best excuses to get rid of johovas from your doorstep?

Question

i usually use , i cant stop i'm just out to give blood.

Answer 1

Dont use excuses! Fight Fire with Fire.

Keep this next to your door and see how far down the list of questions you can get.

My record is 9!

http://www.douknow.net/jw_stumper.htm
See Questions, click here.

Answer 2

An old mate of mine once answered his door to a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses who asked him "Do you believe in the Devil?"
Now my mate was a mischievous wot-sit and had been drinking quite a bit, he grabbed an empty beer bottle, smashed the end of and shouted "I AM THE DEVIL!" and proceeded to chase them over his garden and into the street while screaming like a banshee.

He got arrested later that day for threatening behaviour and I stopped going round as much.

These days; I spend enough time on the doorstep with them as necessary to break their arguments into obvious illogical contradictions (about 5 mins), take a Watchtower, and ask them to call back in a couple of weeks to continue our discussion - they never call back!

Answer 3

There is no reason not to just be direct and tell them you're not interested. They can be pushy, but all you need to do is push back. Just tell them to go away. Trying to force you religion on someone else is one of the rudest things you can do. Don't feel bad about kicking somone off your doorstep for trying.

I live in an apartment, so when they buzz my number I just tell them I'm not interested and hang up. I don't even waste my time talking to them.

Answer 4

Tell them you're a devout Catholic and they're going to Hell for being heretics and rejecting the teachings of the Pope, Christ's vicar on earth. That usually makes 'em scram; remember, most of them aren't really into it, they're just doing it because they're required to. I have the most fun when two come, an old one and a young one. I zero in on the young, insecure one. Have fun with them.

Answer 5

That's a good one. Last time a Jehovah's witness came to door, they wouldn't go away and I ended up punching them in the face. I reckon the blood one really works, I can't think of anything better.

Answer 6

An ex of mine once invited them in and then lit all the black candles in the flat. he then asked if they would mind if he put on some music - they didnt so he promptly put on Judas Priest (bear in mind this was at the time when they were going through THAT court case about satanism in their music!!) Funnily enough they never came back :-)

Answer 7

Tell him U talk to God & God needs a human sacrifice.. a holy person wud be good 4 the sacrifice... the process is not painful & all he will die in his sleep due to the effects of poison an hour after he has consumed it with his meal..
Then invite him to have dinner with u. ;)

Answer 8

Get a fake headstone engraved with "here lies the last guy to give me pamphlets." Then throw out a bunch of pamphlets on the ground around it.

Answer 9

Buy a St. Bernard like I did!.......that keeps all unwanted solicitations from my front door & my yard. The ones who actually GET to the door i just politely tell them i'm Buddhist....that works too!

Answer 10

well when they came to mine i had just got out of bed with my gf and was wearing a top saying barbie is a lesbian.she asked me if i knew what easter eas all about so i said jesus died for our sins.she then said yes thats right and said you we need to come back and see you.so i forgot all about it.pissed myself laughing a bit.then weeks later a knock on the door came.she came back with her feckin family!!!....so for months i couldnt get rid of them.eventually my sister had to say id moved.so really i think the joke was on me!!