why is my 8yr old daughter uptight?

Question

my daughter is 8 i love her to bits but latley she has been arguing back,wont eat her packed lunch,every day i feel like im moaning,i had a baby 7 months ago,i think she might be jealous of the attention im giving the baby,im trying to spend time with both,but im just really tierd by the time i do want to spend time with my 8 yr old,i feel guilty,my partner is very helpful and loving and my 8yr old adores her stepfather.....so what am i doing so wrong,for once i would like this 8yr old to smile more and eat her packed lunch,any suggestions

some great advice which is making me blub as it feels like a everyone knows what im going through....thankyou to all who have answered so far xxxxxxxx

Answer 1

You know, it may just be that time. Time for her to start pulling away and rebelling against mom. Cause we know it's not "cool" to be cool with your mom anymore.

Part of it could be because of the new baby. If that's part of it, try giving the baby to your partner for a whole day (don't worry... he probably won't break the baby!) and take your 8 year old out for a fun girls only day. Get your hair and nails done. Go shopping. Let her drink apple juice from a champagne glass. Just get back together with her. And make it a priority to spend at least one day with her and only her every two weeks or so.

Also, you could try setting aside a certain time each day that is just Mommy/ Daughter time too. Where you don't have to worry about baby or anything else. Maybe she could help you cook dinner or something. Or maybe you could get her more involved with caring for baby. If she feels like she's an important person in his upbringing, (or in the family period) it should help to improve her mood.

With the lunches... maybe she's just embarassed because at this age, most kids buy their lunch. I remember getting picked on when I'd bring my lunch to school around her age. Maybe you could give her some money for lunch a few times a week. And the other days, let her help you pack her lunch... so you at least know she's getting what she wants.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Sounds like you're having a rough time of it. It really does sound like your daughter is jealous of the new baby. She might feel like she's being replaced, pushed out of the new family you have made with your partner. Make sure she knows how special she is and that you don't love her any less than you love your baby.

Try and set aside a set time that is just for you and her. Your partner could have the baby so your attention will not be pulled away. You don't have to do anything special. Maybe just watch a girly film together or go shopping or just sit and talk in her bedroom. Buy a set you can use to make bead jewellery or friendship bracelets. It can be a project that you do together and afterwards, if she's feeling a bit down, she can just look at it and remember what fun you both had making it together.

With regards to the packed lunch, find out if there's anything special she would like in there, maybe a chocolate bar or something. I know sweets aren't the answer but it will make her feel like you're listening to her and at least she will be eating something. Try some different foods as well, like pitta breads and rolls instead of boring bread all the time. Another thing yoiu can do is slip a little note from you into her lunchbox telling her how much you love her. It will make her feel really special. I've done that a few times with my boyfriend and he really liked it. It shows you're thinking about them.

Good luck with this and I hope it all works itself out.

Answer 3

is is definitely a jealous thing. I went through the same thing. I have a 1 yr old and 10 yr old. Make sure you try and spend at least 5 or 10 minutes just talking to her. I know you are tired but it will mean alot to her. Have your husband watch the baby for like an hour or two and take her to the park once a week. It will be good for you to get out of the house and there is something you are doing together. It will give you both something to look forward to. Even if you just give her a hug and sit on her bed for a minute or two in the evening. Try it. you will both be better for it. Your husband might enjoy the time with the baby!

Congratulations!

Answer 4

She is probably seeking some attention as children do even negative attention i.e being told off is better than no attention i know it can be hard sharing yourself around i have had experience of this lol. Is there anyway your partner could look after the baby for a couple of hours a week or so and then you could spend some time with your daughter like going swimming or cinema having fun. I have a girly night with my daughter for an hour set aside for her only one night a week where we do each others hair, chat, gossip and do whatever she likes. I hope you resolve the situation soon and good luck :)

Answer 5

The joys of motherhood! I know exactly how you feel I think it is jealousy. My eight year old goes around saying "you don't love me you love her more than me". It is very tiresome I don't think you are doing anything wrong it's her way of trying to get more attention. My only solution is to get you other half to have the baby while you spend half an hour quality time with your eight yr old every day or every 2 days and make sure you stick with it. If you have to change the day or time make sure she /he knows why and reschedule to show them they are important too. I know it sounds like too much but it is Worth it she needs to really know she is important too. Give her a few extra chores to do or things to help you with. I still have some trouble now and the little one is 2. Remember to try and always keep things fair it Will;l save a lot of heartache in the end bless you and good luck you're a mum who's doing a great job!

Answer 6

she is 8 and from what I have seen it sounds normal (i have 8 months to go before my daughter is this age) Try to have some one on one time with her she does need it. You need to keep the lines of communication open as before you know it adolescents will be here. Leave the baby with it's Dad and go out for a coffee(hot chocolate for her) you need only go for an hour but it will mean a lot for her and also gived the dad some time 1 on 1 with the baby

Answer 7

I wish I could give you some advice to help, but I am going through the same with my 10 year old at the moment.
Her attitude is getting worse by the day.
You are not doing anything wrong its just kids of today, talk to some of the other parents and you will probably find they are going though the same
Hang in there everything will work out fine!!

Answer 8

:> dont worry i try this each of the time yet i'm 16.... yet i used to do this even as i replaced into youthful yet even my little cousins who're 7 and eight try this 'act' besides its not slutty as you've said alongside with yet another answer its kinda purely what occurs those days every1 does it its organic :> it is how maximum females at my college greet eachother (except like the emo, depressed, nerdi, instructors pets + each of the inbetweens) yet it is the most uncomplicated thanks to assert hi :> in case you could call your own daughter a 16 year old s;lut nicely then she should be pretentious at living house purely be particular you pull her into line and be particular that if she needs some thing that you dont provide it to her on a silver coated cloud and she or he won't be able to easily call for issues purely be elementary on her as she sounds established as all 8 year olds go by ability of the im the most acceptable degree....its area of girlhood and to someone who suggested they are girly girly girly females nicely not tru it is how even tomboys at my college communicate so yer and to somebody else who suggested no1 in there college does it nicely your college sounds unhappy!!!! get some cool people then...

Answer 9

Do you smoke cigarettes in your house? Second hand cigarette smoke can affect the behaviour of children that age.

Answer 10

seek medical help