him every day and that I will not be the mother of his children. We were going to try for kids. but i don't know what else to do.....i think that if i did have a bigger circle of friends then ouir relationship would not have suffered as much.... DO I BREAK AWAY AND MOVE ON?? I feel desperately sad.
2006-07-14 00:29:19 · 25 answers · asked by The Banshee 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we have discussed this in great length, i told him last night that it waas over.
2006-07-14 00:36:14 · update #1
You love your boyfriend very much so why leave? I think you are just needing to broaden your horizons a bit. Stop relying on him for all your social needs. Take up a hobby, something that really interest's you or go to night school. You will make new friends then. Maybe then you will feel more settled and able to enjoy the time you spend with your boyfriend. Take care x
2006-07-14 00:35:49 · answer #1 · answered by happyflamepepper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you have attempted to already but, I would talk to him about it. If he is in the know maybe he will try to make the situation better for you. Maybe you both can consider moving some place new and starting over together. Sounds like you guys have a strong relationship and now a day that is not easy to find, so make the best of it while you can.
If you do speak to him about it but sense that with time things have not improved then maybe you should then consider ending it and moving on with your life. It will be hard at first, but if you do move away on your own, become involved with things that will enable you to meet others with similar interests and that should help keep you busy and in turn keep your mind off of things!
GOOD LUCK!
2006-07-14 00:41:02 · answer #2 · answered by PROMISCUOUS SEDUCTION 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh honey! you poor thing!
if you truly love your partner and want his children, as you've described, then it would be torturous to the both of you to leave.
you sound lonely and perhaps a little depressed. have you moved to a new area? changed jobs? done anything to lessen contact with your friends or lose contact with them?
my husband and I recently relocated away from London - where i've lived all my life - to Norfolk. at first it was exciting - new place, new job. then it was awful. I was so so lonely, and I too lost interest in my husband. but, now, I've tried to do things to increase my social circle - things that we can do together. we have a couple of sets of friends, which may not sound like much but I feel one true friend is worth 100 'mates' or 'buddies'.
we went to a couple of haunted weekend type occasions, to the theatre, I joined a gym and went to classes... there's lots you can do.
I know once you havent spoken to any friends its so so difficult to try and make new ones - you lose your confidence and thats hard to regain.
my advise - book something for either yourself or for both of you, where you'll have the opportunity to meet others. get dolled up, hold your head high, and be yourself. I guarantee you will make friends.
where abouts do you live? there must be some local groups that arrange nights out, or hobbies or things that interest you.
PM me if you need a hand, or want to have a good old moan - I know how important that is.
Please, just dont do anything drastic that will ause youmore pain. only cinsider leacing him if you dnt love him or dont want to build a future with him.
take care
x
2006-07-14 00:37:41 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been together 6 years, but have been unhappy 6 months...I'd say, try to work on those issues before you decide whether or not to give up. Get some help, and make sure that your sadness isn't something that can be helped in another way. If he isn't a jealous, controlling, freak...talk to him about how you feel and ways you two can connect and change the things that aren't working. Now, if he is jealous, and controlling, I'd say RUN because that is not a personality trait that can be fixed.
2006-07-14 00:37:56 · answer #4 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think very seriously about this love. I am in the same position as you at the moment. My advice to you is that you are feeling low and sad and incomplete because your needs are not being met. You cannot expect your partner to meet all of your needs. Us, as humans need some time on our own - no matter how much you love your partner. Find ways to do things - like me I am starting a pilates class, which will get me out for a bit and enable me to relax and enjoy my company. It sounds like you trully love him and don't want to be without him but you are drowning in self pity as you have nothing to give because you need some YOU time. I have moved over 500 miles from my home town to be with my fiance and have no friends yet but it will happen in time. Just tell him that you need some time for yourself and with this you will feel so revitalised that you will be able to give much more to the relationship. He will be happy with this as it sounds like he really loves you. Don't give up - if I lived near you i'd be your friend!
Chin up and smile
2006-07-14 02:18:48 · answer #5 · answered by Sasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you live and whether it's possible, but... if you love him so much, why don't you try to expand your social circle? There are ways to do that, if you really want to - libraries, cultural events (concerts, plays)... fanclubs (find people who share your interests and some of them may live, or know people who live, in your area).
Also, if you are not poor, you may go for a bit of charity - old clothes, whatever - to children or elder people, and you may meet good people there. This one will make you feel good and you may get excited about noble things even if you do not find many friends as ones you are looking for.
Also, you may look for some courses in your area - language, or special skills (knitting or something), just so that you meet new people.
What I mean is, if you want to be with your partner, give your community another chance.
or, perhaps... move to someplace new _with_ him?
2006-07-14 00:36:27 · answer #6 · answered by AlphaOne_ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only you can answer this. if you say you love your partner then you must fill his needs, socially, emotionally, sexually, mentally. do you really know what his needs are? have you bothered to find out? it sounds more like your partner is not filling your needs and thus the root of the problem.
first be introspective and ask if you are doing all you can in those areas for him. them go to him and just talk; not fight. and tell him you have needs and actually present a plan about how to get him involved in your life again. if he loves and cares for you half as much as you care for him he will respond willingly. if does not respond, then he has turned into a selfish taker and cares only for himself. and that is no relationship. then in that case you must make a decision.
2006-07-14 00:38:30 · answer #7 · answered by itshowmuch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
imagine that you two are married.. would you be able to say what you said? would you really be willing to end it and give up everything you ever had? sometimes it is useful to go away for a bit.. take a break.. knowing that it's not completely over.. or try something new together.. how does he feel about all this? if it hurts him as it hurts you then try to work it out somehow.. give yourselves another chance.. i imagine married couples could suffer from similar situations too.. don't cause unnecessary pain and give up only to regret it later.. just think about what you truly want.. and go from there
2006-07-14 00:42:16 · answer #8 · answered by Ninja CK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you tried to discuss this with your partner, i wouldn't just give up on this relationship only because you sad that it hurts you knowing that you wouldn't see him everyday, so its obvious that there is still something there. its sound like your relationship is just stale and needs a face lift, i would sit down with him and try and work some thing out that can make this relationship work, don't break away just yet, there are other avenues for you to go down first, if worse comes to worse and you cant resolve anything try and counsellor if that doesn't work then i would say its time to beak away, good luck i hope it all works out for you
2006-07-14 00:37:22 · answer #9 · answered by pebblesandkara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good on you i think you have to make a clean break have a couple of months to your self then after say 3months if you still miss and love him tell him you would like to start again slowly just get tin to no each other again but if after this time you dont want to get back just go out and enjoy yourselve maybe meet sopmeone new try to meet new friends at work or join some groups just enjoy yourself lifes to short
2006-07-14 00:58:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋